How much is too much for a wedding dress?

retniw2014

I'm newly engaged and just starting the wedding planning! This is such an exciting time for both me and my fiance. We've seen eye to eye on everything, except one thing: my wedding dress. He told me he'd still love me if I wore a burlap sack down the aisle. Of course, my favorite dresses are thousands of dollars! (I love Claire Pettingbone...) We're figuring out our budget, and I'm left wondering...how much is too much?! I want to look beautiful and love my dress, but don't want to fight with my fiance. HELP!

monkeysip

There's no way for anyone to answer this for you.

Too much is a dress that you can't comfortably afford and don't feel comfortable buying.

Is you FI concerned because your budget is tight?  If so, maybe his concerns are valid.  But if you have the money for a $5k dress, and you won't go into debt over it or anything, then maybe just talk to your FI about how important it is to you.

Also, keep an open mind on dresses.  You never know what style looks good on you, and you might be surprised at how nice dress can be for a cheaper amount.  Also, if you find a dress you really love but can't afford, check legitimate discount stores like Pearl's place, or by a used dress on a website like Oncewed.com or preownedweddingdresses.com.

Mooey74

You might want to check out the website brokeass brides. They have a feature called can't afford it get over it to help ladies find something more in their price for example
ranhttp://www.thebrokeassbride.com/2013/02/cant-afford-itget-over-it-claire-pettibone-esque-wedding-dress-styles-for-less/ge.

Mooey74

ok so I don't know what happened to the link, but still checkout the site.

Ella and Pedro

You could try working with a seamstress near you to get one custom-made.  It MIGHT cost less.  You would get it fitted exactly to your size, so that does save money on fittings.  I have a woman in Michigan making me a dress which is pretty elaborate (ball gown style, wisteria blue-grey duchess satin, corset bodice with steel-boning, lace-up back, long train, custom petticoat with 5 hoops to go with it, lace edged Rococco-style sleeves). I found her after trying to get a dress of the above description already made.  It simply did not exist.  Then I went to a few local seamstresses and they priced what I wanted at $3,500 or so.  This woman is charging me about $1,000.  Her name is Janet and her shop is www.mybigfatbeautifulwedding.com. She could do what you want, I think.  Check with her. She's in Michigan but as I live in D.C. we are overcoming this easily - I'm simply getting measured by a local seamstress and sending these professional measurements to Janet.   So I will have to pay another $35 or so for this.  Not actually sure, as I have not done the measuring part yet.  The other thing is, she does not add bustling. So, if I want that (and I do) I have to also have that done locally.

csweaney

You really should assess your whole budget for the wedding and then break up your budget into percentage increments. That should at least give you a baseline price for was is "reasonable" given your budget. For example, I found a percentage breakdown in my bridal book that I bought to help me figure out all wedding related expenses. It states that your dress should be 5% of my budget. I did end up spending a bit more than this, but can justify the extra expense because I have spent less in other areas.

Since you are new to the whole bridal planning thing I really recommend the book "The Wedding Book: The Big Book for Your Big Day"

I really enjoyed reading it and it has tons of tips--things you wouldn't even thing about! Its about 15 dollars on amazon.com

beautifulmama28

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_attire-accessories_how-much-is-too-much-for-a-wedding-dress?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:15Discussion:3914ca9a-1e2c-45a5-adc1-62524cf78ec9Post:f533c4c9-16c0-4183-8527-81738fb8152f">Re: How much is too much for a wedding dress?</a>:
[QUOTE]You might want to check out the website brokeass brides. They have a feature called can't afford it get over it to help ladies find something more in their price for example ran <a href="http://www.thebrokeassbride.com/2013/02/cant-afford-itget-over-it-claire-pettibone-esque-wedding-dress-styles-for-less/ge." rel="nofollow">http://www.thebrokeassbride.com/2013/02/cant-afford-itget-over-it-claire-pettibone-esque-wedding-dress-styles-for-less/ge.</a>
Posted by Mooey74[/QUOTE]

<div>
</div><div>THAT is really cool!  I'd love to see an entire blog that focused on that,...there were many designer dresses I loved when first looking that were so out of my price range (for me $1500+ was too much lol) , I would have loved that link before I found the one lol</div>

Peavy

A wedding dress is a one-wear dress.  You're never going to wear it again, and most likely neither is anyone else.  Your daughter almost certainly won't want to wear it.  Yes, you want to look and feel beautiful, but can you justify spending thousands of dollars to wear a dress for six hours?

