Plus sized bridesmaid - HELP!

[Deleted User]

Once again, I need some advice...

One of my bridesmaids is very plus sized and is 15 inches larger than the largest size bridesmaid dress we found.  Her plan has been to spend the year before the wedding to take time for herself and lose weight and get healthy. That's awesome for her, and I hope she does it, but she hasn't started yet.

When I went with her to get measured, we talked to the people at the bridal shop asking their suggestion of what we were going to do so she would have a dress that fit.  They talked to their seamstress who said that the only option was to buy the same fabric of the dress and have one made to fit her.  I also talked to another seamstress not affiliated with the bridal shop, and she said the same thing.  

My BM said that she thinks that they should just be able to add panels of fabric to the sides of the dress.  Both seamstresses said that if you do that, not only do you lose the structure, but also, since she is that much larger, she will most likely need added length in the bust area to cover everything.

I told this to her, but she thinks it's going to cost too much, so she just wants to order the largest size and get fabric to add to it.  She also says she plans to be the size of the largest dress by May (when the wedding is).  Well, I can't rely on her losing that much weight, and I don't want her to look terrible with her dress falling down and not covering her lady parts, but she won't budge.

I don't expect her to spend a ton of money, and I don't want her to, but I also want her to look and feel comfortable.

WHAT DO I DO??

Knittibell

Yeah, honestly you can't expect her to lose that much weight by May. If she did, it would be GREAT, especially for her health as she sounds like she is really dangerously overweight.

You do have a while before you need to order these dresses, right? I mean, at least until this January? I'd say wait until then, and see if she has made any actual progress in losing the weight. If she has, then maybe her plan will work, if she has not, you have legitimate grounds to ask her to buy the fabric and have the dress made. She has 10 months to make some serious progress, and maybe the added incentive of the extra money she'll have to shell out for her dress will help motivate her.

Lilou902

Are you getting your dresses from somewhere like David's Bridal that carries plus sized gowns?  If not is it a possiblity to see if they have a size that would work for her?

aerinpegadrak

Have you already picked the dress?  I one of my girls is about a size 18 and one is a 22, so I never even considered trying to put everyone in the same dress, I just told them to wear somethng black.  It might be best to just give all of your girls a fabric swatch and let them pick their own dresses, and the plus-sized girl can go to a shop that has dresses actually designed for larger sizes (which is where both of my girls got theirs).

No one wants to be The Fat Bridesmaid, which is what usually happens when a bigger girl tries to squeeze into a dress designed for a stick figure.  You should try to be flexible with her.

Knittibell

I was assuming that you were talking about 15in larger than the largest plus size... if that's NOT the case, then definitely look into designers that do plus size, or, as PP suggested, tell the girls which color to get and leave it at that.

[Deleted User]

I've searched everywhere for designers that make dresses larger than what I chose, but none of them do..

aerinpegadrak

The specialty designers my plus-sized friends shop at go upwards of size 32.  What size is your friend?

[Deleted User]

Probably close to a size 40.  

Knittibell

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_attire-accessories_plus-sized-bridesmaid?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:15Discussion:9de4cf46-d392-4d65-ac88-446d4f6429acPost:305c0f4c-ed8f-42bb-b433-b25d8d47c53d">Re: Plus sized bridesmaid - HELP!</a>:
[QUOTE]Probably close to a size 40.  
Posted by celebfash26[/QUOTE]

Yeah, in that case, I'm standing by my original post. The sad thing is, if you are this big, there is an extra price to pay for it, other than your health. :(

kpwedkk

Does your friend have other dresses in her closet that she can use?

bigvoice3

I would suggest either picking an easy color that she could find a dress in (i.e black, brown, something like that).  Or, a seamstress did tell my friend (who was two sizes bigger than David's, to buy two dresses and make a whole new one.  She couldn't guarentee that it would look identical, but that it would fit and flatter her.  It is twice the price, but it is an option.

I would also suggest watching the style of dress.  My friend was too big for certain DB dresses (like slinky, fitted dresses), but we found one that fit her.  It flattered her and she loved it just like the rest of the bridesmaids.  There are pics in my married bio. 

aerinpegadrak

Where does she normally get dress clothes?  Even if she is getting something custom-made, I doubt it would take more than a few months.  If she really wants to try to lose the weight, go ahead and let her.  A few months from now, she'll probably have a better idea of realistically what size she'll be for the wedding.

Ultimately getting the dress is her only responsibility as a bridesmaid, so you just need to trust her that she's going to be able to pull it off.  When you're trying to lose weight, having a good support system is essential.

ring_pop

Can you pay for the difference between the cost of the custom made dress and the other dresses?

Lisa8888

You knew she wouldn't be able to lose that much weight. You should have known right from the beginning that it was going to be a huge problem finding a dress in her size. I think both of you have to be realistic. She needs to have a dress made for her. It makes no sense to purchase the largest size and just add panels. She has to expect to pay more due to her size. If she isn't willing to do that, I don't think she should be a BM. Her idea of just adding panels will look ridiculous and people will be laughing at her.

colovegirl

I think buying a plus size wedding bridesmaid dress off the rack may not suit your body the best. I also have big body shape and cutom-made free mine in a online store trustedeal.com. Now the dress has been arrived me, everything is turned out better.

Beachy730

I would definitely wait and see what if she has made any progress on her weight.  You definitely don't need to order before January if the wedding is in May so she should have made some good progress by then if she is serious about it. 

I strongly suggest going with the idea of picking a color and letting everyone find any dress they like in that color.  Even if you love the idea of everyone in matching dresses, its definitely going to stress you out up until the day of your wedding about how her dress will fit.  I say do yourself, her, and really all of your girls, a favor and let them wear whatever they want in a certain color.  She obviously has stores where she finds clothes that fit her, so I'm sure at least one of them carries dresses.

longman801

maybe you like:
http://www.theweddingstyle.com/plus-size-wedding-dresses-c-26.html
good luck

colovegirl

Go to the site www. trustedeal.com where custom-make free in any size and color.