the mother in laws dress...

TIFANI25

Ok breathe, here is my BRIDEZILLA moment. the first one exactly 3 months before my wedding. FH and I decided we do not want an official line but we told select people we would like them in a certain color. moms in cream or champagne, men in black shirts, ladies in black dresses, neices in cream with black accents. this has all been going great. moms have had a little challenge with finding the right dress but i figured that is to be expected because dresses are hard sometimes. so yesterday the mother in law finds a TURQUOISE dress. FH loves it and tells his mom she can wear it. so this morning she send me a picture of it and says FH says I can wear this, hope you love it. while i do like the dress and think it is fun I am rather angry that he over rode my request for color and now says i am being angry over something stupid and it doesn't matter what color she wears.

so we will have men in black, ladies in black, neices in cream and mother in law in turquoise. super.

am i over reacting? should i let the mother in law wear whatever in the hell she wants? help ladies!

kristinanddan

Breathe, let it go, and let her wear whatever she feels pretty in. The drama this could create isn't worth it.

caitm730

I think that I would be mad too. And I would be a little bit ticked at my FI for not telling her no. I would put my foot down and tell her that turquoise just won't work.

Does anyone remember the Say Yes to the Dress where the entire bridal party was in pastels and the Mother of the Groom wanted to wear a bright red strapless dress? I think that woman had issues with someone else being the center of attention. Maybe the same kind of thing is going on with the MIL here.

mbcdefg

You are completely overreacting. You can only control the attire of the people in the wedding party - bridesmaids, groomsmen, ushers and ring bearers/flower girls. The parents are not included in the wedding party, so you cannot tell her what color she can and cannot wear. You could only say something if their outfits were incredibly inappropriate - like if your dad wanted to wear overalls to a country club with a dress code, or if FMIL's nipples were exposed.

Your parents and FI's parents get to pick their attire. You'd be incredibly selfish to deny her something that she clearly likes, it's foolish to reject a dress you like just because it doesn't meet your pre-conceived color choices, and it's a very bad idea to enter their family on the wrong foot over something as insignificant as a stupid color. It's a COLOR. Stop micromanaging her.

bridesrighthand

I would be ticked that he overrode you, but I wouldn't request certain colors in the first place.  IMO, everyone should wear what they want to wear and what they are comfortable in.  The matchy matchy stuff is silly, imo. 

stina93446

moms are not members of the bp and therefore should not have to get an ok from you or the groom over what color to wear. 

MOBinFL2008

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_attire-accessories_mother-laws-dress?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:15Discussion:62bdb0fd-d96d-468a-8fd8-90a9ed20ef59Post:d4a9c380-9663-4616-9102-4f0af03ee361">the mother in laws dress...</a>:
[QUOTE]Ok breathe, here is my BRIDEZILLA moment. the first one exactly 3 months before my wedding. FH and I decided we do not want an official line but we told select people we would like them in a certain color. moms in cream or champagne, men in black shirts, ladies in black dresses, neices in cream with black accents. this has all been going great. moms have had a little challenge with finding the right dress but i figured that is to be expected because dresses are hard sometimes. so yesterday the mother in law finds a TURQUOISE dress. FH loves it and tells his mom she can wear it. so this morning she send me a picture of it and says FH says I can wear this, hope you love it. while i do like the dress and think it is fun I am rather angry that he over rode my request for color and now says i am being angry over something stupid and it doesn't matter what color she wears. so we will have men in black, ladies in black, neices in cream and mother in law in turquoise. super. am i over reacting? should i let the mother in law wear whatever in the hell she wants? help ladies!
Posted by TIFANI25[/QUOTE)
Honestly, your mistake was in telling people who aren't in the wedding party what they had to wear.

If my daughter had done that, we would have had a very serious conversation about her preconceived notion that I was not capable of selecting something appropriate to wear as MoB.  Also, there is no way that my husband would have worn a black shirt.  When he dresses formally, he will only wear a white shirt.

I think you need to let your FMIL know that her dress will be just fine and then send a quick note to other non-wedding party members and tell them you had a momentary case of the wedding sillies and that they can certainly wear whatever color they wish.

moshi's paw

honestly i wouldn't care if my FMIL showed up in a pink tutu and tiara.  she's obviously going to wear whatever she wants because she's a grown woman and can make her own decisions without me telling her how to dress on HER SON'S wedding day.

noodle_oo

You are being insane for trying to force everyone to wear coordinating outfits.  That's just rude.  If they aren't in the wedding party, they can wear whatever they want to the wedding as long as it is appropriate.  You are overstepping your bounds and I wonder if everyone things you are acting like a bridezilla, just haven't told you yet.

jenn.daniel

Unless MOG is in the bridal party, you shouldn't tell her what to wear.  Let her wear what she wants.

aerinpegadrak

You don't get to tell anyone but your bridesmaids and groomsmen what they can wear, even as far as color.  If you're not having a WP, you don't get to tell ANYONE how to dress.  Period.

TIFANI25

thanks everyone for the thoughts! you all made good comments that helped my issue. both my mom and step mom wanted to be in the same general color scheme and so did the FMIL until now all the sudden. I guess my biggest issue now that i have thought about it more is wanting everyone to look good. i am not so fond of barely covered @$$ length dresses for a wedding and i think that is part of it and the color just freaked me out because i want to be selfish.

i know this is the worst thing but for one day of my life i want to be the center of attention and i think with FMIL in a really short bright turquiose dress she will be instead of me.

moshi's paw

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_attire-accessories_mother-laws-dress?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:15Discussion:62bdb0fd-d96d-468a-8fd8-90a9ed20ef59Post:63a3eae4-469e-4f14-af4a-cdb68d5b0de1">Re: the mother in laws dress...</a>:
[QUOTE] i know this is the worst thing but for one day of my life i want to be the center of attention
Posted by TIFANI25[/QUOTE]

I hope for your FH's sake you meant "my fiance and I"...

MOBinFL2008

Really, if you think your FMIL wearing a turquoise dress is going to steal your thunder, you have very serious problems.

Believe me, as long as you and your FI are gracious to all the guests at your wedding, the two of you will be the stars of the show.

lalap69

You are way overreacting.  You don't get to dictate the colour of anyone's attire but the WP - that means you don't get to all FMIL, who is a grown woman fully capable of dressing herself, what colour to wear.

So yes, FMIL should get to wear whatever the hell she wants.

cvl105

The fact that you even told your mother's what color to wear is beyond me...

dessence03

 I am going thru the same thing and bottom line is after all the times of back and fourth i had to give her the choice and of course that didnt turn out good either but it worked bc now she is wearing the color i need her to be in if she is walking down the isle n taking photos with us.. Dont budge its ur day and your vision  stick with it bc everything will change if you allow it too...

whew thought i was the only one but they (MIL) seem to be an issue all around lol