Re-thinking my dress choice =(

Missa513

Hello Gals,

I purchased a wedding dress earlier this year...and loved it up until last month.  I saw pictures of myself in it, and it wasn't what I remembered it to look like on me.  I didn't gain any weight or anything like that - although I would love to tone up and lose a few lbs.   I just wasn't super thrilled about the way it looked on me....just not flattering.

I tend to be a little...how do I put it....detail oriented, I guess.? I overanalyze just about everything....always thinking there is something better out there.  So, I feel like once I get it out of my system and try on more dresses I will either find the right one...or...realize I already have the right one.

Tonight, one of my MOHs is coming with me to try on dresses...and I truly hope I feel better about the dress situation. 

Anyone else go thru this?? Or have any advice?

Tanq&Tonic

I think you should think long & hard before going tonight to try on dresses.  Assuming financially you're fine to just buy a 2nd dress, you should consider that your wedding is less than 4 months away -- some of the styles you love may no longer be accessible because you don't have enough lead time to order.  You will be limited to designers who can expedite to 8-10 weeks, or sample dresses.

It is a mistake to try on more dresses in the hopes that you will remind yourself how much you loved the first one.  Put the first one on...if you really hate it, or feel there's no way you will feel good about yourself in it, then just forget it completely and shop again (remembering the limitations).  But, if you're just getting 'dress cold feet', then step away, breathe, remember why you loved it to begin with, and DO NOT try on anything else.  Really.

smore154

I agree- really really think about trying more on. I'm sure you look awesome in the one you have. If you loved it when you bought it- I'm sure theres a part of you that still loves it.

However, if you really hate it- and can't see yourself wearing it the day of your wedding, then of course you need to look at more- knowing that you may not get certain ones in time.

Don't second guess yourself. Yes- you know what, there are probably nicer dresses out there, and ones that you may look better in. But isn't that the case with almost everyone?

marissa_claire

I would personally tell you  not to go tonight.  Odds are you are overthinking it.  Do you remember how you felt when you decided it was the dress?  Odds are you weren't like "Hmm, I guess it looks okay on me" but rather "This is it.  This is the one."  There's a reason you picked your dress.  I think you'll only be stringing yourself along and be in a much worse situation if you go back out and look.

Missa513

I definitely have thought about it....since I last tried on the dress. I completely understand the time limitation.  it's not that I hate the dress, by any means, but I guess I thought I looked different in it. Once I saw the pictures, it just didn't look as flattering as I originally thought.

Maybe I can upload a pic or two and get some opinions? 

Thanks for the advice thus far, ladies - much appreciated.

sister2groom

I agree, trying on other dresses will NOT help the situation. At best,you'll find a dress similar to yours you like. At worst, you'll find a dress you like much more that you don't have time to get and will make you feel badly. But you don't need to try on other dressses to see how you look in yours, just try on yours again.

You'd be much better off going out with your BM to lok for accessories and then coming home, puting o your dress and doing your hair, makeup and accessories to see if there's any way you do like you dress.

Tanq&Tonic

Absolutely, upload some photos :-)  I like sister's advice on spending the energy and money to personalize / accessorize it!

soontobeschooley

Its stunning and you are stunning!!!

Go with it sister!!

kedorsett

It looks really pretty on you!!

marissa_claire

I think you look AMAZING in that dress!  It looks really flattering on your figure.  I'm not sure why you don't like it!  

opalsky007

Oh, honey, I love that on you. It has such a beautiful shape.

Please don't go shopping for another one. I'm worried that you'll panic over the short amount of time you have left and pressure yourself into buying something you're not happy with.

Why don't you start thinking about accessories? Sometimes it can be hard to get your head around the whole look when you're standing in your living room in bad lighting with your hair down and no undergarments on. Think about jewelry. Play with hairstyles. Try on shoes. It'll start to feel more real, I promise.

Tanq&Tonic

OMG!  Your curves!  Gorgeous!  That dress shows off your body really nicely.  Stop overanalyzing, and as sister & opal say, work on completing the look with hair, shoes, and accessories.

Out of curiosity, what part of it do you find less than flattering?

Amisslis

I am late to the ball on this one but I think that you look stunning in that dress. I know that the opinions of a bunch of strangers do not hold much weight. However, sometimes people with no emotional or personal stake in the matter see things clearer than those who are really close to the situation. You DO look amazing. The dress IS amazing on you. All of the PPs know what they are talking about--especailly Opal.
 

Missa513

Ladies, I truly appreciate all of this feedback and help thru this little pickle.   I also appreciate the kind words

To answer the question about exactly WHAT I don't find flattering...and it's the tummy area.  I just don't see the 'curves'...and I look like a box....with a bit of a belly (what I like to call my turtle shell, haha).

I am concerned that the material (I believe it's taffeta? but could be wrong) will wrinkle al night long and in pictures will look less than stellar.

blackraine

OMG... That little tummy??? You have a beautiful figure and that dress totally hugs you were it should... If you are concerned about the tummy area try it on with a good pair of Spanx... If I were you I would try it on with all the bells and whistles... Just to give you the true felling... Your Future husbands jaw will drop when he sees his gorgeous Bride walking down they aisle... STUNNING!!!!

kayakrunhike

Okay, first of all- you look great.  Take a deep breath.  Have you had any fittings yet?  Dresses can fit a lot differently once they have been altered.  Also, with the type of ruching and draping you have in your dress, as well as the fabric, some wrinkles are a possibility.  However, you will get it pressed before the wedding- and it makes a huge difference in how the dress looks as well.  If you're really worried about your tummy area (why?!), try spanx or something similar and see if that helps when you try on the dress.

