Attire & Accessories Forum

Finding "the one" and mom doesn't like it?

Its extremely important that my mom love my dress in addition to me loving it. I went out yesterday to look at gowns and fell in love with two (of course). My mom was out of state so I was just sending her pictures. She responded "keep looking, very pretty". So, after all that time yesterday trying on maybe 15+ gowns I had found 2 I loved and she doesn't like them. I had felt a little hopeless until I found them. Did anyone, in this same situation, end up finding THE dress again? I obviously have time and plenty more places to go, just curious.
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Re: Finding "the one" and mom doesn't like it?

  • This happened to my sister and she picked the dress she loved that didn't happen to be one that my mother loved.  My mom was unhappy originally, but got over it in the end.

    I was lucky in that the dress I loved was the same that everyone else loved.

    It's your gown.  Your mom gets a vote, but she doesn't get the final vote.  Keep looking!  You might find something else.  But, if at the end you want the dress that your mom isn't in love with, then it's okay.  Your mom's desire to see you happy should supercede her want to love the gown.
  • My mom wasn't a fan of mine either. But I dug my heels in and said that it's perfect for the location and my personality. Plus, it hides some of my biggest flaws (scars and such). She eventually called me and said it was perfect. She couldn't imagine anything better, and she'd buy it for me for me for my wedding. I was totally shocked. I never asked her to buy me the dress, and I probably would have taken her opinion a little more seriously if that had been the case. She used the excuse that she just didn't like it in ivory, but since I was getting it in white, it'd be perfect! I'm pretty sure it was just an excuse afte realizing that I found my dress and she should be happy for me.

    You need to get the dress for you. While your mother's approval is nice, it shouldn't be the deciding factor. If you are mature enough to get married, you are mature enough to choose your own dress. While, of course, being respectful of your mother's opinion.
    "There is always some madness in love. But there is also always some reason in madness." -Friedrich Nietzsche, "On Reading and Writing"
  • I know everyone wants approval of their wedding attire. But at the end of the day, it's just a dress that you need to feel beautiful in. Let me put it in perspective a bit...


    Does your mom help you pick out all of your other clothing?

    Lets say you picked out a cocktail dress you loooooved to wear to a friend's wedding. Would you ask your mom if it's OK before you wear it? Likely not.

    Trust your instincts and be confident in your choices!

  • My mom and I have different taste in clothing so I didn't expect her to love my dress and had to make peace with that. If you don't typically agree on regular clothing your wedding dress isn't going to be different. Clothing looks different in pictures than in person so you might get a better reaction if you can show her things in person.  
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  • Why is it "very important" that she love the dress? Everyone has different tastes, and you're the one wearing it. You need to wear what you feel beautiful in.
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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  • HobokensFuryHobokensFury member
    5000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    edited February 2013
    I walked down the aisle knowing my grandmother and MIL hated my dress.  Oh well. They didn't pay for it so they didn't get a say.  Unless she's paying for it, it's  your dress. I promise she'll get over it once she see you all dressed up.
     
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  • Yeah I totally get your perspective. I watched way too much "say yes to the dress" in the weeks before I went dress shopping and had way too high standards for the experience. I went with my mom, who'd already told me she would pay for my dress, and she was just really overwhelmed with the experience. She didn't seem like she was having fun, and when I narrowed it down to two she seemed to favor the one I liked less. When I made my decision she was totally supportive but seemed little exasperated. It was such a draining experience for no reason I could really identify. Whatever, I love my dress and I know she and I will both be happy with the decision when my wedding rolls around. I know it's hard, but try to focus on what YOU want and just trust that your mom will like it.
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  • gailpetegailpete member
    Knottie Warrior 1000 Comments 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited February 2013
    Were the pictures of you in the dress or the generic designer photos?  If they were of you in the dress, ask why she doesn't like it.  She may be seeing something you're not or it may be that she just doesn't like that style dress.  Ask her to be specific and maybe you'll be able to find something you both love.  If not, in the end, your opinion is the one that matters.
  • It has nothing to do with my maturity level, it just means a lot to me that my mom will like it. I'm extremely close with her. There is a possibility that she will be paying for it (she's contributing to the wedding funds) so there is another angle.

    I sent her pictures of me in the dresses, but I am hoping to get her in with me so she can see in person. She did text me and clarify that she liked them but she wants me to keep looking and not get the first dress I love. Thanks ladies :)
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  • Picture of a dress and YOU in a dress are very different things!
    My DD's dress was randomly picked up by the bridal store employee and we ALL had a good laugh at it, including my DD.
    But when she tried it on, we all teared up and agreed this dress was the ONE.
    Had my DD sent me a picture of it, I most likely would have dismissed it as "seriously?"

    You have to try it on and then see what your mom says.
  • Keep looking... it's hard to satisfy everyone, but at the end of your journey, and you haven't found another dress you want, then get it.  It's your wedding.   Wink  You are a sweet daughter.  A lot of brides could care less in pleasing anyone else, but themselves.  Happy Planning!!
  • I don't see any harm in continuing to look, but don't be afraid to come back to those if they are the ones you are comparing everything to when you try things on.

    My mom would have rather seen me in a long dress, but thought the one I chose was pretty. What she really didn't like was my shoes. They were bright blue peep toes from Macy's, and mom thought I needed "bridal" shoes. So to appease her I tried on every pair of shoes the salon had. It was incredibly satisfying to be standing there in the 15th pair and hear, "I hate to say it, but I like your blue ones better than all these."

    She may just need to see you other dresses, and then in the dress, to see how happy and comfortable you are in the ones you have chosen.
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  • wow ...i have nothing to add except lots of good advice in this thread :) 
    Christie + Chad ~June 8, 2013~
     CPT & mama to 9 kids, one SIL & a grandbaby girl!
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