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Opinions on this dress, for 13 y.o. FSIL - PIP

My FMIL asked FI's and my opinion on a dress she is considering buying for FSIL for our wedding. FSIL is 13 and will be exactly 13 1/2 years old at the wedding.

I don't love the dress, for several reasons, but the big ones are that 1) I think strapless is impractical for a girl that age (who will want to dance a lot). Hard to tell from the photo, but she actually has a tiny bust (as expected for a girl her age), and I think she will have to yank it up all night. 2) it looks a little mature for her 3) the hemline looks weird to me. 

On the other hand, I don't hate the dress, and both the girl and her mother LOVE it. I'm wondering what others think. I'm not around pre-teen / teen girls at all, so I have no idea what kids these days are wearing. Is my dislike of the dress my own bias, and do you think this is fine? 

I would never want FSIL to feel bad about what she is wearing, but I do want her to be able to look back at the photos and not think, "Why did you let me wear that? It looks terrible!" My gut says she can find a nicer dress that she likes just as much, but I'm willing to bite my tongue if, objectively, the dress is fine.

A little extra information: FSIL is blond, and petite (probably around 4'8" or 4'10"). She is the model in the photo below. Our wedding is in June, on a beach, outside of the U.S.. We do not have a wedding party. She will be walking in as part of the ceremony, before or after my two (adult) brothers. FI has no other siblings. There will probably be only 2 or 3 other kids her age there (the rest are babies/toddlers or 18 y.o.). The wedding will be in the evening, and based what I've seen in other weddings in that country, most people will be wearing sundresses, business casual attire, or skirts with tops. Some men might wear suits. FI is wearing a tan suit, white shirt, no tie. Some women bare their shoulders, but not many. It's not frowned upon, it's just not the fashion there. I will be wearing an ankle-length dress with a halter top, and a cover-up for when it gets chillier at night. It will be very breezy.

What do you think of the dress?


Re: Opinions on this dress, for 13 y.o. FSIL - PIP

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    Is FSIL in the wedding party?

    If not, I wouldn't say anything and just let her wear what she wants.  I *personally* don't like the dress and wouldn't buy it for my 13 year old, but if she likes it and FMIL like it, then just go with it.

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    ngkrngkr member
    First Comment
    Monekysip - We are not having a wedding party, but FSIL (and my brothers, and all parents) will be walking in to the ceremony, separately. We're not sure yet of FSIL and FMIL would walk in together, or if FSIL would be walking in alone (if FI walks with his mother. His father will not be at the wedding).


    FMIL, FSIL, my brothers, and my parents would be standing next to us during the entire ceremony. FSIL has expressed interest in doing a reading, but may change her mind if she is feeling shy (either is fine with us).
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    ngkrngkr member
    First Comment

    Looks like my post got eaten; apologies for the double post if it reappears. Picture is below.

    Short version of what I wrote before:
    FSIL is 13 now, will be 13 1/2 at the wedding. She is modeling the dress. FMIL asked our opinion of it. I don't like it. Am I just biased since it's not a style I like, or do you think it's not a good dress for a 13 1/2 year old?

    What I don't like: Strapless makes it hard to dance, dress looks too mature, hemline looks weird, very possible she will be cold and the dress will fly up in the wind.

    The wedding is on the beach, outside the U.S. Most people probably will be wearing sundresses or business casual type attire. Ceremony is at sunset; afterwards it could get a little chilly and will be very breezy.

    FSIL and FMIL love it, but I think they are interested in our opinion since they've never been to the country the wedding will be at, and don't know what the local fashion & weather will be like.



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    Point out gently to FMIL and FSIL, that the dress will be difficult to dance in because it is strapless and you would like them to have fun dancing at the wedding.  FSIL does not look 13 in that dress.  She looks much older. FMIL might perceive that this could be a challenge but FSIL will love hearing those words.  Good luck.
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    pgcppgcp member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
    I personally, just think the dress is ugly, but I would think that whether the wearer was 13, 18, 25, 48, or 63.  Having gone through the struggle to find dresses for 13 year old girls myself, I don't think the style is terrible.  It covers all the parts, her boobs aren't hanging out, nor is her butt at risk of being exposed, also it isn't tight.  If you were to show up at a middle school spring dance you would see many many dresses that are less tasteful than that one.
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    Personally I think it is pretty ugly.  Otherwise, it is okay.  I don't think strapless dresses are hard to dance in.

    Instead of focusing on their fashion taste, I'd focus on your concern that she would be too chilly in it.
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_attire-accessories_opinions-on-this-dress-for-13-yo-fsil-pip?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:15Discussion:be986c5a-29a4-474a-8a33-cdeb1e5b5bebPost:23643db5-e454-4c8d-90ac-401d14246fbb">Re: Opinions on this dress, for 13 y.o. FSIL - PIP</a>:
    [QUOTE]I personally, just think the dress is ugly, but I would think that whether the wearer was 13, 18, 25, 48, or 63.  Having gone through the struggle to find dresses for 13 year old girls myself, I don't think the style is terrible.  It covers all the parts, her boobs aren't hanging out, nor is her butt at risk of being exposed, also it isn't tight.  If you were to show up at a middle school spring dance you would see many many dresses that are less tasteful than that one.
    Posted by pgcp[/QUOTE]

    <div>This. I think it's ugly, but I don't think it's inappropriate. </div><div>
    </div><div> I just went through the whole dress deal. My sister is 12 (13 at the wedding) and trying to find a BM dress that didn't make her look as old as my 26/27/35 year old BM's was a little difficult. She's 12 going on 21 and feels like this wedding is her chance to feel grown up...lol. In the end I picked a cute one shoulder short dress for everyone. Her mother saw it, okay'ed it, and that's done. Then again, I'm also letting her wear heels, have her makeup done, and wear false eyelashes like the rest of the girls. </div>
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    ngkrngkr member
    First Comment
    13 going on 21 is a good way to put it! I (sort of) remember that feeling and I can understand what the girl's excited about, but hopefully a more flattering dress will catch her eye soon and she'll change her mind.

    I'm glad to hear that I'm not the only one who thinks the dress is not pretty. My fashion sense is terrible, so I was concerned maybe this is a style that is very trendy, and I'm just out of touch. Looks like it's not just me!

    Thanks for the suggestion to focus on the weather; I'll gently mention that she might not be warm enough for most of the reception, and maybe they should keep looking. There's still plenty of time, and with spring / summer clothes out, there should be more options.
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