Touchy Bridesmaid Request...

expats14 · August 2012

I'm just starting to get ready to ask my bridesmaids to, well, be bridesmaids. The Knot boards have been so helpful so far. Here is my issue:

I want my bridesmaids to be comfortable, which means VERY different things for each of these girls. I have no issue with the idea of different dresses along a color scheme, I don't even care if they're different shades of say, navy blue. Everyone is coming from far and wide and I really appreciate that they're coming to the wedding in the first place. I'm not going to put up a stink about a shade of blue.

However, I do have one bridesmaid who is very well endowed, hates to wear a bra, thinks she doesn't need to wear one, and routinely goes out wearing the two birds jersey dress she got for fun without a bra. It's...not a pretty sight.

Is it too much to ask that she wear a bra? Is that too bridezillaish? How should I phrase it?

Summer2011Bride · August 2012

I would avoid saying anything. You're right; it's a touchy issue and one that she will probably be embarrassed if you bring up. If you are fine with letting them pick different dresses, trust that she will find one that she's comfortable in and looks good on her.

Also wearing a bra is not always the answer. I'm a D cup and got cups sewn in both my wedding gown and a BM dress I wore last year. My boobs stayed in place and it looked absolutely fine and I didn't technically have a bra on.

DeannaCW · August 2012

It could also be that she's unable to wear a bra. I haven't worn one on nearly four years due to joint inflammation where my ribs meet my sternum and spine. On good days I'm seriously sore within half an hour, on bad days it's unbearable within seconds. I agree, let this one go.

Peledreamsofrain · August 2012

Unfortunately, there really isn't a way to tactfully approach this one. Your only choice is to trust her enough to be in your wedding party, or not.

The only thing I could think of doing, since I had my BMs pick their own dresses, is whenever they ask for your feedback stress dresses that have built in support. Chances are they'll e-mail you options they like, always pick the one with more structure for her. But keep in mind that doesn't guarentee she'll listen to your subtle hints.

maribeth721 · August 2012

I think it's cool you're giving them the option to do their own thing. Maybe tell her and the rest of your BMs to run the dress by you before they purchase it? Then you can tell what she's going to look like in it. I don't think there's anything wrong with you giving final approval before they purchase something.