Thank you all for your help lately
I finally bought shoes... I bought 2 pairs... yes, one pair is 4 inches and 1 pair is flats... So I still have to worry about tripping either way (either because the heels are too high or cuz my dress is too long with the flats)... but I think it'll work out... I just loved both...
http://intheircloset.com/jimmy-choo-jill-studded-jelly-flats (I can't find a pic, but they look like these, but no sparkles in the back, just the front of the shoe)
and -
http://www.davidsbridal.com/Product_WHITLEY-Satin-T-Strap-Keyhole-Wedge_Buy-Online-Accessories-Shoes (in lapis - dark purple - to match the BMs)
I'm thinking while most people wear their heels and switch to flats later, i might do that in reverse... wear the flats for the ceremony, when i've got to just stand there for 30-40 mins... and wear the heels when i'm going to be dancing and walking around and people will actually see the shoes... not sure yet.