Classy_Dame_009

I feel your pain!!  I have expensive taste too, and I dunno about you, but I know I can't afford it.  And Claire Pettibone... yup, gorgeous. 

As for looking beautiful for your man, to be totally honest, MOST men (maybe not all, but most) wouldnt know the dif between a $500 dress and a $5000 dress.  Just sayin.  In my personal opinion, what men notice most is shape rather than detail.  If he can see your body, he's happy; and you can buy any silhouette at any price point.  In my experience with guys and weddings, a lot of them also seem to dislike very impractical wedding gowns (tons of puff and fluff, bells and whistles, faux white doves sewn to the shoulders, that sort of thing...)

That said, YOU still want to be happy and feel beautiful in your wedding gown, of course.  If you decide that you just cant afford thousands of dollars for a dress, my first suggestion is make sure you do NOT try any of them on.  Once you fall in love with one, it's just going to be that much more painful to walk away from it... OR you'll end up making a financial decision that will only cause stress down the road when you're trying to pay off your wedding while saving for a house, car, kids college funds, whatever is on your long-term-goal-list. 

I do agree about checking websites that sell used and sample wedding gowns.  You may just find a designer gown at a price thats more wallet-friendly.  Plus think about what you might save in alterations by buying a dress that someone has already had hemmed and bustled.

Aside from that, maybe make an appointment at a bridal shop near you that carries dresses in your desired price range.  Go in with an open mind and excited to put on pretty dresses!  (Not sulky 'cause they dont carry the expensive ones).  Let them know what designers you love or bring pictures, and tell them you want to find something with a similar vibe thats not more than $___ (fill in the blank).  Hey, you never know what you might fall in love with once you put it on!

If it helps, here's some less expensive gowns that have a similar vibe to Claire Pettibone...
1.  http://www.davidsbridal.com/Product_Crinkle-Chiffon-Column-Gown-with-Sheer-Straps-VW351139_Bridal-Gowns-Features-All-Gowns 
2.  http://www.davidsbridal.com/Product_Satin-Gown-with-Cascading-Train-and-Floral-Detail-SPK472_Bridal-Gowns-Features-All-Gowns 
3.  http://www.davidsbridal.com/Product_Lace-Blouson-Wedding-Gown-with-3D-Floral-Detail-KP3515_Bridal-Gowns-Features-All-Gowns 
4.  http://www.davidsbridal.com/Product_Cap-Sleeve-Fit-and-Flare-Lace-Gown-MS251005_Bridal-Gowns-Features-All-Gowns 
5.  http://www.davidsbridal.com/Product_Fit-to-Flare-Wedding-Gown-with-Illusion-Neckline-SWG561_Bridal-Gowns-Features-All-Gowns 
6.  http://www.alfredangelo.com/collections/productdisplay.aspx?productID=251a2e4c-54e2-4275-9583-36671651a5f5&categoryID=32e5a88c-cbf1-498f-afcf-dbfca138c5d3&pg=0&colorId1=
7.  http://www.maggiesottero.com/dress.aspx?style=12003 
8.  http://www.maggiesottero.com/dress.aspx?style=J1205LU 
9.  http://watters.com/Product/WtooBrides/10668/#viewtype:viewall 
10.  http://watters.com/Product/WtooBrides/17393/#viewtype:viewall 
11.  http://watters.com/Product/WtooBrides/15410/#viewtype:viewall 

Hope this helps!