If you are truly concerned about wrinkles in pictures, consider doing them before the ceremony.  My DH and I did this, and it was awesome.  We got to relax together before the wedding, and my hair, makeup and dress looked great.

One other thing- once you actually hit the day of, wrinkles will be the last thing on your mind.

Tanq&Tonic

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_attire-accessories_re-thinking-dress-choice?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:15Discussion:76f8e74e-72e4-4ad6-b65b-d2296f8162fePost:a5772a80-6d07-4f8a-bb9a-f2a5bcd4868c">Re: Re-thinking my dress choice =(</a>:
[QUOTE]I just don't see the 'curves'...and I look like a box....with a bit of a belly (what I like to call my turtle shell, haha).
Posted by Missa513[/QUOTE]
Honey, you need to not be so hard on yourself.  Let me help you with the visualization...RED CURVES TO DIE FOR!
<span class="photo_container pc_m"><img class="pc_img" src="http://farm6.static.flickr.com/5249/5226938826_696bcc77d9_m.jpg" border="0" alt="curves" width="136" height="240" /></span>

Also, I can't tell that you have a tummy at all -- the design includes rouching there to hide *anything* that may be lurking.  Seriously, you look great.  Give yourself a break & try to see things from your FI's eyes...he's a very lucky guy.

ogrady88

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_attire-accessories_re-thinking-dress-choice?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:15Discussion:76f8e74e-72e4-4ad6-b65b-d2296f8162fePost:d42ab1e7-be68-44e3-a369-79b7b7861948">Re: Re-thinking my dress choice =(</a>:
[QUOTE]Okay, first of all- you look great.  Take a deep breath.  Have you had any fittings yet?<strong>  Dresses can fit a lot differently once they have been altered</strong>.  Also, with the type of ruching and draping you have in your dress, as well as the fabric, some wrinkles are a possibility.  However, you will get it pressed before the wedding- and it makes a huge difference in how the dress looks as well.  If you're really worried about your tummy area (why?!), try spanx or something similar and see if that helps when you try on the dress. If you are truly concerned about wrinkles in pictures, consider doing them before the ceremony.  My DH and I did this, and it was awesome.  We got to relax together before the wedding, and my hair, makeup and dress looked great. One other thing- once you actually hit the day of, wrinkles will be the last thing on your mind.
Posted by kayakrunhike[/QUOTE]

This exactly.

amandamcconnell

I totally agree with all PPs, you look fabulous!!! And not at all boxy

luvsoonipi

It's a beautful dress and looks amazing on. Just throw on a pair of spanx or some other support to make you feel more confident, a pair of killer heels and other accessories.... and remember your beaming smile is what people will remember the most!

kimp67

I think you look great in it!!!!!!!

lalap69

I think your dress is beautiful.  The main difference I'm seeing between the two pictures is the lighting and it looks as though you might be wearing a bigger crinoline in the first.  But I don't think you need a new dress.  I think on the wedding day when you're all done up and you have a professional photographer snapping away the dress will be everything you wanted.

nontradduo

Don't re-think a thing, except your attitude toward your dress and yourself.
You look beautiful!
You even said you weren't wearing the proper undergarments in the August pic(though I think you look just beautiful in that picture).
Get yourself in your proper undergarments, try it on again, have someone take a picture of you in it again.  Take a really long, unbiased look at yourself before you decide you need to go dress shopping again.

CvilleClaire

Honey, you look STUNNING in that dress and those pictures were taken with poor lighting, probably with a point-and-shoot camera as opposed to the SLR that will be used by the professionals, and without formal hair and make up.  If you are looking this beautiful now, just imagine how gorgeous you will look with all the details in place!

Have you see the consultants on TV say that you need to stop shopping when you find "the one"?  It's true!  You found it.  You win!

Missa513

May I just say that all of you have really helped my perspective on things...your feedback was great.  Sometimes, as Amisslis said, the opinions of people who have no emotional/personal stake can help and you all did just that.

I am going to try the dress on again...proper undergarments, veil and all...and then see how I feel/what I think

Thank you all so much for taking the time out to help
I Knotties

meganb1977

Agree with pp's, that dress is great and no need to re-think your choice, just get the right undergarments if you're self-conscious about the tummy area.  You've GOT to give it a chance with the veil/headpiece, shoes, jewelry, and all the works.  I LIKED my dress okay when I bought it but I LOVED it when I added the veil, I am self-conscious too but once I saw my whole outfit that all melted away and I felt like "I'm gonna rock this look!"

Moneypenny424

I'm sort of late to this too, but I think you look great in the dress (and if I didn't think so, I wouldn't have responded).  The shape is really flattering on you!  Like PP said, undergarments, alterations and your accessories will help how you feel in the dress. 

Don't go looking for another dress--you definitely already have a winner!

opalsky007

Glad we could help! I had a lot of doubts about my dress at first too, and getting feedback here really helped a lot, so I'm glad you decided to share.

Tanq, gold star for that re-visualization. Genius.

Missa513

Thanks for the honesty Moneypenny424

Tanq&Tonic maybe I should have a red line stitched on my dress for "effect"...hahaha  so everyone can see the curves I couldn't.  LOL  I agree with opalsky007...gold star for you.

You don't realize how much talking about things and *breathing* will calm a stressful bride...

baileykm

The only difference I can see between the before and after pics is the fullness of the bottom.  The top of the dress looks great on you!  Maybe you could try it on with a petticoat and get the same fullness on the bottom that you had originally.  I think its definately worth keeping!

Missa513

baileykm  - you are right. I didn't not have any proper undergarments on...so the fulless went down a bit.  I think also, when I try it on again, I want to wear my Spanx...then see if I still am self-conscious about my turtle shell a.k.a. tummy.