Feeling guilty

ashleighpaige24

So we found the bridesmaid dress that we went to go with and started talking about shoes to go with the dress.

The dress by itself is 185 and the shoes we like are 65.  To me, this seems like a lot to ask of someone.  I suggested the idea of giving them guidelines (like a strappy silver heel no taller than 2 inches) which would still make them look uniform but would allow them to go shop and find shoes within their budget.  My mom hated this idea and said that because the dresses are short, all the shoes should be uniform.

I'm not super worried about them all being exactly the same - as long as they're the same general style and color I don't see why that would matter.  

I don't want to ask too much of my girls (especially since one is my sister in law who is getting married 2 months after me and is having to pay for most of her wedding by herself)

Help!! what should I do?

acarreir

Have you tried talking to your girls and seeing what they are comfortable with spending? i think short dresses are a great way to show off amazing shoes. Give the girls a choice on the type of shoe...just make sure they have a color to stay with. My cousin got married this summer and the girls wore just above the knee dresses in a deep purple and the shoes were silver. Each girl had a different type of show and it totally worked! Hope that helped!

femme55

The trend is away from everything being matchy-matchy.  The girls don't need to have the exact same shoes, esp if they are already spending $185 on a dress.  I think your guidelines of any strappy silver midheel is acceptable.

ashleighpaige24

I like the idea of everyone having something different because it allows them to wear what they are comfortable with and show off their style.  My mom is worried that one of the girls will show up in something completely different but I told her that's why you have guidelines. 

also it lets them shop sales - who knows, maybe one of the girls will hit a clearance sale and find shoes for 10 dollars!! I want to give them that option

AddieCake

My girls wore short dresses, and I have no idea what their shoes looked like. I even see them in my sig pic every day and still couldn't tell you. 

If you (or your mom) insist they wear the same shoe, you need to pay for them.

mcda04

All of my girls wore different shoes. Completely different from one another's too, they were all black but one was in patent leather pumps, the other in satin black strappy sandal type heels, one in a very short black leather heel and the other two, I don't remember. It's not a big deal. give them the color and let them pick whatever they want.

Maggie0829

Did you ask each girl their budget for a dress privately?  If not then you need to.  Whichever budget is the lowest is the price point that you need to to stick with.

If you want them all to wear matching shoes then you need to pay for them.  Honestly, I would just tell them to buy a pair of silver shoes.  Don't limit the height or style.  Shoes really are a personal preference and what one person may be comfortable in another person may want to kill someone.  As for your Mom, ignore her.

Honestly, even with short dresses, no one will pay much attention to what is on your BMs feet.  And many times with shoes, this gives the girls a chance to throw in their own sense of style into their attire.  My BMs wore silver shoes and it was funny to see the different style they preferred...my sister wore a low satin sandal while my friend wore a 4 inch stilleto strappy sandal with lots of glitter.

BostonGIrl4732

Unless your mom wants to pay for all of these shoes, it's really not her call.

QueerFemme

Agree with everyone else. If you (or your mom) want a specific shoe, you need to pay for them.   I honestly think $185.00 is QUITE high for a BM dress, especially since there will likely be necessary alterations.    I agree with PPs, I hope you asked the BMs their budget before you selected that dress.

B2Z728

I'm going to assume you already asked for their budgets and this is the dress you guys like. My bridesmaids' dresses were also about $180 and knee length. I felt similar to you in that even though they gave me their budgets, I still felt guilty about the cost. I told them to pick any silver shoe that liked, that fit the formality of the dress. Each of them chose different shoes, in varying shades of silver from dark to light, some sparkly, some not, and had different heel heights. I can promise you that it looked great and each of them were comfortable. Assuming your mom is not a bridesmaid, you don't really have to cater to her opinion of bridesmaids' shoes. It's really such a minor thing that she will have to get over. Go with your initial thought and have them wear what they like.