Frustrating Consultation!

jeanacorina

Well, I visited another bridal shop today... it was my second appointment to try on dresses and I was already pretty sure I'd found MY dress at the first place a couple of weeks ago, but I thought I better try some others on... just in case.It was all going fine, none of the dresses were leagues better than the favorite from the last shop. My budget is $1,000 and that was one of the first things I told the consultant.The experience was WAY different than the first time. This girl didn't ask my dress size. I wear about a 14 in "wedding dress" size... and she was trying to squeeze me into 8's. I even told her after the first couple that I wear a 14, but they carried mostly smaller (normal) sizes. It was awful. I am VERY confortable with my body and my shape, I love my hips and butt! But a person can only take "Okay, I'm going to need someone to help me zip you up" so many times before they start feeling a little self-conscious.About halfway into the appointment, she pulled a lace dress for me to try. I'd never tried lace, so I thought "Sure, why not?" It was beautiful! It really gave my first favorite a run for its money. I wasn't sure which I liked better, but the lace was the first thing to even compare. I tried on veils with it and we talked about what alterations it would need.Then we went back in the dressing room and she told me it was $1500.WHAT THE HELL.She's like "I'm so sorry! Is that too much?"I am so frustrated because YES that is too much, and I told her so. She tried to find something similar, but nothing really did the trick and I was so annoyed.I want to believe that she didn't know the price to start with, but it was a small boutique and she said she'd been working there for a couple of years. Chances are she did... and thought for the "right dress" $500 extra wouldn't be too much. Commission is a powerful motivator.Add to that alterations for a lace dress and I can only imagine!My bubble is so busted. I am going to make another appointment with the first shop to try on the dress I loved before. But I just had such a crappy experience today that I'm feeling discouraged... grr. Last time I tried on dresses, everything made me feel beautiful and happy with myself (of course, they had sizes comparable to mine and stayed within the budget I gave them). This time? Not so much.Just needed to vent, really.

Brie2010

Sometimes, I found, you can use situations like this as leverage.  I went into a bridal store and told them my budget was $1500.  They brought me a dress that was slightly above budget because they thought I'd like it, and I did.  When I was talking about getting it (I didn't end up buying it), I was able to use "well, I told you my budget was X.  How can you help me make this more realistic for me?"  They were able to knock the price of the dress into my range, and throw in a veil for free.  There's no shame in bargaining.And relax about the sizing.  Most bridal shops carry one sample size of a gown, usually about a street size 8.  They can't carry it in every size--it's just not cost effective.  Don't blame the girl who was bringing them to you--that's just how it works.  You can generally get an idea of the dress from the sample, and then order it in your size.   The only stores that carry multiple sizes of the same dress are places like David's Bridal--don't worry!

[Deleted User]

I would agree with one thing.  I think the sizes that the particular salon you went to do not reflect any national average.  They may however reflect a local average.The girl helping you had nothing to do with the sizes the samples were chosen in, she probably felt just as bad about giving you something you didn't fit in as you did.In Los Angeles, most of the floor samples I tried on were a size 10.  None of them fit properly, but the salespersons did their best to help me.I actually ended up buying my floor sample because I got it at a significant discount and the bodice is being altered as I type.Don't feel aggravated.  Remember the ones you liked from that salon.  And try to find a different salon that would have the sample in a size closer to yours.Also, I don't know why but for some reason wedding dress sizes run a little smaller than street sizes, this has been the experience of many brides on this forum.I chalk it upto alot of fashion designers being people that have issues with females--so they deliberately set up their size charts to make you feel bad before the happiest day of your life--just so they have one last two cents worth thrown at the way you view yourself.Take it with a grain of salt and move on.

Vikki2pay

Jeana, I understand your frustration about the sizes and trust me I was in the same boat. I was trying to stuff myself into those same sizes. I was frustrating and in the end it was worth it to see the correct sized dress on. As for the other matter that really was wrong of the consultant to bring over dresses that were out of your budget. They tell you not to try things on so you don't get attached to a dress that you can't afford. If you love the dress where there's a will there's a way. You could go back to the shop and argue he price. Tell them you told them your budget why did they bring you somehing higher. If that doesn't work I would check with places like RK Bridal, Jay's Bridal Pearl's Place. They migh be able to get the drss so its in your price range. Good Luck.

jeanacorina

They may however reflect a local average.I don't know, maybe... but I live in south Louisiana, and I don't see a whole lot of girls smaller than me. Most are larger. But who knows. I'm not even very big.... I just have a very pronounced hourglass shape. Apparently fancy Boutiques that get dresses from Italy and Spain just don't have much for my body type. :PI am not going to bother going back to argue the price. I don't want the dress THAT badly. Even if it were $1,000 it would still be a tough choice because the Alfred Angelo dress I originally liked is on sale for under $500. I'm just going to chalk this up to a learning experience and move on. I wasn't too keen on trying on any more dresses anyway. I should have listened to my gut and bought the first dress that made me feel like a million bucks. I am going to call that first store today and make an appointment to go try on some lace dresses and the same one I loved before.

