Attire & Accessories Forum

Anyone else not sure if their dress is 'the dress'?

My fiancé proposed to me a week before my parents and his mom were coming down to visit for our birthdays (we're 6 days apart) so I thought it would be special to go dress shopping with them. I tried on several dresses and the ones that I was leaning to before the families showed up all got shot down. I finally found a dress everyone like, but now 3 months later I'm sitting here wondering if I really like the dress myself!

I've tried on a handful of dresses since then, and my (sample) dress is still my favorite. But between being on pinterest and watching wedding shows for ideas I see all these brides lighting up about their dresses. Here I am knowing that my man is 'the one', but what about my dress?!

Maybe when it (finally) comes in, is altered to my body, and my mom blings it out (she used to add beading detail to my ice skating and dance costumes so to save money we got a plain dress) I will feel better about this.

Anyone else have this problem?

My mom also suggested I get a second dress for my reception and I haven't even told her my insecurities about my first dress! Ugh, so confused... Just found another dress shop in town, guess I'll head there sometime tomorrow.

I need advice :(

Re: Anyone else not sure if their dress is 'the dress'?

  • My recommendation is to stop looking at other dresses on Pinterest and wedding shows. I love my dress and am looking forward to getting married in it, but I didn't have the light up, omfg this is the one moment. It was just a nice, quiet happiness shared with my mom. Television makes you expect things that aren't necessarily going to happen in real life.

  • Yep! But I'm still gonna wear it. Maybe when we renew our vows I can get my dream dress.
  • Jager1219Jager1219 member
    500 Comments First Anniversary
    edited January 2013
    I never had that moment.  I'm a very logical person and I don't tend to have that OMG I need this whatever with any purchase.  Keep your venue in mind when looking at dress styles & if you can get photos of yourself in the dress, I also found that to help.  I found a dress that I really liked, but when I was in a different store in a different dress, I was able to compare what I was currently wearing to the photo of myself in the other dress I was thinking about.  Having the photo really helped me decide between the two.  I also ultimately picked my dress because it really suited the venue.  I've been in the sample of my dress a few times since and I know I made the right choice.

    ETA - The other thing that did it for me was once I had a veil on.  It sounds cheesy, but I was dead set against having a veil.  So when the consultant insisted that I wear a veil and I actually gave in, I realized that it was the right dress.
  • Definitely stop looking at dresses!  There will always another dress, and there will always be a million dresses that look better on other people.  You found a dress that people loved on you, and even you say its still your go to-- that means something!  It means you found THE dress, but you are not ready to stop looking.  So stop looking, because you found your dress.  Especially if your mom blings it up like you want, it will definitely look different then it does now.  I didn't cry when I found my dress, and I was definitely torn with another dress, but I knew the dress I picked was the right one for me-- I didn't need to fake cry to persuade me into picking it.  I still see dresses and say "that's pretty too" but I still know I love my dress and wouldn't trade it for anything.
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    Anniversary
  • I agree with the others. There are a million beautiful dresses out there, so there's bound to be more than one out there that you'll really love. To keep looking will only be crazy-making when you could be spending the time appreciating the dress you have. 

    I only tried on four dresses. My dress is the second or third one I tried on, and although I had a fantastic experience that day, afterwards I started regretting that it was such a whirlwind, and of course the doubt settled in immediately afterwards. Since there were several weeks that went by while I waited for my dress to come in, the fact that it was out of sight did not help things either. When my dress did come in, I had to try it on again, and as soon as I did---I remembered what I had loved about it to begin with---and promptly listened to all my friends and my sister (as I should have all along) and stopped window shopping, and I feel SO MUCH BETTER. I allowed myself another switch instead: I sold the tiara/headband that I was talked into in the headiness of the moment in favor of the flower clip that I had wanted all along. I really think for me my doubt was rooted in the feeling like I was short-changed somehow in the process. All the wedding porn out there (reality shows, magazines, etc.) really builds up expectations so crazy high that this is going to be the biggest deal ever that it makes it almost impossible for the real thing to measure up...this is why so many of us end up overspending so much and having buyers' remorse and second-guessing all of our decisions---and it's too bad, because it ends up detracting from the actual fun that we could be having if we could only relax a little bit.

    My advice--get your shopping impulses out on your accessories---you can second guess those all you want (and have time to return them and find other replacements) if you absolutely need to with much less fuss, drama, and expense than you will if you try to do the same with a dress, and just leave well enough alone when it comes to the dress itself. And if---like I did--you may be indulging in watching marathons of  "Say Yes to the Dress"...just say no. :)
  • Agree with others that you should stop looking.

    I didn't shed a single tear when I got my dress.  I ordered mine online without trying on any dresses (I would have had to drive six hours to the nearest city with a decent bridal shop and I just didn't have the time or money to do that since I'm a college student).  When I got it in, I tried it on and was like "Oh, it looks nice".

    It's just a dress.  In all honesty, I would be weirded out and think it's completely absurd if I saw someone crying over a dress: wedding or otherwise.
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