Groomswoman attire

KrynnerBear

Me and my groom are both having the opposite sex in our lines. His friend that he has choosen wants to wear a full on suit...which I really don't want and she's unwilling to wear a dress...(or so I've heard) How do I compormise with her so we're both happy??

monkeysip

Let her wear what she wants?

You just don't like the look of a woman's suit?  Can it be a more feminine one with a pretty blouse underneath?  There are a lot of pretty women's suits that are more shapely.

Either way, if she doesn't like skirts or dresses, I wouldn't make her wear one.  Maybe a cute pair of dressy slacks, a blouse, and a little cardigan or something. 

calliopeia2013

You let her wear what she wants (assuming it's an appropriate level of formality for the wedding).  Please let people dress to suit the gender presentation they prefer.

Why do you have a problem with her wearing a suit?

dewingedpixie

We will have the same dilema. If the tuxedo company does not have women's cut suits I'm going to take this groomswoman out and help her find a suit at the limited or express. We'll use a green shirt matching the vests of the grooms men under the suit, or get her a vest and a white shirt. She'll also get a purple corsage like the men. The women will be dressed in purple .


B

HobokensFury

My friend is have her groomswoman wear the same dress as the bridesmaids. She's just standing on the groom's side.

[Deleted User]

I'd talk to her to make sure that's really what you want and see what compromise you two can work out.

Jen6862

Would she be open to a long black dress to match the suits/tuxes? Does she not wear dresses in general or she just doesn't want to for this occaision?

KrynnerBear

I think it just looks almost trashy to have girl dressed as a guy (no offence to anyone). She wants to do it because it would be funny kind of thing, not because that's what she's comfortable with. My mom had a great point, it's my wedding photos I'm going to be looking back on and I don't know if I really want a girl in a big tux. I'm a girly girl and it just doesn't seem right for the type of wedding I'm having.

calliopeia2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_attire-accessories_groomswoman-attire?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:15Discussion:0db20bc8-b790-47c0-ad4a-4849925f7689Post:fe8bafcd-e908-4835-a544-e8f8574a7a28">Re: Groomswoman attire</a>:
[QUOTE]<strong>I think it just looks almost trashy to have girl dressed as a guy (no offence to anyone)</strong>. She wants to do it because it would be funny kind of thing, not because that's what she's comfortable with. My mom had a great point, it's my wedding photos I'm going to be looking back on and I don't know if I really want a girl in a big tux. I'm a girly girl and it just doesn't seem right for the type of wedding I'm having.
Posted by KrynnerBear[/QUOTE]

So, just so you know, that is really, really, incredibly offensive, whether you intend it to be or not.  But I'm pretty sure you know it's offensive, because you knew that you needed to say "no offense."  Life hint: Saying really offensive things to people with "no offense" tagged on doesn't actually make them any less offensive, nor does it give you free rein to be a jerk to people.  (Imagine, e.g., going up to someone and saying 'I think you're really ugly!  No offense!"  Still offensive.  Etc.)

If you are 100% sure that she just wants to do it as a joke ("teehee, I'm being a groomslady so I wanna wear a suit") rather than because she doesn't feel comfortable in dresses, I don't think it would be wrong of you to ask her to wear a dress.  But I still don't see what's wrong with having her wear a women's suit.  And also, shouldn't your FI be talking to her about it, not you, since she's his groomswoman, and I assume therefore closer to him than you?  What does he think she should wear?

KrynnerBear

I'm allowed to have my opinion and for you to call me out like that is just as offensive. I didn't mean it in a rude or consending or whatever offensive way you procieved it. Also, your defination of "trashy" is obvoiusly totally different from mine. What I ment was I don't like how a guys suit looks on a girl and it's not the look I'm going for in my wedding. I said no offence becuase everyone has a different opinion and I honestly did not want to offend anyone. There's some people that agree with me and some that agree with you and I felt that was a way to keep the peace. We all have different ideas and such. Again, I ment no harm to anyone, I just wanted help with a wedding problem I was having.

QueerFemme

A properly fitted/tailored tuxedo or suit can and does look perfectly fine on a female body.  Asking someone to wear a dress when they clearly don't want to, is rude.  If she is in your grooms party, you don't really get a "say" over what she wears.   He does.  If he is ok with her wearing a tux or a suit, you are going to need to get over it.   I understand that it isn't the look you are going for in "your wedding"... but, it's his wedding too.

QueerFemme

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_attire-accessories_groomswoman-attire?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:15Discussion:0db20bc8-b790-47c0-ad4a-4849925f7689Post:fe8bafcd-e908-4835-a544-e8f8574a7a28">Re: Groomswoman attire</a>:
[QUOTE]I I'm a girly girl and it just doesn't seem right for the type of wedding I'm having.
Posted by KrynnerBear[/QUOTE]

Also....  I'm not sure what YOU being a girly girl has to do with what SHE is wearing.  She isn't asking you to get married in a tux, right?