ring_pop

Also, I don't know why but for some reason wedding dress sizes run a little smaller than street sizes, this has been the experience of many brides on this forum.I chalk it upto alot of fashion designers being people that have issues with females--so they deliberately set up their size charts to make you feel bad before the happiest day of your life--just so they have one last two cents worth thrown at the way you view yourself.This is silly. It's not a grudge against women or any kind of conspiracy.Wedding dress sizes run small because they are true to dress sizes from the turn of the century (the LAST century), when women all had their dresses tailored. Wedding dresses just haven't followed the vanity sizing trend that other clothing retailers have. A size 12 wedding dress is the same as a size 12 dress from back then; it's just that everything else has been renamed to size 8.

momofayden

Look for the dress online.  it is usually a couple hundren cheaper.

pham-plueger

You should really try bargaining! My store gave me a GREAT discount on a dress that was out of my budget. You could also ask if they could give you 15% off which could THEN go to purchasing a veil or shoes from the store... The worst they can say is 'no'! I'd definitely give that a shot

steffenfam

Do you know the designer and style # of the lace dress?  You could take that information back to the first place and see if they have something similar, at least for comparison.  Or go to a different salon.  Good luck!

swjb2010

Ring_Pop - I hadn't even considered that, but you are definitely right! Sizing in America has decidedly changed over the past few decades so that people can feel better about wearing a "smaller" size. Frankly I think American female sizing numbers are weird. Why not just size things in actual inch measurements rather than calling something a "size 8" and having that mean something completely different from designer to designer.I'm sorry that your dress experience was so frustrating, Jeana! I had the opposite problem in that I was swimming in every single sample dress they put on me. The shop ladies did their best to pull the fabric back with clips and pins, etc. but even then it can be difficult to get a good feel for what a dress will look like when it actually fits you. I definitely understand though that it's simply not practical for them to carry dresses in multiple sizes. In terms of bringing out a dress that was higher than your stated limit, I think the problem is that some people are much "softer" on their dress budget than others. I, for example, was willing to pay an extra $500 for my dream dress. So perhaps the shop lady didn't understand that $1000 was a hard limit for you. Good luck at Alfred Angelo! Sounds like you have plenty to work with over there.

hrchick72

The pp's talking about looking for the dress online or taking the designer & style number info to the place that has your fav dress is a great idea. You might be able to find the lace dress for close to the price of the Alfred Angelo. I completely understand your frustration. I went shopping for the first time last Friday. Took my bridesmaids and mom and made a whole day out of it. I was so glad my friends were there to help me in the dressing room so the consultant wasn't in there when I was mortified that the sample she brought me wouldn't fit over my hips. The most frustrating thing about the stop at that first shop was that when I made the appointment, I made a point of telling them I am a plus-size bride (18 in most wedding dresses) and asked if there was any concern about that on their part. They said everything would be fine. But I felt extremely self-conscious as I came out of the room with my back hanging out because the size 8/10/12 sample she brought wouldn't zip or the corset didn't cover. AND they didn't have any foundations for someone my size so I couldn't buy it when I got there (totally my bad for not planning that ahead of time, but I was still annoyed), so I was trying them on with my regular bra, adding to the self-consciousness. And my poor videographer! I don't know if he got much footage that he can use. David's Bridal wouldn't let him come in to my appointment there later in the day, but I wish they would have. That is the place that I tried on 20-25 gowns that ALL fit me or were a little big. They had the foundations I needed so everything looked a lot better. I found, bought, and took home my dress that day.

jeanacorina

hrchick, you reminded me of something else-- they wouldn't let us take pictures. That's totally fine on its own. I understand some places don't allow it. But I just felt down because my mom is in another state and she isn't here to see me try on wedding dresses.It just added to the somewhat uncomfortable, sad feeling because my mom wouldn't be able to see anything I tried on anyway.Just feels wrong to dress shop without my mom, but I feel better when I know she'll at least see pictures.I will look up the style number of the lace dress (my friends wrote everything down that I tried on) and see if I can find a picture to take to my next appointment. Maybe there's something very similar at half the price.

SarahSmile23

Chances are she did... and thought for the "right dress" $500 extra wouldn't be too much. I'm sure this was the case. My dream gown was $500 more than my budget, and I didn't sweat it. I just cut from the budget elsewhere and bought my dream gown.

tinydancer842

It doesn't sound like you like this salon very much. I would call around & see if other shops carry that dress & go there to try it on & check the price. You will have to deal with this salon for the next x amount of months so it's better to wait & find one u are comfortable with.

jeanacorina

Tiny, that is an EXCELLENT point. I do think there is more to this whole process than finding the RIGHT dress. Maybe it's because I was a retail manager for several years, but I expect a little more than finding a dress I'll only wear once. I want a good experience and I want to feel comfortable with my consultant.Sarah, I totally understand that some ladies feel that way, but I just can't. I set a budget because I don't want to spend a lot on the dress. I already decided to put a bigger chunk toward photography. I thought long and hard about my budget to figure out what works best for me.I'm also apparently not one of those girls who cries when they find THE dress. It's not the most important thing in the world to me. I could wear a burlap sack and be thrilled to get married to my FI. So I guess those same ol' sales tricks just don't fly in my case.She did look surprised when she apologized and asked if $1500 was too much and I said "Umm, yes. That's way too much. I can't justify buying that."You'd think I had two heads.