How did you know it was "the one"? (dress frustration, and PIP)

Sweet_Adeline

I have been to 3 different salons and have tried on over 30 dresses at this point, and I haven't gotten that "this is it" feeling with any of them.  There are two that I think are really pretty, but I'm feeling really indecisive.  Maybe I've watched too much "Say Yes to the Dress", but I feel like I should have that "I have to have this dress" moment.  To make matters worse, I bought a dress about 6 months ago, and I don't like it anymore so I'm a second dress girl.  Last thing I want is to make another rash decision and wind up not liking it, either. 

So this dress is in my top two:




The other one I wasn't able to get a picture of me in:

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My wedding is May of next year, and I know that it's recommended that you give yourself at least 6-9 months to order your dress, so I'm feeling pressure from the amount of time I have left.  Maybe I'm just being to much of a perfectionist... every dress I try on I think "I like it except for..." There's usually one thing that I don't love about the dress, like it's not a corset back, or that I wish it had a different neckline.

I'm jsut so frustrated with the entire experience right now.

ellone400

dont  worry you  know  once you put  it  on.once you  find it stop looking at dresses

jagore08

A lot of girls don't get the "this is it" feeling.  Both of those dresses are very pretty.  Remember with a good seamstress you can alter a dress.  Most dresses can be altered to have a corset back.  A lot of necklines can be altered.  

alaea

I don't get alot of the emotional reactions some women get...

I never cried when my children were born, when my oldest starts a new year of school, when my baby started potty training...and not when I found my dress either...

I'd say I felt more like, I felt like a bride...not just a girl in a dress...and I was comfortable in it, with it and it's price, ect...it was more a feeling of 'right'

alaea

also, that first dress looks great ^_^

MrsH8611

ya the first dresss looks amazing!! And I didn't feel like a Bride until I put this dress on. If you have a few things in mind on what you like in a dress... and do not try to be picky over every detail.... the feeling will overwhelm you when you do try on that gorgeous dress and you think oh my gosh im getting married   Not everyone cries, but hey if you open yourself up to looking pat a bead or a bustle you aren't a total fan of... but the rest of the dress is perfect... You just might

linguo42

I knew mine was the dress for me the second I saw myself in it in the mirror. I didn't get the urge to cry, I didn't hear angels singing, or see myself at the altar, I just thought, "Damn, I look good!"

Heck, the dress wasn't even close to any of the pictures I had cut out of magazines or scouted out on websites. I pretty much gave the consultant free rein to pick what she thought would suit me. Her choices surprised me, and a couple of them weren't my style at all, but the others were very "me", and one of them was THE dress.

Basically, when you step into a dress and all you can do is grin stupidly at your reflection instead of looking at all the things you'd change about the dress, you've found it. FWIW, I think you'd look stunning in that Mori Lee.

AmberMarieTX

I am going through this now, too. But my problem is that I feel like "this is the one" with a few dresses!

Have you tried other silhouettes? Now that I know my favorite silhouette (trumpet), it is hard for me to narrow down which one I like the most, but I loooooooooove the three that I have narrowed it down to.

[Deleted User]

I really like both of the dresses in your post. I really like the second one, but it is hard to tell without seeing you in it.

Once you decide between these two, stop looking at dresses. When it comes in, you will be surprised again esp after you try it on. I am sure you will look beautiful and stunning in it on your wedding day esp after you have your hair and make-up done. For me, it was hard to picture all of that, but as things started coming together, such as the hair trials, etc I started to see how it would look and loved it.

I knew I found "the one" by how good I looked and it just felt right. I also had my FSIL and FMIL with me at the time and they both agreeed the one I bought was the one over the second choice. Some other brides and Moms that were trying on dresses also told me that was the one, so that reaffirmed my choice.

Cleo7

Is either one of those the dress you already own?  Can you post a pic of the original dress? 

You still have time - if you haven't found one you love, keep looking.  You may not get weepy and teary when you find the dress, but as pp's have said, when there's nothing you want to change about it, you feel good in it and it makes you smile, that's it.

and then stop looking.

amatadei

I didn't have that "it" feeling like SYTD. No tears. No drama. Well, ok, there was drama when I was dress shopping....

In my case, I had a certain dress in mind that, halfway through dress shopping, I discovered I absolutely couldn't afford. There were dresses before that one that I had *liked* but they didn't give me the warm, fuzzy feeling of victory. But, when I went back to try them on a second time, the one had grown on me and I realized that I didn't want to take it off! Victory! There were still no tears or crazy "YES! YES THIS IS MY DRESS!" but when I realized that I couldn't stop looking at myself in the mirror in this dress, it was comfortable, and they could do some alterations to make it more my style (mainly, the neckline), I was sold!

