Attire & Accessories Forum

I'm afraid to go dress shopping. Any advice?


I got engaged this past August and I still have not been dress shopping. I have looked at numerous magazines and searched far and wide online on a couple of websites. The reason why I am afraid to actually go to a store and try on dresses is because of my mother. She does not like anything that I like and I am worried that it will turn into a fiasco. I have shown her a couple of dresses that I like and she says they are all wrong. I really don't like the kind of style she wants me to wear but I feel bad telling her this since she's paying for the wedding. 

Any advice? 

-looking for the perfect dress!

Re: I'm afraid to go dress shopping. Any advice?

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    If she's bad enough that you think dress shopping will be a fiasco, can you pay for the dress yourself?  If you pay for ithe dress, she doesn't get a say in it.  Even if it means having a smaller dress budget, that may be worth it for you. 

    Then take a friend shopping with you or go by yourself.  If you think just seeing the dress will make her upset, tell her you want it to be a surprise for everyone on the wedding day.
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    My mom doesnt like the same style as me either. Although she understands that it is my wedding and not hers and that I should get to pick my wedding dress. My advice to you would be to take her with you and try on a few that she likes, when she sees you in the dress that you love, the dress that you know is the one, my guess is that she will be so happy to see that you are happy that she will not force you to wear a dress that you dont absolutely love.

    If that is not the case then I would do what the pp suggests, although I would not leave my mother out of the wedding dress shopping. There is no reason she cant go with you if you decide to pay yourself.

    Just remember, she hasnt seen YOU in any of these dresses. There is a difference. Give her a chance, if it doesnt work out then figure out a way to pay for it yourself or another way to make it work. You dont have to buy a dress the first time you go dress shopping.
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    My mom and I have pretty different tastes in clothing as well.  I ended up going dress shopping by myself on two or three trips.  This narrowed down the type of dress *I* wanted to try on, after going on my first trip with my mom and MOH- they picked every conceivable dress they could find, and it was way too confusing and hectic for me.  Knowing what I wanted gave me a definite opinion when I went on my next trip with my mom.  She loved my second choice dress, but the one I bought was it, and I knew it.  She did, too, after she saw just how much I loved it.

    After you know what you want, you have two options:  take your mother with you and take control over what dresses you want to try on.  Or, as a PP mentioned, see if you can pull off saying you want to surprise everyone.  That never would've worked with my mom, but you never know.  And if all else fails, save up to pay for the dress yourself. 
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    Do you have a sister, an aunt or a friend that you could bring along? Maybe even your FMIL or FI's sister? Someone to act as a buffer between you and your mother.

    I love my mom, but she made a lot of comments about my weight while we were out looking for my dress. My sister came along to an appointment and was VERY helpful in giving some compliments and constructive criticism aside from, "You really need to lose some weight." She helped diffuse the situation a lot and made me feel a lot better about the whole thing. So if you have someone who could come along and be a bit more supportive, that could be your answer.

    Of course, also remember that most moms have our best interests in mind, and might have a good idea of what actually looks best on us. So I wouldn't count out your mother's comments right away, because she might have a point about what does and does not look good on you.

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    Although I don't have any issues with disagreeing with my mom, I was happy that I am paying for my wedding dress myself. I hate when people spend money on me, so I've pretty much settled for the lower ranges of most things so it's not so burdensome for my parents. I am soooooooo glad I didn't have to worry about that for my dress and got one that I truely love! If mom was paying.. I definitely wouldn't have bought the one I did!  

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    My mom and i both have diffrent taste as well. One weekend when i went to visit her we went dress shopping at David's in Orlando. She had me try on some really ballerina style dresses and i told her i was having a tropical wedding not going to a ball (lol). So we finally looked at several more dresses and some halter styles. I made like i did not love really any of them. The one i ended up loving most was the one halter style she really liked (lol) it worked out well. I love my gown so much and can't wait until my day!! Even though i have my gown i still look at others there are many beautiful ones to choose from. I got mine 8 months ago , i wanted to make sure it was not discontinued!! Good luck and happy shopping!! Keep and open mind with your mom, sometimes it's hard but mine really worked out well.
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