Future Sister In Law Dress Drama

[Deleted User]

My FSIL doesn't really like my fiance and I right now. We picked out our wedding date, and it happened to be the same date she got married to her husband. Before signing the contract I told my FMIL the date we were thinking about picking for the wedding. I was never once told once it was the same date. Her husband left over four years ago, and I wasn't around for any of their anniversaries. She doesn't want to share the day with anyone else, and it has brought drama in our lives. Right after I signed the contract I asked before I continue planning wedding stuff I will be happy to see if I can change the date. She promised it wasn't an issue, and she is fine. Now she is against sharing the date again, and wants to wear a "slutty dress" to the wedding to prove a point. Should we just allow it, and put her in pictures? Or should we put our foot down?? It stresses me out :-(

[Deleted User]

She isn't in the wedding party, but the way the wedding is set up they will walk in front of the other guests to take their seats. We have a venue where they seat above the guests to get a better view. I don't want her walking in front like that, but I want her to sit with her parents. She wants an open back dress, and that means not having the proper foundations. :-( I'm thinking too much into it.

kmmssg

If she isn't in the wedding, this is none of your business.  I think your decision to try to keep her out of the recessional due to her dress will have repercussions for years.  No one will care about her dress, and you have bigger and better things to worry about.  She isn't a prop for pictures so let this go.  Your wedding is one day, she will be family for life.  Let this go.

button6004

Honestly, OP, her attire will reflect on HER, not you.  What will reflect on you is how you react.  Let her be a 5 year old and pitch a fit, and you act cool as a cucumber.  Seriously.  Keeping her from pictures or telling her she cant dress how she wants will only reinforce her dislike of you and will give her fuel to gossip. Be the mature, happy bride and let it slide.

[Deleted User]

Put your foot down. It's your day and everyone has one person that is going to be difficult. You have been more than accommodating and it's time to worry about yourself. Also make sure your bridesmaids deflect any drama she may add on your day. All that being said I would sit with her one on one. Do your best to not get emotional even if she does. Find out why she is acting this way. This wedding is prob bringing up some painful things for her and that's why she's acting out

button6004

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_attire-accessories_future-sister-in-law-dress-drama-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:15Discussion:b198b977-bc74-4731-b5de-f9a091e3aa47Post:d818cf51-1fce-4c09-ad79-2f4fcda2eecc">Re:Future Sister In Law Dress Drama</a>:
[QUOTE]Put your foot down. It's your day and everyone has one person that is going to be difficult. <strong>You have been more than accommodating and it's time to worry about yourself.</strong> Also make sure your bridesmaids deflect any drama she may add on your day. All that being said I would sit with her one on one. Do your best to not get emotional even if she does. <strong>Find out why she is acting this way.</strong> This wedding is prob bringing up some painful things for her and that's why she's acting out
Posted by 74gutters[/QUOTE]

#1: How do you figure OP has been "more than accommodating?" 

#2: OP knows why she is acting this way.  She is upset about their wedding date.

Your advice is crap.  OP, this isnt an issue you can "put your foot down" about.  She isnt in the bridal party, and she isnt a child.  She is an adult and it is going to make you look like a crazy bridezilla if you try "putting your foot down" about her attire.  And seriously, for all you know, these are baseless threats and she will show up looking nice.

Gutters, please go back to whatever hole you crawled out of.

B2Z728

Your FSIL's attire will only reflect on herself, not you. Trust me, this is not a hill to die on and the day of your wedding you will probably care less. Reacting to her drama is what she wants, don't give in. Smile when you see her that day and say she looks lovely.

csweaney

Just let it go. If FSIL wants to look like an idiot let her

AddieCake

It won't affect you at all if she wears a slutty dress. All that will happen is she will look slutty and a few people may whisper behind HER back that she looks slutty. 

Andama08

I agree with PP if she wants to look like a slut let her. She'll be he one regretting it years from now. You can pull out pictures and show her how childish she really was.

misssunshine17

In Response to Re: Future Sister In Law Dress Drama:
[QUOTE]Honestly, OP, her attire will reflect on HER, not you.  What will reflect on you is how you react.  Let her be a 5 year old and pitch a fit, and you act cool as a cucumber.  Seriously.  Keeping her from pictures or telling her she cant dress how she wants will only reinforce her dislike of you and will give her fuel to gossip. Be the mature, happy bride and let it slide.
Posted by button6004[/QUOTE]

Read this and pretend I wrote it.

[Deleted User]

Thanks for all the advice. I know its a touchy day for her, but she should be happy for her brother. I'm not going to say anything about her dress, and enjoy the day I've been looking forward to. I think it's sad she is even thinking about this. She told me when they say does anyone object she will take a big drink out of her straw and make a loud slurp. It just gets old. I will let it go, and let her look "beautiful" in her dress! Thanks again!