stubborn camouflage groom...help?

CurlsNpearls12

Where to begin..??

FI is a HUGE avid hunter, and to be quite honest.. sometimes I have to compete with hunting for his attention, haha. I love that he loves having hunting as a hobby, but lately it seems to be ruining the excitement of wedding planning. I wanted to incorporate his personality in his attire, so I figured a "winter white" camouflage vest would be nice to go under a black tuxedo jacket, along with a matching pocket square. I think it is completely wedding appropriate but can still reflect what he enjoys.

However, FI started off by throwing a fit about a tuxedo jacket, tie, and dress pants. Apparently he thought a pair of black jeans and an all over camo "tux" jacket would be OK. The rest of the wedding is pretty formal, and not to mention an all over camo coat would be tacky/ inappropriate for any wedding (unless we were going on CMT's Redneck Wedding or whatever)..

Last week, his Mother was pretty passive aggresive about the whole thing, and kept telling him to just "wear what you want, it's your wedding too!" ...So that didn't help matters.

I need help getting him on board, and the farthest I've gotten, is him agreeing on the white camo vest, but NO no tie, no coat, and only black jeans and cowboy boots

Avion22

Can you compromise by having him wear the camo vest/black tux jacket for the ceremony and most of the pictures, then let him wear his camo jacket for a few more pictures and the reception?

To me, the reception is a time to let your hair down and have fun.  I think it's fine for him to wear more camoflage there.  But I agree that the ceremony is a more solemn ocasion, and all-over camoflage isn't apropriate.

CurlsNpearls12

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_attire-accessories_stubborn-camouflage-groomhelp?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:15Discussion:482ca590-64c6-4b96-b718-b1ab79d0ffcdPost:933195b6-903d-43a1-a18d-f1664cabfadd">Re: stubborn camouflage groom...help?</a>:
[QUOTE]Why is your fiance opposed to wearing big boy clothes? You might share with him some words to live by -- "Happy wife, happy life".
Posted by LucyHC[/QUOTE]

I give him that line every time this comes up. Thanks for reminding me of it thought! Who knows why he's opposed to dressing like a big boy. He's always been like this. Any formal events, he acts like a child, so I normally leave him home, but I'm afraid I can't leave him home on this particular day, lol.

CurlsNpearls12

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_attire-accessories_stubborn-camouflage-groomhelp?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:15Discussion:482ca590-64c6-4b96-b718-b1ab79d0ffcdPost:0dcafcbb-1763-4731-b1e3-b490dfa9d2af">Re:stubborn camouflage groom...help?</a>:
[QUOTE]What is up with all these grooms refusing to wear adult clothing? Heck, when we changed our ceremony from evening to afternoon, DH's biggest worry was that he wouldn't be able to wear his tux, because he was so excited about how sharp he looked in it. Seriously, OP, your wedding should be important enough for him to want to dress up for it. I'm all for "it's the groom's wedding too", but this is ridiculous.
Posted by StageManager14[/QUOTE]

Kudo's to your groom. This is the one and only thing I would change about FI. And I completely agree with this being ridiculous. I try not to degrade him, or say anything too rude, but I'm really at my wit's end, and I'm getting overly frusturated.

firsttimersluck

ok.. no. What you described sounds decent, but he needs to get over there. There are ways to incorporate his passions into the wedding, but ultimately this is not a wedding between him and his hobby. It's a wedding between him and his bride. 

How old is he? 

Tell him he can have a groom's cake that's all decked out, that you can have more earthy styled centerpieces and make it feel like an elegant, romantic forest or something.. but there is no reasno to be rednecks about the whole wedding ordeal. It's one day. He can dress in that crap 364 days of this year, but ONE DAY is not so much to ask. He needs to put on his big-boy pants and get over it. 

CurlsNpearls12

Thanks for explaining it like that..basically right out of my head. He's 27 and we've been together for over 6 years. I thought after that long he'd respect things I want, too.

mbrischoux

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_attire-accessories_stubborn-camouflage-groomhelp?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:15Discussion:482ca590-64c6-4b96-b718-b1ab79d0ffcdPost:b7674f7b-50ea-47de-8882-7fddb9a5aaf8">Re:stubborn camouflage groom...help?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re:stubborn camouflage groom...help? : How about "I have a headache.  Indefinitely."
Posted by LucyHC[/QUOTE]

Haha!  Harsh...I love it!

firefly33433

My FI was the same way for the longest time when we started dating 11 years ago.  Mostly because we both hunt together.  I did not want camo vests in any way for our wedding.  What I did was to incorporate things hunting realated in a very nice classy way.  For my bouqet and centerpices I am having pheasant tails that we have saved over time mixed in will fall colored flowers.  I let him pick out the camo garters that I will be wearing and then found some really nice camo boxers for him.

For me it helped to keep him included in the decisions and not fight it.  Keep it fun and all about the both of you.

Tina3104

My FI is a HUGE hunter too. We are actually doing the rustic theme to incorporate his style and elevating that to make it a more elegant affair. I actually showed him at the bridal shop the green camo vest and tie and HE nixed it. He said "I can wear that any other time, this day is special." Granted - we are in our 40s so we are over that whole 'my way' thing.

Tell your fiance that you want to incorporate hunting as part of the theme but it would make you very happy if on this one special day he did this for you. It is YOUR day too - and if it is all about hunting and camo - where do you fit in?

And if he continues to act like a spoiled brat, make him watch an episode of bridezillas. Then tell him you are considering nominating him for groomzillas.

retaviato

I have experience with this. I wouldn't begin to tell you what to do, but my experience is that  significant others who absolutely refuse to compromise on a matter of REAL importance to me and I have communicated that importance -- That person was not interested in sharing a reciprocal adult relationship that is based on respect for the feelings of the other (aka "me"). For me, and for me only -- that was a red flag. Every relationship is different, each with it's own set of dynamics, but you might want to consider if this is an isolated situation or if it's a power struggle.

babe915

I think he's being irrational, and this is coming from someone who once wanted a mossy oak wedding dress. My FI and I are both hunters but luckily he loves to get dressed up. I think what you have proposed is a fine meet-in-the-middle. I feel bad for you that someone at that age cannot understand what is appropriate and what isn't. I would go with what a PP said about letting him wear his camo jacket at the reception. Honestly I would ask him to wear the tux for the ceremony and pictures and then let him change into his camo, black jeans, and boots for the reception I feel like thats the only way you both are going to "win".