Attire & Accessories Forum

Guests Dressing For Our Wedding

Sorry but this is going to be a little vent

     My FI & I are normally not fancy people. We are kind of redneck as people can say. We did agree on a nice very formal wedding though because we wanted to do one thing nice in our lives. Our invitations were very nice & formal also. They were sent out and now I've got people calling us on how to dress.
  These people are saying "This is a casual thing right like you & Rich are. We can wear jeans right?" And then I have to tell htem "No this is a formal wedding. please wear are dress and you husband to wear a button up shirt with a tie & jacket." Then they seem confused I guess is the proper word.
     I told this to my FMIL & she says "Well you'll probably have people dressed from ball gowns to jeans & a tshirt" I wanted to scream!!! So now I'm worried about the people who do NOT call if they  are just assuming that since my FI & I are normally "rednecks" that they can show up in jeans & a tshirt.
  She also told me since our wedding is at a Golf & Country Club this makes them assume it's casual. When I think of Golf & Country Club I think nice, elegant & rich people. I mean what do you all think Golf & Country Club means?? Ugg I'm just worried now.
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Re: Guests Dressing For Our Wedding

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    Don't let it worry you. How does what other people wear affect your day? It doesn't, unless you let it bother you.

    I honestly don't have a clue who wore what to my wedding, even looking back at the photos. I do recall some people pleasantly surprising me, like my normally sloppy cousin who showed up in a three-piece suit. But the rest of them, no idea.

    On the off chance that Uncle Ernie does show up wearing jeans, cowboy boots and a bolo tie, he probably won't make it into your photos. And if he does, just don't put those photos into your album.
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    Does the Country Club have  its own dress code?  That's really the only circumstance in which it would be appropriate to contact guests about attire.

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    No they do not. And I'm sure I wont remember I was just hoping everything would be very nice, elegant & formal since we did decide to do something out of our usual & spent alot of money & put alot of time & effort into everything. As I know every bride does. Plus I can hear it now if someone shows up in jeans my Fi will be saying "That Lucky bastard" lol
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    Do you have a wedding website? I know there is a section in the website for "Guest information" and you could write information in there about how to dress and send the link to your guestlist?
    I went to a wedding once and they wanted us to wear specific colors (red, white, and/or black) and that is how I found out about it. However this won't work if your guestlist is not very technologically up-to-date.
    I would mainly say "no jeans" most people will wear nicer tops when they are not wearing jeans.

    Oh, and I am the same way! Our wedding is also down south where.. lets just say some people don't understand that weddings are formal events anymore.. so i am sure we will run across the same issue.
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    Yes we do have a wedding website. I sent the link to the very few guests who are connected to the internet.  Some of the questions I've been asked are like "Are you serious? Common Sense?" I'm saying that because my FSIL called up asking if she can wear a balck dress which I said is fine (thats not the issue) then sahe asks "Well how should Kirk dress? Jeans and a nice shirt?" I explained to her nicely "Well since he is the brother of the groom he should  wear dress pants a button up shirt, a tie & a jacket because he will be in the pictures" To me that's just common sense stuff because he is the BOG and even though Rich wasn't in his wedding party Rich still had to dress in a suit to take pictures with them.
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    Too bad that the country club doesn't have a dress code, I don't know of a single one here that allows jeans anywhere in it's dining room or on the course or anything.

    Unfortunately since that's not the case, you can definitely offer suggestions if someone asks but I don't think you can dictate what your guests wear so it's probably a good thing that people are asking you because it gives you the chance to tell them your expectations!
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    The people who will be in the majority of pictures will be your family who will probably know what to wear from you talking about it.  As for candids and stuff it doesn't matter.  You can't call everyone on the guest list and say "make sure you dress up since its formal."  We are having a formal reception, and I've already been told that one of my dads friends has shown up to every wedding in jeans and a button down, and thats fine with me.  He'll be there, and thats all we care about. 

    Did you write on your reception card "formal reception."  That probably would have been the best way to go, but obviously its too late for that.  I wouldn't worry much about it.  Put something on your website, and have people maybe mention through word of mouth to others.  But unless there's a dress code there you can't really tell people what to wear.  Good luck,

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    I think that despite what you tell people, someone is going to show up in casual attire.  It has happened at every wedding I've ever attended!  I would put on your website that formal attire is preferred, and see if you can get family members or close friends to help you spread the word to people who may not look at the website!
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