Attire & Accessories Forum

Cheap Future Mother In Law

How do you kindly tell a future mother in law that you do not want all of her friends/family to do everything? She tells me she has an aunt who is a florist and another church friend who bakes cakes, but only for "special people." She is also only contributing financially to help with the rehearsal dinner, which is going to be her church friends cooking everything. Yes, we are trying to do our wedding on a budget, but I also want it to look classy and my parents want the same. They are contributing a decent amount of money and are willing to pay for a cake and possibly nice flowers. I don't want her to think I'm being rude, but I also want everything to be very nice. Any help or thoughts would be great!

Re: Cheap Future Mother In Law

  • Options
    Just because you're not paying a stranger to do it doesn't mean it won't be classy.  OR her friends may not know what they're doing and it could be a disaster.  Try to find out how good their work is.  Say you'll consider them, but you want to check out other people too, for comparison.  Actually meet with the people and treat them like the other vendors.  Maybe you'll end up with her aunt doing the flowers for free but going to a bakery for the cake.  If you fmil knows you seriously considered her people, she shouldn't feel hurt if you do go with someone else.

    It's not necessarily that she's being cheap - it could be that that's how she's used to weddings being put together, with lots of family and friends helping.
  • Options
    I would just let the RD go. The niceness RD doesn't really mean anything for the wedding. We had a backyard bbq and a nice black tie optional event the next day. I don't think she's being cheap. I think you should let her plan this, since it's tradition that the groom's family host the RD. You have other things to worry about, and hey if it's not a nice RD (Which I doubt that will happen) everyone knows that she's hosting, not you.
    Sunbonnet or cone of shame? You be the judge! Trixie's Blog
    My Planning Bio
    My Married Bio updated March 4
  • Options
    How do you know that her friends won't do a great job and save you and your parents some money?
  • Options
    I would also definitely talk to the people in question, see their work and decide then. PPs are right, they might actually surprise you.  I made all the jewelry for my friend's wedding, just because she "has a friend who makes jewelry" doesn't mean it wasn't nice.
  • Options
    Not trying to come across as rude - but let it be.  Let her do the RD.  Talk to her "vendors" directly and see if they can do what you are thinking.

    I personally can't think of anything nicer and classier than a gracious bride and a family and friend filled wedding.  That's what I want for my own wedding...

    Good luck!
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards