Dress & MOB issues -- please help!

gordonjr85

I found my dress and love the way it makes me feel however my mother likes another one that I tried on.  I am not paying for it my mother is. It is her only contribution to my wedding costs but a big one at that.  We started our budget at $500 - $1000 and my dress hits at $1200 (but its half off from original $2400 cause I found it at a trunk show). My question is how much should her opinion affect my dress buying decision? I understand that obviously the price of it needs to be ok'd by her but when the dress she wants me to get is the same price as the dress I love I cant see myself backing down from saying that "its my wedding and this is the dress I see wearing on that day".
Please help, Thank you!
Stressed

daubachsgirl23

If your mother is paying for the dress, you should stick to her budget.  Alternatively, you could pay the difference between your mother's budget and your dress.  If you're not willing to do that, you'll have to keep looking for a dress within your mother's budget.

Maggie0829

Unfortunately money comes with strings.  It seems that your Mom would be ok going over budget for the dress she likes but not the one you love.  I feel that with the wedding dress, this is the one time that the only person who should make the final decision is the bride since she has to wear it, but some Mom's/parents don't feel that way.  They feel that because they are buying it they better like it just the same if not more then the bride.

I would tell your Mom that you appreciate her input but that you love the X dress.  Let her know that you will be happy to make up the difference so that she won't be going over budget.  If she says that she won't buy that dress because she doesn't like it well 1) you have a very controlling Mother and 2) you are going to have to start looking for something that you can afford on your own.

QueerFemme

I think you should have the dress you want, as long as it is in your mother's budget, or you are willing to pay the difference.  As far as how much her opinion matters, I think you can take it into consideration, but ultimately, buy what makes you feel the best.  And just be honest with her.  "Mom. I value your opinion, and I do like the dress you picked out, but this one just makes me feel so much more beautiful.  I see myself marrying Johnnie in THIS dress, not the other one". 

calibr8te

I agree with Maggie. My mother also paid for my dress as her only contribution to the wedding, and even though she really wanted me to wear something totally blingy and over the top, after trying on about 60 dresses at different stores, she began to see that what she wanted to see me in , gave me the most sour of faces. So she finally realized that being that its MY wedding day, its how I feel in a dress and how happy that it makes me that should be the clear choice for her.
When we finally found my dress, and she saw me bouncing around all giggly in it, she realized that it was in fact the clear winner for me as a bride.

Hopefully your mother will come to see that on her own as well.

gordonjr85

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_attire-accessories_dress-mob-issues-please-help?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:15Discussion:05c6ccd7-9383-4471-8d38-07deefe491a2Post:cf62288a-fbf3-4f27-ab41-f80ed83e7285">Re: Dress & MOB issues -- please help!</a>:
[QUOTE]Unfortunately money comes with strings.  It seems that your Mom would be ok going over budget for the dress she likes but not the one you love.  I feel that with the wedding dress, this is the one time that the only person who should make the final decision is the bride since she has to wear it, but some Mom's/parents don't feel that way.  They feel that because they are buying it they better like it just the same if not more then the bride. I would tell your Mom that you appreciate her input but that you love the X dress.  Let her know that you will be happy to make up the difference so that she won't be going over budget.  If she says that she won't buy that dress because she doesn't like it well 1) you have a very controlling Mother and 2) you are going to have to start looking for something that you can afford on your own.
Posted by Maggie0829[/QUOTE]

<div>Such great advice thank you Maggie. Yes I told her I would cover the difference because I feel bad enough that she is even buying the dress since she is tight on income.  </div><div>I will definitely use your suggestions and let her know its not a disagreement just different intrests.</div><div>Thank you so very much!</div>

gordonjr85

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_attire-accessories_dress-mob-issues-please-help?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:15Discussion:05c6ccd7-9383-4471-8d38-07deefe491a2Post:59e6cd73-96c7-4b53-afcd-10633961f5b6">Re: Dress & MOB issues -- please help!</a>:
[QUOTE]I think you should have the dress you want, as long as it is in your mother's budget, or you are willing to pay the difference.  As far as how much her opinion matters, I think you can take it into consideration, but ultimately, buy what makes you feel the best.  And just be honest with her.  "Mom. I value your opinion, and I do like the dress you picked out, but this one just makes me feel so much more beautiful.  I see myself marrying Johnnie in THIS dress, not the other one". 
Posted by cmgilpin[/QUOTE]

<div>CMGILPIN - you worded it so perfectly :) mind if I use that verbatim haha. Well I will have to change my fiances name hehe but its perfect thank you!</div>

gordonjr85

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_attire-accessories_dress-mob-issues-please-help?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:15Discussion:05c6ccd7-9383-4471-8d38-07deefe491a2Post:69b69e5c-e328-419a-9611-4df1ea5fc91c">Re: Dress & MOB issues -- please help!</a>:
[QUOTE]I agree with Maggie. My mother also paid for my dress as her only contribution to the wedding, and even though she really wanted me to wear something totally blingy and over the top, after trying on about 60 dresses at different stores, she began to see that what she wanted to see me in , gave me the most sour of faces. So she finally realized that being that its MY wedding day, its how I feel in a dress and how happy that it makes me that should be the clear choice for her. When we finally found my dress, and she saw me bouncing around all giggly in it, she realized that it was in fact the clear winner for me as a bride. Hopefully your mother will come to see that on her own as well.
Posted by calibr8te[/QUOTE]

<div>Thank you calibr8te.  I take your advice in high regard seeing as you have been in the same situation. I will show her how much I love it and hopefully she will agree. its always different when you see the dress in person than on camera.</div><div>Thanks again.</div>