Shopping for 'The' dress....

JJWillis3

Ok, so my wedding is a year away from this Friday. I have been told that I need to start looking for my dress. I am really nervous for some reason. I think I'm nervous that I won't find something that I like or what if I like it now and don't like it later??

So, should I just go somewhere and just try on a ton of dresses without any intent to purchase any of them so that I can getover the jitters?

Should I purchase a dress this early? When did you get yours? I know people say to get it early so that you have time to find one you like because it doesn't matter how it fits later because it can be altered. I know all of that.. but I guess it just seems so early!

If you have your dress can you tell me:

How early before your wedding you purchased it?
How many places/dresses did you look at?
Do you just show up at a place to try them on or do you need an appointment?

Your tips and experience are appreciated! Thank you.

waltzingmatilda13

You should definitely start looking at dresses now. You should have a dress on order at least 9 months out, because they are custom made it will take time to come in. You also don't want to rush alterations which can take up to 6 weeks depending on how many fittings you need.

Try looking at bridal magazines or click through some pictures on theknot pages to find styles that you like. Also think about what type of wedding you are having and pick a dress that fits your setting (i.e. beach, park, church, ballroom, country club, etc.). I would ask your local board where they bought their dresses and call a couple shops to make an appointment. You definitely want the help of an experienced bridal consultant since you have no idea what you want at this point. They can help steer you in the right direction and maybe pull something for you to try on that you would never have considered. Also think about your budget and don't try anything on that doesn't fit that budget, because you might fall in love with something you can't afford.

When you go don't take more than 2 people with you. Trusted people who will listen to your opinion and also give good, honest advice without being overbearing. If you take too many people you'll often end up too confused because of all the differing opinions.

Wear comfy undies (in a neutral shade so they don't show under the dress) and bring a strapless bra just in case.

And have fun! You only get to do this once so relax and don't feel pressured to buy anything right away. You can always take a break and come back to try dresses on again if you can't make a decision.

That's all I can think of, but I'm sure the girls on here have other tips to give you, too!

hz80408

How early before your wedding you purchased it?
1yr & 2 wks

How many places/dresses did you look at?
In addition to getting ideas from pics online and magazines, I went to 1 bridal store, and tried on 10 dresses.

Do you just show up at a place to try them on or do you need an appointment?
I didn't need any appointment, but several boutiques require them.  Call the store before to find out.

IMO, your dress helps make the setting and type of formality/details for the wedding and reception.  I think it's smart to look early.  However, I'm the type of person that once I make up my mind, it's set....I never doubted my dress (even though I debated btwn two before just deciding it'd go with this one I bought).  I also never looked at dresses again after mine was purchased.  If I had looked, I may have found something else, who knows.

Once I bought my dress it was just another thing to have done and I moved on.

twilight.rose

How early before your wedding you purchased it?
I bought mine 7 months before the wedding.

How many places/dresses did you look at?
I only went to one shop, tried on a few dresses, and knew mine was "The One" the second I put it on. I got really lucky in that regard.

Do you just show up at a place to try them on or do you need an appointment?
Generally you need an appointment, but call around to some shops you're interested in visiting and ask them. Some boutiques do take walk-ins.

My biggest advice that I always give when ladies ask about dress shopping is to trust your instincts. If you put on a gown and fall in love with it, and it feels perfect, don't second-guess yourself. Oftentimes, the dress you find you adore isn't the style you've always pictured yourself in...and that's okay. Don't overthink the dress. If you feel fabulous and it seems perfect for your wedding day, it probably is.

opalsky007

Go schedule an appointment and try some things on. You'll see quickly what you like and don't like, and then you can come home and think over what you've seen, and look through online photos to find other gowns similar to what you like.

Keep an open mind, have fun, and definitely do not put pressure yourself to find THE dress that first day. And try on things even that look weird on the hanger or that you think you won't like. A lot of us surprise ourselves with what dresses we end up wearing.

You should do your first appointment soon, since dress delivery times range between 4 and 9 months, and you'll probably want to visit several shops or make several trips to one. I went shopping about 4 times myself and wound up buying a gown off the rack abour 9 months out. And in my experience, shops will not deal with you without an appointment, unless you go at a super-slow time like a weekday morning.

nhelene

I ordered my dress 6 months out.... and I was getting really worried because just about every bridal checklist or magazine said I was way behind. 

It's definitely fine to start trying them on... and as you find dresses you love ask the salespeople how far in advance you need to order that particular dress.  8-9 months is a good time to make your final decision and place an order.

smore154

OO this is so much fun. It's not early to look for your dress. For me, looking in magazines didn't help much because I already knew what I liked and didn't like (as far as small things- I hate lace, giant flowers and bows, etc) so that helped. Other than that, I tried on as many different type and shaped dresses as I could. I went to three local stores, twice each. Each time I went I had narrowed down my favorite dresses. The one that was the front runner at two stores was actually shot down by the one I actually bought- and it was a copmlete 180 from the one I thought I really liked. I actually looked through other peoples wedding photos on websites they would send out of their weddings, and I saw a girl with a tulle skirt and that just looked AMAZING in photos- that's when I knew I had one of those narrowed down and I wanted it!

How early before your wedding you purchased it?
Purchased in May, wedding is in March- beacause I am making customizations to the back of the dress, it should be in in Dec- so watch out for that if you want to make changes.

How many places/dresses did you look at?
Three places, gotta be over 30 dresses I tried on at least. Scope out the stores before you go. Some places get real ticked when they know you are trying on without the intent to buy that day- which I think is super rude because they won't give you the same attention as someone else.

Do you just show up at a place to try them on or do you need an appointment?
Always made an appt. You couldnt get in to the stores I went to without one. I also only brought people I know would tell me the truth in how I looked. You don't want toooo many people there- it gets nuts. Also, if they don't allow pictures, its nice to have someone there to sneak some for you on their phone HAHA! Dresses photograph so differently sometimes than how you look at them in the mirror.

[Deleted User]

How early before your wedding you purchased it? I started looking right after we got engaged in April 2009 and our wedding was June 2010. I purchased and ordered it in July 2009. It arrived in January 2010.

How many places/dresses did you look at? My Mom and I went to 3 stores, David's Bridal and 2 local bridal shops.

Do you just show up at a place to try them on or do you need an appointment? Although appts I don't think are required at DB, I would highly recommend it. If at all possible, go during the week as they are so packed on Saturdays, it is often hard to get attention. You won't get individual attention anyway bc they are on commission and often float between brides.

The bridal shops we went to required an appt for everything.

kd.joseph

I knew what I wanted to try on, and I called around to see who had it in stock. Then I went from there.

I ended up only going to one store, but I made an appointment (it was 2 1/2 hours away). And they suggest it so that the sales woman has time to spend with you. In my case they blocked off 2 hours.
Make sure you try on many different styles, you'd be surprised what you think might look good, and what doesnt. And you might be pleasantly surprised.

I bought my dress in Oct. for a May wedding. It came in in four weeks. But that may not be typical, so I think you're doing the right thing starting now.

Good Luck,and have fun.

alecat9

How early before your wedding you purchased it?
6 months. We decided to only have a 6 month engagement and as soon as my mother found out she dragged me to a dress shop.

How many places/dresses did you look at?
We went to a small local boutique first and I fell in love with the first dress I tried on, though I tried on many others there as well. We went to David's Bridal after, and nothing there felt right and the atmosphere was really off. We called the first place back and made an appointment to come back the next morning with my sister and my best friend and ended up ordering the dress. It was supposed to come in late August (about 3 months after I ordered it), but it ended up coming in the middle of July.

Do you just show up at a place to try them on or do you need an appointment?
We just showed up without an appointment, because my mother was so gungho about going immediately. Most places recommend scheduling appointments.

My advice would be to take only a few close people with you and to trust your gut when you find you dress. When I went back with my sister and BFF, they were underwhelmed with my favorite choice and loved my second choice. It wasn't until I realised how upset I was with their reaction and how sad I would be with the other dress, that I knew the first dress was my dress. It was really hard though, to go with my choice and not theirs.

After you find your dress, STOP LOOKING!!!
Good luck!

JRweddingFashion

Agree with that...It's better to try different styles as many as you can. You might get the big surprise after trying different styles. Then you will find the best wedding gown to fit you a lot...I sugget the bridal can start to plan your wedding gown at least 8 months or 1 year ago...Otherwise, you will be very rush for the most important thing in the big day...You can check our store website: www.jrweddingfashion.com...We have more than 700 pieces of wedding gown in the store with different brand, but with with the low price..

Ash2985

How early before your wedding you purchased it?  I bought my dress a little less than 7 months before my wedding, so I'm cutting it close, but they told me today that it should be in around the end of December.  My wedding is February 26, 2011.
How many places/dresses did you look at?  I went to two places, but I was pretty sure I was going to buy the dress I had picked out online (the one in my siggy).  It was my dream dress, and the first one I tried on was the full length version of that dress, and it was the dress that every other dress was compared to.  I love it.  I tried on probably 20 dresses total; we were quick, I would get one on, and if it didn't look right, off it came.  There was none of the emotional stuff you see on shows like SYTTD.
Do you just show up at a place to try them on or do you need an appointment?  I had an appointment at the first bridal boutique I went to, and then we went to David's Bridal on a whim after that because I wanted to try on dresses that actually fit (I am not a sample size).  I liked some of the DB dresses OK, but the idea was really just to see what the styles looked like on me in the appropriate size.  I considered some of the ones I tried on, but didn't love any of them the way I love my dress.

I was super nervous about trying dresses on, too.  It's fun, once you get into it.  I only took my mom and my MOH, and they were incredibly supportive.  We each had a different favorite, but both kept telling me that all that mattered was what dress I loved, so I bought my dress the next day.

aspe85

You're my date twin!!

How early before your wedding you purchased it? I ordered and put my deposit down at the end of June!

How many places/dresses did you look at?  We went to 2 different places. The first place was a complete bomb. They didn't dress you, you had to dress yourself and pull all of your own dresses.. My mom was SO sick of tying up dresses by the end!! The second place (where I bought from) was awesome, and I tried on about 10 dresses before I found "the one".

Do you just show up at a place to try them on or do you need an appointment?  We just showed up at the first place, and we had to book an appt inadvance for the second place.

I agree with the other girls, once you find your dress - STOP looking!! You'll drive yourself crazy with things you "could've" had, etc.

I was really nervous too, but it's no big deal. The girls that help you out are usually pretty good at what they do (although I had a Newbie!) and they're all super nice. Just chill out and enjoy the ride!

tranjuliet

How early before your wedding you purchased it?
I had an 18 month engagement and started shopping for the dress after 6 months of being engaged and looking through magazines. I didn't buy my dress until March (6 months after starting shopping) for an October wedding. The dress came in July and alterations were completed earlier this month.

How many places/dresses did you look at?
So what I did was stalk theknot and projectwedding to get an idea for pricing and designers. I narrowed down a few designers I liked in my price range and then checked their websites to see which stores carried them. Then I went on weddingwire and yelp to check out reviews and tried to get appointments with consultants that got good reviews. I ended up visiting about 4 bridal boutiques and also checked out a few sample sales and designer consignment type stores. I tried on about 25 dresses.

Do you just show up at a place to try them on or do you need an appointment?
I made appointments for all of the locations that required or recommended them. I also tried to make the appointments the first ones in the day or on less busy weekdays so I could get full attention.

Tips:
- So I'm a bit of a meticulous researcher and this may not work for everyone, but it worked great for me. I recommend checking out the review sites like weddingwire and yelp to get an idea on the customer service. It's a pretty big purchase so you want to make sure you're supporting a business that looks out for its customers.
- Once you find your dress, STOP LOOKING! I've seen so many brides on these forums continue shopping and purchasing additional gowns and then not knowing what to do with what they've already purchased. Definitely don't feel rushed to make a purchase, especially since you have a lot of time. You should come back and try on the dress again after going home and thinking about it to see if it gives you that feeling again the 2nd time.
- The whole crying when you find your dress moment does not happen for everyone. It certainly didn't happen for me. I knew it was the dress because I loved the way it looked on me and I knew my FI would love it too. I smiled ear to ear.

HTH!

slubkin

I think that much of what I have to say has also been mentioned by previous posters.

My wedding is in just under a year and I am going shopping next month, although I started looking at designers online when I got engaged 6 months ago and have been making a sort of online notebook with links and pictures so I have everything together.  I also watched a couple episodes of "Say Yes to the Dress" which did offer some helpful tips about what NOT to do, as well as give me a perspective on bridal gown pricing.

I'd recommend starting by deciding what your budget is.  You can browse the dresses on theknot.com to start getting some idea of designers' price points. At the same time, you might also start looking at what your local bridal salons are and which designers they carry.  You can go to the designers' websites and make notes on any gown styles you love.  Then if you want to get a rough estimate on pricing, you can google the designer's name and style number with the word "price" and find some online gown sellers to get a sense of the actual price range for each designer (some have different lines at different price ranges as well).

Like tranjuliet, I also decided to check yelp reviews of bridal salons in my area (I do this with unfamiliar restaurants, too).  This was really important for me for three reasons:

1) My budget is fairly low and I am a plus size bride.  (While part of me wants to postpone a decision on the dress in the hope that I will lose additional weight before the wedding, my practical side tells me that might not happen and if it does, it's easier to take a dress in than let it out, so I'd rather have a dress I look good in NOW than hope my figure changes.)  Since most sample sizes are 10-12, I was really concerned about going to try on dresses and not being able to squeeze into them and get a sense of how they actually would look on me in the appropriate size.

2) I read a LOT of horror stories on Yelp and other sites about brides getting terrible customer service.  Apparently that's a big problem with the bridal industry in general.  My feeling is, even if my dress is only $1000 or less, that's STILL a lot of money and much more than I would spend on any other single item of clothing... I would like to be treated nicely. 

3) I wanted to go to one or two stores that carried all or almost all the designers I have preferred, so I don't have to go to a different shop to try on each dress that I think I love.

Through online reviews I think I've found the store that meets all these criteria, and when I made my appointment the girl I spoke to reassured me that they have a lot of larger sample sizes- and they even will let me take pictures of the dresses (many stores do not)- YAY!

A couple other things others mentioned that I would re-iterate:

- Make an appointment.  Even if it's not necessary at that particular store, you will get much more focused attention and customer service if you have one.

- Tell the consultant what your budget is and if there is any wiggle room.  Generally, it's not advised to try on gowns that are out of your budget "just for fun" because if you decide you love it and you can't afford it, that can be heartbreaking.  This may require you to ask your shopping companions to NOT select dresses for you in the store, or to only select dresses which are in your price range (unless they are willing to pay the difference).

- It's often helpful for the consultant to have at least SOME idea of your preferences.  This might be as vague as your personality or the style/venue of your wedding ("romantic", "classic/elegant", "fun/playful", etc) or as specific as a particular neckline or silhouette that you seem to favor. They may also want to know if, for example, you don't like tulle or couture-style gowns, or you are thinking of using a certain kind of veil.  This will help them pull a smaller selection of dresses that you are more likely to like, so you don't waste time on ones that won't fit what you want.

- However, it's also helpful to have an open mind.  Some brides bring in a picture of their dream dress, try it on, love it, and buy it.  Others try it on and hate how it looks on them.  I made 3 lists to give my consultant: 1) things I love, 2) things I don't love but would be willing to try, and 3) things that I don't like at all.

- Don't bring more than 2-3 people with you.  It can be hard to get a consensus on a single dress with a large group.  Focus on what YOU like and only bring people whose respected opinions are very important for you to consider in your selection process (for example, bringing the person who has offered to pay for the gown, for their approval).

- Once you find "the dress", stop shopping and move on to planning other parts of the wedding.



Sorry for the long post but I hope that's helpful!

orangejulius

How early before your wedding you purchased it?
I'm 8 months out right now and about to purchase my gown.

How many places/dresses did you look at?
We went to 3 places total. The first place was a upscale boutique that my mom and I went to right after I was engaged. Then, more recently, I went to David's Bridal with my mom, FMIL, and one of my bridesmaids who lives in town. A couple of days later my mom and I decided to go to another little boutique because we both had off work. I've tried on about 25 dresses total, and narrowed it down to two favorites.

Do you just show up at a place to try them on or do you need an appointment?
I had appointments for the first two places, and the last place we just called ahead to see if we could walk in. It turned out fine because it was a weekday morning which makes a huge difference. I had an appointment at the first boutique, but actually felt a little rushed there. Our David's Bridal appointment was on a weekday evening and it was packed, but we had an awesome consultant who gave us her full attention. I think making an appointment is the best way to go.

Good luck and have fun!

JJWillis3

Wow! Thank you guys for the posts! I didn't expect so many replies! One question that I didn't ask was answered anyways. I wasn't sure on how many people I should take. I was worried about too many opinions as well. I think 2 friends would be good. Now I just need to decide who.

Thank you again!

IanEmily

How early before your wedding you purchased it?
I am very far out of the norm, but I only found my dress two weeks before my wedding (and my wedding is now about one week away). However, I did not order my dress, I ended up purchasing it off-rack from a local salon. I am in the middle of rush fittings now (they just finished my first fitting and the beadwork, and I am scheduling my second to be sure the dress is good and ready to go a week from tomorrow). While I got very lucky and found a dress I adore in such a short timespan, and off the rack to boot, I would highly suggest giving yourself as much time as possible to look and mull over your options.

How many places/dresses did you look at?
I made an appointment at three salons in one of the larger cities in my area. I decided to go into a local boutique to look, and ended up cancelling my appointments at the other salons. I believe I tried on about 10 dresses at this shoppe, had three that I really enjoyed, and picked "the one" that same day.

Do you just show up at a place to try them on or do you need an appointment?
It depends on the place. Some require advance notice and appointments, but many allow walk-ins daily. If you plan on doing a walk-in, I would suggest doing it during the day during the week if possible (as opposed to doing it on the weekend when it will likely be more busy). Call ahead if you're not sure if they require an appointment or not.