How do I choose?

metalkp

Ok girls, I'm hoping you can help me out or give me some advice. When I started this search I said to myself, I am not going to worry about finding "the one." I am never going to start crying when I see a dress or just "know" when I put it on, because that's just not me. I am not emotional and that's not how I shop. I have to try everything on before I can decide what is the best of everything I've seen for the best value. Well several months later I've found 2 really great dresses that I am having trouble deciding between. The problem is I don't "love" either one of them and I have a few reservations about each one. One was my first choice and I knew I wanted it from the first time I saw it in a magazine. It looks great on me too but there are a few tiny details I like but wish were different. It's also on the high end of my price range, and also, the people I brought with me seemed kind of, well, underwhelmed, when they saw me in it even though they said it was beautiful. I guess I was disappointed, but it might have just been the sample which was a different color, didn't fit me right and was a little worn. But when I see a pic of it, I always say "yup that's it." The bottom line is that it looks killer in pictures, but so far, maybe not totally wow in person?The second one is cheap - like half the price of the first. I love the details and it looks killer on me. It's much more "bridal" that the other one. My mom and my sister basically melted when they saw me in this one. The problem is that it photographs horribly. I took many pictures and even the runway picture the designer sent me looks bad. So everyone who only sees a pic of it doesn't like it at all, but those who've seen it in person are amazed how good it looks. Also, just from seeing the picture, my fiance doesn't like it and loves the first dress, and he's probably the most important person. In the end these dresses are both great. Like I said I never expected any lightening bolts and I am totally cool with wearing an awesome dress that looks good but doesn't make me cry or anything. And If I'm so unsure, sometimes I think I should just go with the cheap one. But I guess I do feel a little disappointed that I didn't have that reaction that every other bride out there seems to have, and that I'm so unsure. I know you ladies will probably tell me to keep looking and I will just "know," but like I said I just don't think I fit into that mold. I've also been to almost every salon in my city, been to several sample sales, and have seen a LOT of the dresses out there right now. They are starting to show me the same things I've already seen. I don't actually like that many dresses. I suppose I have a specific taste that is not common. I just feel like that "lightening bolt" dress might not exist for me. Plus as you all know, we are working on a schedule and I need to order something soon. So sorry this is so long! If you've read this far...what do you think? Thanks.

dreamer1125

Can we see pictures of you in both dresses? It's really hard to have an opinion without having seen them on you.

Brie2010

Keep looking. I never thought I would have that reaction and looked for dresses for a long time.   But, eventually, I decided just to go to one last store and found it.  I didn't fall over and sob or anything, it all just kind of fit.I'd also suggest trying on something completely the opposite of what you think you want.  I wanted satin, pleating, no embellishments, and tried those on over and over again trying to find the right one...and wound up with a beaded lace gown.  It was the first time I'd tried on anything even remotely like it, and it was perfect.  Go way outside your comfort zone and something new might click.

Spim7

If you really like the 1st dress accept for a few details, see if you can have those details changed. Often times you can make requests to have something left off or added to your dress for minimal cost. It could make all the difference and get rid of any apprehension you might have.

AngelaN611

I had a pretty similar situation.  I was spending weekend after weekend dress shopping and was just feeling underwhelmed.  I, too, expected that lightening bolt, fall to your knees sobbing kind of moment, but it never happened.  I eventually narrowed it down to three, but couldn't decide because I was overthinking it way too much.  I thought the decision would be made for me because one dress would just knock my head off and everyone in the room would start jumping and sobbing. . . but that truly is just not me.   My mom and aunt helped me realize that it isn't about the to the dress, but how I feel in the dress -- and that it is not what other people will think of the dress, but what I think about it.  So, I picked the dress that made me feel the most beautiful while still like me, and I didn't sob or scream or any of that.  And, there was a little detail I didn't like, so now I get to pick out some beaded trim that the seamstress is going to add, so I feel like I get to make the dress more "mine" which is so cool!  As a pp said, you can always make little changes to the dress.So, my advice to you is to quiet all of the little voices and expectations of everyone else and pick a dress that makes you feel your most beautiful and awesome!Good luck!

metalkp

Normal 0 false false false MicrosoftInternetExplorer4 /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; mso-para-margin:0in; mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:10.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-ansi-language:#0400; mso-fareast-language:#0400; mso-bidi-language:#0400;} Thanks for the advice. I am going to a trunk show for the designer of the first dress, and I am hoping there will be some opportunity to find out if I can change a few small things. But unless you have a real design flair it's pretty hard to tell if your ideas will "go" with the rest of the dress. Like sometimes I think, the designer made it like this for a reason, you know? Like maybe a bow here or some buttons there might look silly, and you won't get to see until it's finished. But we'll see. Are there some designers that are unwilling to make changes or is this pretty standard?Angela, your situation sounds just like mine and I am really glad to hear that the decision is not so cut and dry for everyone. Dreamer, I would post pics but I have no idea how I would go about uploading pics on a post. I attempted to do this on my profile but don't think that worked either.

TheFutureMrsM-LoungingBeachside

I would keep shopping honestly.  I'm not an emotional shopper either so when I found my dress I didn't fall over sobbing- but I definitely couldn't stop smiling and I knew just from how I felt that it was it.  I was too comfortable in it to choose something else!

On_Day_405_I_Said_Yes

Have you considered having your dress designed and made specifically for you?  There's a lot of amazing seamstresses out there.  Or you could always find a basic dress you like and have alternations made that match your style.    

stapletond

Keep shopping.  I looked for 4 months and went to over 10 bridal shops.  I was starting to give up.  I had narrowed down my choices to 2 dresses, but still couldn't make a decision because there was something missing with both.  Just this Wednesday, I tried on "the" dress.  I never thought I'd get emotional, but I looooved the way the dress fit my body (even though the sample was small) and I welled up.  I knew it was the one!  I purchased it on Friday!You will find it!