Serious doubts (kinda long, sorry)

wbiggs

Sorry, some back story:I bought my dress in March just over a year away from my March 20th wedding.  My family lives about six hours away so we made plans for my mom and sister to come down here to look at dresses.  I had my mom, sister, aunt, grandmother, and FMIL and FSIL with me (sis and FSIL are both bridesmaids so I figured we'd have them try on dresses as well).  I hadn't planned on finding a dress that night and ended up trying on three dresses.  The second wasn't a possibility since it wasn't flattering on me at all, and I really thought #3 could have been it.  I tried on #1 again and when I came out everyone except the sisters started crying.  People with other brides were stopping and coming around to look at me and even salesgirls were stopping to stare.  But... I never really felt that "this is the one" moment.  Yeah, it was pretty, flattering, and pretty unique for today's weddings and my family obviously thought it was the one, but I just can't get on board.  I just figured I was the type of girl who wouldn't have that teary moment for myself so went with my family's reaction.Here's the problem: I'd planned on buying the dress myself, but while I was in the dressing room changing back into my normal clothes, my mom went up to the front and ended up paying for it.  I've had the dress since late March and I've tried it on repeatedly, but I just can't get excited.  Honestly, it isn't something I pictured myself getting married in.  I've also lost quite a bit of weight since then so its really big on me and I don't think it will fit right after alterations (my body shape has actually changed since I tried it on) or be nearly as flattering.  If I'd paid for the dress myself, I would probably be looking for another dress right now.  I'm just worried that my mom will be unhappy since she loved the dress and she paid for it.  I have actually seen one dress (by accident, I wasn't looking around for others) and it is just beautiful.  I can't stop thinking about it.  I could see myself getting married in it.  Of course, I'd have to at least see it in person and definitely try it on.  What should I do?  Anyone have any suggestions?  BTW, my current dress is Davids Bridal T9612, champagne and ivory.

I <3 Seabass

I would tell your mom that you are having second thoughts about your dress and you want to go try on others just to make sure. If you end up liking another dress more than the dress you have now, offer your mom the money to cover the first dress so she's not out any money and purchase the new dress yourself.

vjcjenn1

Talk to your mom...I sure she thinks she buying you the dress of your dreams. Be sure she knows how much you appreciate her buying your dressBy any chance, is the new dress at David's, because I had a friend who was engaged and bought a dress ended up engaged to a different guy and wanted a new dress...they allowed her to exchange it.

vjcjenn1

I did just look at the dress...it is gorgeous...and if you google it, there are lots of people looking to buy one

Pwitty2005

Before you risk upsetting your mom, go try on a couple dresses. I also find it hard to believe that I will have that teary, magical moment (from getting married- yes, but not from trying on a dress). If you try on a few and find that magical moment (or at least a dress that you love), then talk to your mom. Be sure to explain how much you love and appreciate it, but I would definitely emphasize how it just doesnt fit and hopefully you can still exchange it at DB! Good Luck -

kjane12

I just wanted to let you know that your current dress is LOVELY.  But I know how you feel.  What is the other dress you have your eyes on? 

joebeth22

It's very pretty and you're right to be concerned about mom's feelings.. and pocket book, BUT, it's you day (not to sound bridezilla-ish)... so i really like the suggestion about going to try on other gowns -- who knows, you might like the original one best after cheating on it a bit (hehe) -- but if you don't and you do find the ONE, then explain it to mom, try to pay her back (over time?) and get the new one.

ashleynchildress

if you decide on something else i googled the dress and found more than a few posts of people looking for this dress to buy. its your day you have to live with it the rest of your life get what ur heart wants 

wbiggs

Thank you all for the great suggestions.  My current one is gorgeous and I know so, but I just have a very strong feeling that it isn't the one for me and I'm afraid I jumped the gun in buying it.  I do plan on going and trying on a few to get ideas of what I'd rather have and hopefully to find the one for me, try to find someone selling it for less somewhere online, and then not make a move with the current one until I'm absolutely positive it isn't the one.  With just under six months to the wedding I don't want to make another move that I will regret.  I do know I want a champagne and ivory lace dress, more than likely strapless, and love Jim Hjelm.  I was even thinking about having one custom made.  Is it too late? 

vjcjenn1

too late for a custom made dress...if you're not too late you are darn close to it