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New Hampshire

Issues with my invitations-vent/help needed

Originally I wanted to do have DYI invitations for my wedding but my mom found a place Invited Design Studio in Hampstead, NH and convinced me to go with them for my invitations.  Originally she promised to pay for the whole amount as long as we kept it reasonable. 

I met with the owner twice and expressed my concerns of having a small budget and not needing bells and whistles.  The woman made a joke about how to use a computer at one point when my mom didn't understand what an excel spreadsheet was.  After this meeting my mom  called behind my back and complained how offended she was and how she will not deal with them further but asked that I not find out about the conversation.  The owner called me to express her appologies.  I feel after this happened our service has gone down hill.

I also expressed many times that my FI and I want to have our invitations state "Adult Only Reception" even if it's tacky or not traditional.  I understand that guests should get the point by having their invitation addressed only to themselves not their children.  I also understand that word of mouth should work, but it's not for us and I just want black and white no kids.

After doing some research here on the knot I found that you also can/maybe should word your invitations a certain way if you and your FI are paying for the wedding not your parents ie:

together with their parents
Mrs and Mr so and so
Mr and Mrs. so and so
request your presence etc...

Long story short the total cost of our invitations was over $300 which to me is far too much money.  They offered in January to address and mail the invitations as a courtesy to us for the cost of the stamps.  We worked out a date to mail the invitations and a RVSP date.

Since then we have changed our RSVP date to give us enough time to get our food choices to the reception site and track down stragglers etc.  We also requested again to have Adult only reception put on the invitation and sent our food choices. 

When we finally received a proof of the invitation in the mail the other day none of the changes we've requested have been put on there.  My FI followed up and they wrote back to say that the "tactful" way of stating it would be "adult reception" to follow and made that change.  I understand their concern, but this is what we want.

They also seem to be getting rid of us by trying to finish our invtations and mail them now for a Sept wedding which you lovely ladies have been nice enough to advise me is way to early to send them.  We had to follow up and ask that they wait to mail the invitations until a later more appropriate date, and have not heard a confirmation of this.

Will we be rude if we send off a word document with the specifics of how we want our invitation to be worded?  Ie reception details, food choices, RSVP date and FI and Me together with our Parents so and so request...I just feel so frustrated at this point and we've already put down a 50% deposit so we can't just back out and buy DYI invitations and save ourselves the hassel. 

I know there are bigger problems in the world, it just feels like this should have been done a long time ago and I was under the impression that the customer is always right.

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