Keep looking if you would like, but also go revisit your top picks from previous trips to see what hits you the second time around. My cousin needed a second look, too. It's very common, I'm finding. Gown shopping can be an overwhelming experience, especially if you don't know what you want or if you know what you want and can't find it!

One last word of advice-- Once you buy, you may start second guessing yourself again. That's pretty normal, too. After we put the down payment on my gown and ordered it, it started getting less and less fabulous in my mind. So, when we stopped by the shop to look for MOB dresses, I asked if I could try it on again and suddenly, all the doubts and worries disappeared. Don't panic if doubts begin to creep back. If you can, try on the sample again like I did or, just keep swimming and tell yourself that it was indeed gorgeous and there's a reason you bought it (which I know must be difficult since this is dress #2, but stick to your guns! Perhaps write down your thoughts post-deposit euphoria so you can look back on them when the doubts creep in).

aerinpegadrak

I knew mine was "the one" because it was flattering, it had all of the elements I'd been looking for, and, most importantly, it was in my price range.  It was entirely a rational decision, not an emotional one.  If you're holding out for tears and butterflies and singing woodland creatures, I think you're just setting yourself up for disappointment.

zobogo

I tried on nearly 60 dresses (if not more) before I found "the one" so don't get discouraged.  I had this exact dress pictured in my head (never saw a picture of it just knew what I wanted it to be).  So after 3 dress shops I pretty much gave up hope & started looking for a dress in a totally opposite direction of the one in my head. Well at the 7th shop, I saw this dress & insisted I try it (of course on the hanger I just thought it was another pretty dress).  Sure enough that was "the one" - the dress I had dreamed up & it was perfect.  It really took me by surprise because I hadn't thought the dress existed & had pretty well given up on finding it.  My posture changed, I couldn't stop from smiling or staring at myself in the mirror, & most importantly I didn't want to ever take the dress off!  (& yes I admit, the tears did come).  The dress was just me - my style, my vision, everything.  When you try that dress on you will know & you really won't ever want to take it off!
Even though I felt so good about the dress I had to sleep on the decision - the bridal salons really do push for a purchase that day so if you don't feel 100% positive about it, sleep on it - I didn't order my dream dress until 3 days later & I had to try it on once more before ordering it.  Good luck!

dizzinea

i feel your pain, I have had four dresses, it's a long story but the bottom line is that my taste was so eclictic I kept wanting the mermaid sleek dress, but then wanting the huge ballgown, now I have a dress I'm going to wear that I don't love, and need to sell a dress that I'd love to wear but it's too late to alter. my advice is to realize that it is possible you don't have a perfect dress,and to choose something that is flattering and beautiful but don't expect a this is the one feeling, because you may have several the ones out there.

starlite21l

I never got that "it" feeling but I kind of knew I wouldn't.  I am just not emotional like that.  When my FI proposed I laughed so I knew I wouldn't get tears of excitement when I found a dress.  I just kind of looked around everyone said, "WOW!!!"  and I said, "Okay, if everyone says this looks amazing this must be it!"  Like you I was stuck between two dresses and I finally just listened to everyone else because I just knew I wasn't going to get that feeling.  I knew I could go on and on and try on 100 dresses.  There is always that chance you could find a better dress.  It is the what if in lifes but at some point you have to say stop.  If everyone says you look AMAZING and you feel comfortable in it then go with it! 

brianabrad

I think you broke the cardinal rule of dress shopping - once you buy, stop looking.

What is wrong with the first dress you purchased? Do you have a photo of it?

AmberMarieTX

Looking at you, I think you would look stunning in a trumpet fit.. something where we can see those hips! But it's definitely how YOU FEEL. I don't think everyone gets the "aha" moment. Also, the veil helped me a lot.

smore154

Ditto- STOP LOOKING!!!

I also tried on TONS of dresses- went to three dress shops two times each- and finally knew my dress was "the one" when I put it on (for about the 5th time mind you) and just knew- I felt so fun and spunky, and it really fit me well and looked great. That's how I knew I wanted to feel on my wedding day.

I also didn't like EVERYTHING about my dress like you are saying. I wish the sash was slightly different- and I actually added more beading to the back and train cos that's what I wanted. You should maybe look for a designer where you can change certain things about the dress that you seem to like. Adding a corset back or more beading, or making it a different shape may be the way you have to go! Maybe you arent finding your dream dress beacuse you have to create it from other ones.

Good luck! And once you find it this time- stop shopping!