Attire & Accessories Forum
Options

FI picked out wedding rings and I hate mine

I'm between a rock and a hard place. FI really wanted matte tungsten wedding rings and they came in yesterday. He had showed me some pictures online and they looked neat in the pictures, but when I put it on... I don't know. It looks like a ring of black pvc pipe to me. Part of the problem is that it's too big and doesn't sit right, which is not his fault since it's the size I told him, but I just don't know that I like it either way. FI is crushed and wants to take it back, and I feel like I'm damned if I do and damned if I don't.

Re: FI picked out wedding rings and I hate mine

  • Options
  • Options
    This is the person you are spending the rest of your life, and this is the one thing you may never take off again.

    Be kind, but honest, and get something you like.
  • Options
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_attire-accessories_fi-picked-out-wedding-rings-and-i-hate-mine?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:15Discussion:0f93ffe1-abcc-4be4-9414-a3c57f281ec6Post:e28dc614-d62f-4950-a706-c26ed1a4cae0">Re: FI picked out wedding rings and I hate mine</a>:
    [QUOTE]This is the person you are spending the rest of your life, and this is the one thing you may never take off again. Be kind, but honest, and get something you like.
    Posted by ElisabethJoanne[/QUOTE]

    I agree with this.

    I don't think it was very fair that your FI picked your wedding band.  Like PP said, you are the one who has to wear it for the rest of your life.  Do you really want to wear something that you hate until you die?

    I believe that with wedding bands, if you want matching one's, then you need to compromise, but I am a huge believer that you should have a ring that suits your style while your FI has a ring that suits his.

  • Options
    Did he show you the pics before he ordered? I wouldn't find that upsetting as in he picked them without your knowledge; it's just possible they looked differently online like you said. It WOULD bother me if he picked out the rings, ordered them, and THEN showed you what he ordered.

    Either way, I would just say, "H, my ring doesn't look the same in person as it did online and I'm not crazy about how it lays on my finger. I really think I'd like to look for a different ring." You should be able to be honest with him.


    Image and video hosting by TinyPic

    Vacation
  • Options
    Yes, he showed me pictures of the style he wanted first, and then he ordered them from a local jeweler a few days ago. I told him that if we could just get it a size down and maybe a little narrower that that would probably be fine but he still seems to be taking it kind of hard.
  • Options
    EK2013EK2013 member
    5 Love Its First Comment First Anniversary
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_attire-accessories_fi-picked-out-wedding-rings-and-i-hate-mine?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:15Discussion:0f93ffe1-abcc-4be4-9414-a3c57f281ec6Post:28f70afa-d670-4354-b0c7-61443371de9c">Re:FI picked out wedding rings and I hate mine</a>:
    [QUOTE]Yes, he showed me pictures of the style he wanted first, and then he ordered them from a local jeweler a few days ago. I told him that if we could just get it a size down and maybe a little narrower that that would probably be fine but he still seems to be taking it kind of hard.
    Posted by hamsterdance[/QUOTE]

    <div>Did you say that you wanted a matching one? (Do you want a matching one?)</div><div>
    </div><div>My FI's ring is 6mm. Mine is 2mm. There are other ways that they "match," but 6mm is really wide on his finger, and would absolutely engulf mine!</div>
  • Options
    In Response to Re:FI picked out wedding rings and I hate mine:[QUOTE]Yes, he showed me pictures of the style he wanted first, and then he ordered them from a local jeweler a few days ago. I told him that if we could just get it a size down and maybe a little narrower that that would
    probably be fine but he still seems to be taking it kind of hard. Posted by hamsterdance[/QUOTE]
    You have 2 problems: a ring problem and a FI problem. The ring problem is simply that the item was not as pictured. It happens so much it is a standard check box on return forms. I'm not sure if your Fi is upset at him self For making a bad decision or if his feelings are hurt because you don't like them. If it's the former reassure him that what arrived simply was not what you expected. If it's the latter, then I don't look forward to meeting you at every gift giving location for the rest of your life then I don't look forward to being you at every gift giving location for the rest of your life.
    In general jewelry is hard to buy with out seeing it in person.
  • Options
    edited July 2012
    The picture link isn't working for me, but do you like that style ring at all? Even if you got one that is a different size, do you like this type of ring? I mean you'll be wearing it for a long while, and I think you should like your wedding band. Do you want matching bands or was that FI's idea?

    He got to pick a ring he loved; you should get to pick one you love. I would just tell him, "It was thoughtful of you to find us matching rings and I intiailly liked the idea, but I am just not in love with this ring. I would really prefer to go out (or online) and look at some other styles for me." Frankly, if he is mad about that, I think that's sort of ridiculous. You didn't tell him what kind of ring he should get.


    Image and video hosting by TinyPic

    Vacation
  • Options
    He's not angry about it. He's just kind of fragile in general. I'm not really a jewelry person, and I'm not usually picky about this kind of thing either. I honestly didn't expect to not like it. It's hard for me to even know what exactly I don't like about it.
  • Options
    Ditto pp's to emphasize with him that you appreciate his efforts and it's nothing personal towards him, but you'd like to exchange yours because it wasn't what you expected after seeing the picture.  Maybe it will help him to feel better to swap it out to make you happy.  If he still likes his matte Tungsten ring, the bands don't have to match.
    Whoever said it was supposed to be happily ever after is a big fat liar.
  • Options
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_attire-accessories_fi-picked-out-wedding-rings-and-i-hate-mine?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:15Discussion:0f93ffe1-abcc-4be4-9414-a3c57f281ec6Post:07aea089-67a7-4181-9772-32683618390c">Re:FI picked out wedding rings and I hate mine</a>:
    [QUOTE]He's not angry about it. He's just kind of fragile in general. I'm not really a jewelry person, and I'm not usually picky about this kind of thing either. I honestly didn't expect to not like it. It's hard for me to even know what exactly I don't like about it.
    Posted by hamsterdance[/QUOTE]



    I think many guys are like that. My FI was whimpering when I got my ring resized.
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards