Mother of Groom - questionable attire

Southernbelle8888

We are having a small destination wedding on the beach in Key West. We've only invited family and are keeping it pretty casual. My future mother-in-law and sister-in-law don't have much money and so we are paying for their travel costs/accomodations/food so that they are able to attend the wedding. We have asked them to purchase their own dresses, but told them it just needs to be a casual sundress, nothing fancy. Maybe something they already own. My mom's dress is a teal, knee-length/scoop neck sleeveless sundress.

I just found out last night that they both purchased floor-length ball gowns (complete with crinoline, yikes!) from David's Bridal for the wedding. To make matters worse, my sister-in-law dress is off-white!!!

Once we found out, we tried to steer them away from those choices, telling them the dresses sounded too formal, saying we hoped they didn't spend too much money, concerns about the length due to the wedding being on the sand, etc.All pretty much fell on deaf ears... they way they look at it, their son/brother is only getting married once so they want to dress up for the occasion. In addition, they said they had purchased the dresses on layaway so if they changed their minds, they would lose the deposits they had left (I don't know anything about how layaway works).

I don't know what to do... the length and color particularly bother me, but i don't want to be a bridezilla. What they did completely goes against all the ettiquite rules i know, but i don't think they were being malicious... they just genuinely don't know. Should I just let it go? They probably don't ever get occasions to dress up so maybe i should just let them have fun. Should I be concerned that they are going to feel silly at our beach wedding in formal ball gowns when everyone else is wearing a sundress? Is it going to make my mom look silly in such a less formal dress in pictures? If I should say something, what do i say besides what I already said? Should i let my groom handle it?

HELP!!!!

AddieCake

Do nothing. They didn't listen to the practical advice, and they are free to wear whatever they want. My stepmother wore a long, ivory, sparkly dress (that she married my father in a few months before....so yes, her wedding dress) and I didn't say a word. It's not ideal, but it's not the end of the world, either. 

daubachsgirl23

Say nothing.  If their dresses look out of place or inappropriate, it will reflect poorly on them, not you.

Maggie0829

Listen to the other two posters.

You explained the formality of your wedding and made a suggestion as to what would fit within that formality.  They didn't listen.  They will be the one's that look out of place or over dressed.

You can't tell adults how to dress so you are just going to have to let it go.

Coghoot12

Agree with PP's.  There's nothing you can do.

As to your mother's dress, it really won't matter.  I think we only took a few pics with both sets of parents so that would really be the only ones both moms will be in. 

Maggie0829

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_attire-accessories_mother-of-groom-questionable-attire?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:15Discussion:751ca77a-f866-4259-9386-e2bcc82f51bbPost:c1a46bfe-f90a-4a74-b3d0-16cc9e018794">Re: Mother of Groom - questionable attire</a>:
[QUOTE]Do nothing, say nothing. The bride has no right to direct, or express opinions about, anyone's attire outside the wedding party's. Inappropriate dress reflects upon the guest, not the bride.  Let them look like idiots.  <strong>They'll be the ones who regret it in years to come.
</strong>Posted by RetreadBride[/QUOTE]

They will probably start regretting their choice 10 minutes after being outside in the Key West sun and heat :)

misssunshine17

Addie- post a photo of your step mom, please!

OP- yes, it sucks! But there's nothing you can do.

Sara G to be

let it go. My mom and brother barely talk because his wife made a big deal about her dress when they got married. It really hurt my mom a lot. Her dress was the one real thing she had any input on and it created massive drama and ruined their relationship. I do not speak to my brother at all. Not over the dress there was problems before, but the way his wife treated my mom over the dress brought everything to a head. Its just a dress.

Southernbelle8888

Thanks for the advice everyone... you are right, it's just not worth it in the end. I don't want them to feel silly, but if they do it's their own darn fault!

I'm letting it go!

AddieCake

Here's a pic. 

AddieCake

Hahaha!  No, no, not at all!