Bridesmaids dresses - bridezilla?

semay23

Ok ladies! I need your opinions! I'm having a casual, rustic outdoor wedding ceremony in October. My plan is to go with the mismatched bridesmaids look, and am going to tell my three bridesmaids that they can pick their own dresses. I'm going to ask that they pick yellow dresses (preferably pale yellow), and am going to tell them that since it is October, if they want to wear a cardigan, that's fine. I plan on asking them to keep the sweater colors to either white or a light tan color.

Is it expecting too much to ask them to pick their own dresses? I just figured that this way, they could find something in their own budget, and can wear something that they are comfortable with as all three of my girls have different body types. However, I feel it could be stressful for them having to go out searching for a dress for someone else's bridal party!

Also, for some reason I feel guilty limiting their sweater colors (if they choose to wear them). Am I just being paranoid?

Gabrielle76

I think you're being paranoid.  You're letting them pick something that is there style, and there budget. As for the cardigan, you're not exactly asking they stick to an obscure color, white and light tan cardigans abound! 

larnen

I don't think you are being unreasonable, but I am doing the same thing only with red dresses.  

pockysquirrel

I did this (the results are in my sig) because I couldn't fathom finding one dress that would look good on all of my girls. They were quite happy about getting to pick something that suited them and that they felt comfortable in.

Regarding the cardigans, if you feel you're being too limiting, maybe you could give them the option of wearing a similarly colored wrap or pashmina too. That way if somebody wants to have something to keep warm but doesn't want to get a cardigan, they have another choice. Plus pashminas are easy to find in a variety of colors and can be pretty darn cheap depending on what brand and fabric you go with.

Avion22

I think you are being perfectly reasonable -- you are giving them a wide range to pick from.  You can't get much more lenient than "Buy a dress you like. Wear yellow."  I don't think your cardigan colors are too limiting either.   

BTW, I LOVE the mismatched bridesmaid look. I think everything is going to look awesome:-)

expats14

I got the option to pick my bridesmaid dress once out of the five weddings in which I've been a BM.  That bride was the least bridezillaish out of everyone.  She sent out an e-mail of what she expected from us along with a few suggestions from different retailers but made it clear that those were not dresses that we had to buy, just guidelines. 

Out of all of the weddings I've been in, she was the most fun to work with, and the most reasonable.  And there was ZERO resentment or drama over any bridesmaid duties at any point during the wedding planning process. 

JoeAnne2013

I say allow them to pick their own dresses but from a specifc retailer such as DB or Alfred Angelo which will give them a little bit more freedom but still have them stay within some guidelines, the dresses will also match better in color.

Also I don't think its wrong for you to ask them to wear a specific color cardigan, I think you should tell them just white cardigans though, the tan will clash with the color of the dress.

Kristen627

I did this with orange dresses and love every one of them! My only suggestion is to set a deadline for them to purchase; because I was so chill, my bridesmaids were really chill about finding them, and I had a mini freak-out about them looking good together. My girls understood, bought dresses, and will look awesome.

ShannonEM

The first time I was in a wedding, the bride picked a dress and we all matched.  This was nice and easy.

I was just recently in a wedding where we all went to davids bridal and the bride gave us the fabric, colour and length and then we picked one of the different options meeting those criteria.  It was great and we all found something to fit our different shapes, and was not too much effort.

I was in a wedding a couple years ago with very generic guidelines.  Ie. "Anything you want, just some shade of blue".  None of us wore traditional "bridesmaid dresses". I personally found it was just too open ended and I was so stressed out that I'd pick something that wouldn't match the other bridesmaids, etc.  It took forever but I finally found something.  I have not ever worn the dress again, so as far as I'm concerned it is the same as my other bridesmaid dresses, but was way more stress and effort.  

I personally think going with a bridemsaid dress line, such as DB or another one, and then letting your bridesmaids decide within a set number of options is the best option. 

Kris012

I gave my BP a color and length  and sent them to DB to pick whichever style they each liked.