Is this weird? or am I overreacting?

Mannajo27

I just got married last July. My husband and I are really close with his brother and his now financee and they were a big part of our wedding. They got engaged a few weeks ago. They recently went wedding dress shopping and sent me a picture of the dress she chose. Which happens to be the EXACT same dress that I wore. At first I thought it was a joke and replied "are you trying to be funny or is this really the one?" And he replied with "This is the one. Is something wrong with it? We think it looks great!" Does any one else think this is weird or am I overreacting?

mbaete

I would find this strange

RamonaFlowers

Yup, you're over-reacting. I'm going to bet that she had no idea it was the same dress when she picked it.

Your dress was special to you, so of course you remember it clearly, just like any other bride will remember her dress ... but most wedding guests don't actually remember specifics about what the bride wore, other than it was white (Or whatever color) and that she looked beautiful in it. Needless to say, if she forgot it was your dress, I doubt any of your mutual wedding guests are going to notice it's the same dress, either.

Britoz

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_attire-accessories_this-weird-am-overreacting?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:15Discussion:d5b63ea1-946f-4a8b-9aeb-b61362ee1a65Post:3c369c0b-7618-430d-b306-9a8f478721c4">Re: Is this weird? or am I overreacting?</a>:
[QUOTE]Ditto MilkDuds.  At least you got to wear it first.
Posted by edielaura[/QUOTE]

This. It would be more weird if her wedding was before yours. This way, if anyone had noticed, they'll think she's the crazy one. =D I wouldn't worry about it. You were the first one to wear it. Besides, I betcha no one but you (and maybe your mom) will even notice.

jemmini6

Overreacting.  Just because you wore it, doesn't mean that no one else can.  Besides, you wore it first, so it's not like anyone would think that you copied her or anything.  Like PPs said, chances are, she didn't remember it was your dress, and neither will any of your mutual guests.

harpsdesire

I would say both.  Because to me it is rather strange, but also not a big deal.

Anyone who notices is going to think she's a little nuts.... but I agree with pps that most probably will not notice.

Mandafly84

I would be totally super flattered if another girl wanted to wear the same exact dress as me.  It would make me feel like I did something right

amk1310

I doubt that she remembered it was the same dress, so it just means she also found the dress beautiful.  I wouldn't really mention it to the other guests (so they don't think she's weird), and I'd laugh it off with her.  "Great minds think alike!  It's a gorgeous dress.  You will look beautiful" kind of comments and such. 

kateguess22

Give her the benefit of the doubt! It doesn't make a lot of sense that she would actually want to buy the exact same dress, so chances are high that she forgot all about it. Obviously this is one beautiful dress if both of you found it and decided it was the one. Avoid spreading any gossip about this and embarassing her- just keep it to yourself. Find the humour in the situation and when you do talk to her about it reassure her that you aren't judging her and that it is the perfect dress for her. Imagine how you would have felt after you found your dream dress and you were so excited for someone to burst your bubble by telling you that they already wore that exact same dress and now they are mad at you. She deserves to feel as beautiful as you did, so keep your comments positive.

steffenfam

Yes, I agree with Kate...keep it to yourself.

Sydney91

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_attire-accessories_this-weird-am-overreacting?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:15Discussion:d5b63ea1-946f-4a8b-9aeb-b61362ee1a65Post:960f623e-ffe0-4b3e-8d81-697da897c14c">Re: Is this weird? or am I overreacting?</a>:
[QUOTE]Give her the benefit of the doubt! It doesn't make a lot of sense that she would actually want to buy the exact same dress, so chances are high that she forgot all about it. Obviously this is one beautiful dress if both of you found it and decided it was the one. Avoid spreading any gossip about this and embarassing her- just keep it to yourself. Find the humour in the situation and when you do talk to her about it reassure her that you aren't judging her and that it is the perfect dress for her. Imagine how you would have felt after you found your dream dress and you were so excited for someone to burst your bubble by telling you that they already wore that exact same dress and now they are mad at you. She deserves to feel as beautiful as you did, so keep your comments positive.
Posted by kateguess22[/QUOTE]
I agree with this. In a portfolio of one of the photographers I was looking at, there was another woman in the exact dress I just put a deposit down on (including the trim colour). It's a small town and this shocked me, but I got to see it on her and reconfirmed that this dress is great. It really isn't a big deal. There are 1000's of every dress sold around the world. Yours wasn't specially made, so expect to see other brides in it (though it is a weird feeling when you finally do). 

