Attire & Accessories Forum

MOH dress... Who should choose?? Who should pay???

I'm kinda lost...  Do I have a say only if I'm the one paying?  I really don't mind paying, but like everyone I do have a budget...  Still, I want her to look fabulous in a dress that we both love.  I would feel awful to tell her that a dress is too expensive.  Any advice? 
Thanks !

Re: MOH dress... Who should choose?? Who should pay???

  • MOH pays for her own dress, but bride should pick a dress within her budget. If she can only afford a $100 dress, and you fall in love with one that's $150, then you can either choose another dress or front her the money!

    In the end, you pick the dress within her budg

    <img src="data:image/jpg;base64,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
  • Does she have financial issues that she could not pay for her own dress? Usually if you ask someone to be in your wedding, they pay for their own attire.

    I picked the color and length and my BM's picked the style. Each of the dresses came in 3 or 4 different styles so they chose the one that looked and felt best on them and their body type.
  • If you've offered to pay for her dress and let her pick the style, I don't think it's unreasonable for you to retain veto power (as long as you don't go nuts with it) and give her a limit to what you're willing to contribute.  Just as a bride who really wants her girls in a $400 Vera Wang should pay the difference over what they agreed was a comfortable budget, a bridesmaid shouldn't spring a really expensive gown on a bride and expect her to pick up the entire tab.  In both cases, it's much easier when a budget is agreed upon before shopping.
    This is a neglected planning bio.
    This is a belated married bio, with no reviews yet because I'm lazy.

    image
    Sometimes I feel like people think that brides are delicate little flower princesses who get all dressed up and pretty for one special moment of their dreams, when really they're just normal people who just happen to be getting married. Things shouldn't have to be sugar-coated for grown-ass women. -mstar284
  • My MOH and I are working together on this.  If one of us sees something we like, we show the other one.  It's working pretty well so far.  It helps give me ideas of what she'd be comfortable in, and it gives her ideas of the kind of style I'm envisioning.
    Follow Me on Pinterest Image and video hosting by TinyPic Photobucket Photobucket
  • if you are paying then you definitely have a right to say that it is too much. you just have to explain to her that you are on a budget and she should understand
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • Thanks a lot!  You've been very helpful!!!
  • I  think bonny wedding dress is very nice and the price is cheap
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards