Attire & Accessories Forum

Dress Doubts

When my fiance and I got engaged, we had set our wedding date six months out. I went to DB my first dress shopping trip left me in tears due to the sales lady and my own mother. So, I waited until another month to try on dresses. The next several experiences went really well and I was feeling more excited about dress shopping. Well, I ended up going to a bridal store and was informed that due to the date of my upcoming wedding, I was limited on dress options. Unfortunately, I was unaware that it took several months to have one ordered. So I picked a dress that my mom and moh loved along with other sales reps and customers. I was having anxiety as my mom paid for the dress and just figured I was nervous since I really felt like I needed to order a dress ASAP. I like to think things over for big decisions. I've tried the dress on two other times since then but now I am freaking out thinking this isn't my dress. It's not what I originally dreamed of and I'm starting to wonder did I pick it to please others. I don't know what to do. My parents spent a lot of money on that dress. I keep praying that these doubts are normal and may be triggered by something else. People have suggested getting a second dress but I would hate to spend the money or disrespect my parents. I'm trying so hard to think positively and be thankful for my parents generosity but I can't shake the feeling this isn't my dress. Any advice?

Re: Dress Doubts

  • What about the dress makes you think it "isn't your dress?" Are there aspects of it that you can pintpoint that you don't like? Obviously you look fabulous in it if your mom, MOH, and the sales people liked it. Could there be things you could add that would make the whole ensemble feel more "you" (like adding fun jewelry, shoes, or sash)? 

    Also, I'm hoping you aren't tied to the idea that you have to have "the feeling" when you put on the dress. Alot of women dont have that feeling but are indoctrinated into thinking they need to cry or flip out when they find "the dress." Sometimes you don't find "the dress," you just find something that looks fabulous on you, is comfortable, and fits your theme.

    If you give me some more info about why you feel the way you do I might be able to help out with more advice. I work at a bridal store and I get this question alot. 

    Hoping you're not stressin too much. Everything will turn out fine :)
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  • Originally, I was thinking a detailed bodice with a sweat heart neckline that is a ballgown and in white satin. The dress I got is rouched from top to hips, similar to an a line made with taffeta and crystals for the beading. I keep thinking I should have gone with ballgown but when I tried them on, I felt like I was in the Victorian era. I am doubting the choice since the dress is unique and not a cookie cutter dress. But, the thing is I'm not a cookie cutter. I have always dressed by what looks good on me and not the display so I'm trying to figure out if I'm stressing since the dress isn't what I originally had imagined. I know that not all people get that this is the dress feeling but I don't like feelings of doubt especially since I am a confident person. Also, I would never want to come across as spoiled and ungrateful. I'm trying my best to love the dress considering I know the cost and not all parents would willingly buy any dress for their daughter especially considering the fact I was saying I didn't want a dress more than 500 but tripled that price. In your experience, do girls go back into the store to try the floor sample again? I don't want to waste my sales rep time to ease my doubts but I am wondering if it would help to see myself in it again. Also, is it common for other sales reps to remember a girl in a particular dress or come over and comment on it? I had doubts before but when I tried on the dress again to pick a veil, a different sales rep came over and told me she remembered me in that dress and said nice things. That helped ease my mind that day since I was thinking how could you remember someone else's customer considering the amount of girls in that store. I hope these thoughts are normal and I'm just stressed since I want this to be the one and only dress I will have. Thanks for your nice comments. It helps to talk to those who you don't know since they have no obligation to say things to kiss butt.
  • In Response to <a href="">Re:Dress Doubts</a>:
    [QUOTE]Originally, I was thinking a detailed bodice with a sweat heart neckline that is a ballgown and in white satin. The dress I got is rouched from top to hips, similar to an a line made with taffeta and crystals for the beading. I keep thinking I should have gone with ballgown but when I tried them on, I felt like I was in the Victorian era.

    When I first started trying on dresses, I was so sure that I wanted a one-shoulder, flowy chiffon gown.  No satin, no tulle, no taffeta, and absolutely NO flowers.  Well, I tried on that style...and it just felt weird.  So, then I decided I really wanted a fit-and-flare that had a smooth satin top and an organza skirt.  Not only are those impossible to find (especially in my price range), I also found out that satin just does not look good on me.  So what did I end up with?  An all-tulle, ruched fit-and-flare that has a tulle petal skirt and scattered beading on the top.  Aside from the beading, the dress is nothing like what I originally thought I wanted, and have since had major dress regret because I can't get the idea of the satin/organza dress out of my head.  Sometimes what you had your heart set on just doesn't look or feel right on you - remind yourself of that feeling when you start having dress regret.  I'm sure you look stunning in the one you have!  Just get some great accessories and really make it your own.  I know I've felt much better since getting my jewelry and deciding on my veil.  :)
  • It's pretty normal to have dress doubts.  My parents were kind enough to purchase my dress for me.  I loved my dress, but it was way more expensive than I had originally thought I wanted to spend (but within the budget my parents set for me), so I really struggled with anxiety and doubts about it for quite a while after we ordered it.  I think you just have to come to terms with the price and remember why you fell in love with it in the first place.  You can post pics here if you like as PP suggested.  We'll ooh and aah over you (since I'm sure it's GORGEOUS!) and maybe that will help set your mind at rest.  You didn't mention anything about this, but just in case I'm going to warn you, do NOT look at other dresses.  That's an excellent way to confuse yourself.
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  • Even if you're a confident person normally its totally normal to have stress about the biggest day (and the most important garment) of your life. 

    If you feel like it will ease your mind, by all means go in and try it on again. This time take in your jewelry you're planning on wearing and shoes (or something similar to what you plan on getting) that way you can see the "whole picture." Also, if a sales rep went out of her way to remember you and come up and give you compliments it means she is sincere. I don't normally go out of my way to approach brides unless I really do remember them and I really did think they looked stunning.

    Care to share a link to the dress you purchased? Might help me put this whole thing into a frame of reference.
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  • Pics would help immensely or at least the maker and style number so we can google and see for ourselves.  My dress is nothing like I thought it would be either.  I didn't want strapless because I didn't want to be hitching it up all night and planned to do a lot of dancing (I've been dancing since I was 5 so when I dance, I really dance).  I also am not a really blingy person and didn't want a lot of beadwork.  I wanted more of a flowy, silk/chiffon no beading, no lace, no poofy skirt. 

    Well, wouldn't you know that my dress is strapless, beaded and has 3D lace along with a slightly poofy skirt (I may have some of the poof taken out when it comes in, though).

    I would totally go try it on again and do what the PP suggested, bring all your accessories with you. If you're doing a hair and makeup trial, see about going to try it on that day so you can really see what it will look like.  If you're doing it yourself, make that day a pratice day and get the full effect.  I also agree with the PP that the sales lady wouldn't have had any reason other than being sincere to come over to say that to you since the sale had already been made.  She meant it and I'm sure it looks amazing on you. 
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  • Just stick with the dress you have. At the end the day if your married to the person you love, that is all that matters.
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