LuckyGirl1713

She obviously didn't realize that it is the same dress as you had because I don't think she would be getting it.  I don't know any woman that would want to wear the same dress as their sister/friend/cousin already wore especially recently.  I would let her know it's the same dress casually, "Wow, I can't believe you are wearing the same dress as I wore.  It really is a beautiful dress and you are going to look beautiful in it."  If she didn't know this will clue her in and if she did know then you will know that she is strange lol.  Sorry!!  And no one will think weirdly of you, they will think she is kinda weird for wearing the same dress.

hollyweenOR

I can see why it would feel weird, but no one knows your dress like you do- pretty much guaranteed no one will take notice, especially a year later, wth different accessories, different setting, and different bride! Smile and let it go- you know you've got good taste, she's proving it (whether she knows it or not)!

Starfish0116

I wouldn't get upset over it, but I would probably say something similar to what LuckyGirl said. Besides, you wore it first. I'd probably say "Thats so funny you picked that dress. Great minds think alike! You should try mine on before you buy it and save some money!. "

daniellelea1985

I agree with PPs

Politely and lightly mention it, we all want to be "unique" so she might not have realized it and will want to change it!

Beverly8

I can see why you would think this is weird and who knows, if it happened to me I may feel weird as well. But it could be possible that they honestly didn't even realize that it is the same dress. I wouldn't worry about it. You had the opportunity to wear it first and as PPs have said, the same dress will look totally different on differently body types. Don't stress about this and just keep it to yourself, at the end of the day it's really nothing to get stressed or upset about.

whitney37354

I"d say she doesn't know it's the same dress as you wore.  Every white dress hanging in the store looked the same to me until I tried them on. I wouldn't even mention it to her.  She likes the dress or she wouldn't have chosen it.  I wouldn't want to make her doubt her decision.

carrieloomis

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_attire-accessories_this-weird-am-overreacting?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:15Discussion:d5b63ea1-946f-4a8b-9aeb-b61362ee1a65Post:65b5f0a7-7a46-4cdc-9b33-30d59bc59f7d">Re: Is this weird? or am I overreacting?</a>:
[QUOTE]I would say both.  Because to me it is rather strange, but also not a big deal. Anyone who notices is going to think she's a little nuts.... but I agree with pps that most probably will not notice.
Posted by harpsdesire[/QUOTE]

<div>This. Definitely this. I'd be irked too, but I would realize that, even if someone did notice, it has no reflection on you.</div>

smartlypretty

Lol, I mean can you offer to sell her yours???

(It's a little weird)

jenniferb77

perhaps she saw yours and thought it was amazing? imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.

JacklovesSarah

Try looking at it from this angle: It's cool that someone who is about to be part of your family has the same taste as you.

stefaniewattie

I would probably have responded saying that it was the exact dress I wore. You never know, that might be a deal breaker for her. If I was her, it would of. I wouldnt want to wear a dress someone else had already worn, especially someone in such close relation to me.
It would bother me hell, a girl I know posted a picture of my wedding dress in her "wedding inspiration album" on facebook (ugh) and I thought it was hers as well, I got hella jealous for about 5 seconds. lol. Turns out, not her dress - just one she loved. (yay for my ego!) lol.
But seriously, maybe say something - if I was her, I would want to know.

TiffannieF

I would feel flattered if somebody chose the same dress as me!

GunzNRoses213

I'd feel weird... She probably looked at your dress and said she wanted something similar and probably didnt realize it really was the same unless you know she had known what designer and stuff that you had /style number...

I'd be a lil upset and hope no one noticed I get where you are coming from , most people say how wonderful people look , I doubt if they pay that much attention to know they have seen it before.... How long will it be between the weddings? If they have attended another wedding in between they will most likly not have a clue ...

But yes you did wear it first and it is kinda flattering in an odd type of way

shoebie

Absolutly over reacting do you knwo how many people bought your exact dress? You should reply but maybe in a nice way she probally does not realize its your dress and once she does she might change her mind. I would says omething like lol just thought she was trying on my dress to show me haha looks great but dont be rude

Cortney1982

Unless your dress was very unique, nobody probably remembers what it looked like.  Especially 5 months later!

goodine11

No. I dont think you are overreacting. I understand people will get our dresses if we didn't get a one of a kind dress made.  However, you wouldn't think that it would be a person that just came from seeing you in your dress.

I also, think that you gave us only the surface of your contact with your husband's FSIL. Some women will copy your style. I guess I understand because, I had a friend that tried to do everything I did. She even sold her house and move into an apartment when I moved from my moms house, that was the biggest but she did it for years. When my FI proposed she started trying to break us up knowing that she was not getting married anytime soon. I may sound crazy however, our mutual friends will say the same. So if your relationship is like that I don't think your over reacting.