Attire & Accessories Forum

Maid of Honour lives across the country...

...so my question is, since she can't be there when we choose her dress, should I get her measurements first, buy the dress for her, send it to her, and let her do the fittings?  If so, when?  My wedding is one year from now.  Thank you!!!

Re: Maid of Honour lives across the country...

  • I think you can ask her what is easiest for her.   It would be nice if she could go try on the dress you choose wherever she lives -- so she could order it herself with her measurements, then it will be shipped to where she lives.  

    If you haven't already, you might get her input on dresses before you go shopping to see what styles she prefers (and definitely her budget, unless you plan on paying).   Maybe you could even try to text her photos or even skype her if you find something you like, to get her input.
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  • msuprincess04msuprincess04 member
    5 Love Its First Answer Name Dropper First Comment
    edited July 2012
    I've been the BM who lived across the country. The bride took another girlfriend with her shopping and none of the other BM went. However, we were each individually asked what our budget was and what styles we preferred. In the end, the bride picked a dress that made everyone look like they had hourglass figures. I only saw the dress in pictures and though I had the style number, I never went out to try it on. It was nice to have that option though. I went to a local tailor and had my measurements taken and called in the order at her store (since they had free alterations). I was fitted over a holiday when I went home to visit family and the bride picked it up for me before the wedding.

    It's really not that difficult to be an out of town BM. I suggest these things:

    1) ask her what her budget is. Stay within it. No compromises.
    2) ask her if there's a style she really prefers or anything she really doesn't like. I said absolutely no spaghetti straps. She picked a strapless dress with a sweetheart neckline.
    3) pick a dress, or, even easier, pick a color, fabric, length, and designer and let your girl pick the dress that works for her.
    4) give her time to pick out/try on the dress and get her opinion, give her a deadline
    5) if she agrees to the dress, then great, ask her if she wants to order it at your shop or hers and give her a deadline on the last possible date to have it ordered at your shop. The end. :)
    "There is always some madness in love. But there is also always some reason in madness." -Friedrich Nietzsche, "On Reading and Writing"
  • My bridesmaids are ALL out of town save one.  To save my sanity, I just told them all "Hey, you don't want to be stuck with a dress you didn't pick and don't like, I don't want to try to coordinate people across the entirity of the USA.  Here's the color, here's the length, pick whatever makes you look awesome."

    My bridesmaids love me for it, and I love that they'll be able to wear their picks after the wedding, because they chose and like their dresses.  Not to mention that they have different body shapes, and no single dress would make them all look their best.    And because they are dress shopping for themselves, they worry about their measurements, costs, etc.

    Everyone wins.
    Don't make me mobilize OffensiveKitten

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  • I have out of town BM as well.. im afraid if i just give them a COLOR..l they will turn out to be differnt colors because im assuming not every designer has the same shade. so is it best to specify a designer and a color and then let them pick?? 
  • Thank you ladies!!!!  She's seen a pic of the ideal dress style/colour I'd like to find and she likes it... they all do... any idea on when we should purchase them?  
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_attire-accessories_maid-of-honour-lives-across-the-country?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:15Discussion:01fc56a5-8897-423e-80b0-9c9d62aabd80Post:64d440fd-cf94-47ee-9ab1-195e1d2ebe68">Re: Maid of Honour lives across the country...</a>:
    [QUOTE]I have out of town BM as well.. im afraid if i just give them a COLOR..l they will turn out to be differnt colors because im assuming not every designer has the same shade. so is it best to specify a designer and a color and then let them pick?? 
    Posted by bpell0402[/QUOTE]


    Good question!  I worried about this as well, so I went to Dessy.com and picked my favorite color, then ordered their swatches.   Once I got ahold of the swatches in that color, I mailed it to the bridesmaids.

    Everyone got one and had something physical to shop with, or just used Dessy (they have a huge dress selection!).
    Don't make me mobilize OffensiveKitten

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    Anniversary

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