I have to get this off my chest...

Winterstarlips25

 I just got a text message from my step-aunt who lives 3 hours away... Her text message asks, "Is your wedding going to be formal or will people be in pants" I Responded "The WP will be Formal. The guests will be Semi-Formal (Hopefully.) My wedding is being held at a local casino and is costing us $3000 for the venue and catering alone. Am I expecting too much by thinking people should give me enough Respect and dress in Dickies and a collared button down shirt? 

Winterstarlips25

She never replied back; what is that about?

drandreasalazar

smh
In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_attire-accessories_i-have-to-get-this-off-my-chest?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:15Discussion:ae6468de-0fd8-438f-a955-f440081f85a0Post:ffa23c4e-7181-4616-9f3c-6989af9dbd43">Re: I have to get this off my chest...</a>:
[QUOTE]She never replied back; what is that about?
Posted by Winterstarlips25[/QUOTE]

Avion22

You told her that your wedding venue cost $3000???

I would just text her back and say that pants are fine, and you're sure that she will look lovely in whatever she chooses to wear.  

Sometimes people are bad at texting back (especially if their initial question was answered), so I wouldn't expect a text back.

Winterstarlips25

 No, I didn't tell her what the venue cost. I was giving information to those that commented. This is my second wedding along with my FI and my first time I was getting married for totally different reasons than I am now; my first was a low-key wedding and it was acceptable that everyone could wear jeans if they wanted. I do not feel it is appropriate this time around...that's all.

Avion22

Okay, sorry, you forgot the closing quotation mark, so I couldn't tell what you actually told her.

Do you think she'd wear jeans?  Or do you think she's more likely to wear a nice pantsuit, or slacks with a blouse or sweater?  Is she just not a "dress" person?

I have two aunts who are twins, and they always wear jeans.  To everything.  They wore jeans to my cousins weddings, to my sisters weddings, and to my wedding.  All were semi-formal to formal events.  And they looked great.  Black jeans with nice heels or boots and a dressy top can look really classy, and they were comfortable.  It was more important to me to have them there with me.  If anyone thought they were dressed inappropriately, nobody said anything...and even so, it would have reflected on the aunts and not on me.   But like I said, I was just glad to have them there, and they honestly looked fine.   

My recommendation remains the same.  You can tell her it's "semi-formal" and that whatever she wants to wear is fine.  If she's the type to wear jeans, then she'll do it no matter what the dress code is.  But she may elect to wear a nice pant suit or palazzo pants or something else perfectly appropriate.

Winterstarlips25

 I am not sure if the text was really about her family, (Husband, and 2 sons) I'm thinking she asked because if it was formal then maybe her husband and son's wouldn't come. Which is fine by me. I actually felt obligated inviting them. (She is my deceased grandfather's step daughter that i see maybe twice a year.) She even mentioned a few weeks ago that she would be bringing her MIL that lives with them. I will be telling her when she RSVP's that "I'm sorry, but we are having a small wedding, and we have a limited budget that we can't invite everyone."

calliopeia2013

Do be aware that "semi-formal" doesn't mean the same thing as slacks and a collared shirt.  Semi-formal attire for men requires a full suit, and slightly underdressed would be a sport coat and tie.  If all you want is for men to be dressed in slacks and a collared shirt, the best phrase would probably be "business casual."  I just want to let you know, because if you tell people the wedding is semi-formal, they will be under the impression that they have to come in a suit for men, or a fancy cocktail dress for ladies.

Winterstarlips25

@ Calliopeia Thank you, I will be texting her back right away.

Liane28

I would just tell her to come in whatever way she feels comfortable.  It will not affect you in any way....

amanda1611t

Last thing you need to worry about is how guests look.

consider it water under the bridge she comes as she is.

jcrmc

If someone asks, it's a delicate situation...I'm having an outdoor bbq wedding, so I am not formal at all...I hope people will realise it's not really appropriate for ripped jeans and bikini tops etc. but I don't expect suits either.

I would tell her that it is neither black-tie nor beach attire, but somewhere you feel comfortable in between. My cousin's wedding was pretty formal, but I never wear dresses (it'll be weird for my family and friends to see me in my wedding dress!) but I wore very nice dressy almost palazzo pants and a very dressy top and fit in just fine.