Mom making the dress?

stacywashington

Hi everyone - first I am not sure if I am in the right forum - but not sure where this would go.  

We have started looking for dresses and my mom is getting very excited.  (i am 42 and never considered marriage - been antimarriage my whole life)   She has been sending me emails with pics of dresses and yesterday sent me an email with some patterns.

She has sewn all her life and made several formal dresses and wedding dresses for others.   Normally I would have no problem with my mom making my dress, however she smokes like a chimney and I would hate for my dress to smell like smoke (which it will).  I am in a terrible dilemma - my mom is my best friend and I don't want to break her heart telling her she can't make her only daughter's wedding dress?

Help!

christinamarie325

Can she sew it at your house? tell her you're afraid of it smelling like smoke, or the smoke in the air affecting the color of gown. 

kikirst33

Why not approach it like this....

"I know how much you like to sew but I don't want this to be a chore for you and want you to participate in many other things.  I'd love for you to be able to participate in meeting with the hall / florist / DJ, etc and not have to be sewing a dress for me.  That way you can enjoy the whole wedding experience with me."

Or you could be very honest and tell her that while you would love for her to make the dress you are concerned that it will smell like smoke.  It's not an easy thing to have to say to your mom.   Perhaps you could suggest that she make her own MOB dress instead of your gown?

kd.joseph

This is a very delicate situation. My first question is do you want her making your dress regardless of the smoke issue?

If not I think I may schedule an appt at a salon and take her with you. When you find something you love, maybe she will see that it's worth it just to buy it. Plus, come at it as you want her to be the mother of the bride, not the hired help. And you want her to enjoy this whole process she didnt even think she'd be a part of.

Not sure how else to approach it, but it deserves a sit down. Good Luck.

kd.joseph

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_attire-accessories_mom-making-the-dress?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:15Discussion:f12f7277-4b81-4226-a745-60cd260dd1d1Post:bf15fbbe-c6fc-4172-8cc3-adac80fc2a4a">Re: Mom making the dress?</a>:
[QUOTE]Why not approach it like this.... "I know how much you like to sew but I don't want this to be a chore for you and want you to participate in many other things.  I'd love for you to be able to participate in meeting with the hall / florist / DJ, etc and not have to be sewing a dress for me.  That way you can enjoy the whole wedding experience with me." Or you could be very honest and tell her that while you would love for her to make the dress you are concerned that it will smell like smoke.  It's not an easy thing to have to say to your mom.   Perhaps you could suggest that she make her own MOB dress instead of your gown?
Posted by kikirst33[/QUOTE]

Wow, this is basically what I wrote out, but TK ate it.

HobokensFury

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_attire-accessories_mom-making-the-dress?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:15Discussion:f12f7277-4b81-4226-a745-60cd260dd1d1Post:bf15fbbe-c6fc-4172-8cc3-adac80fc2a4a">Re: Mom making the dress?</a>:
[QUOTE]Why not approach it like this.... "I know how much you like to sew but I don't want this to be a chore for you and want you to participate in many other things.  I'd love for you to be able to participate in meeting with the hall / florist / DJ, etc and not have to be sewing a dress for me.  That way you can enjoy the whole wedding experience with me." Or you could be very honest and tell her that while you would love for her to make the dress you are concerned that it will smell like smoke.  It's not an easy thing to have to say to your mom.   Perhaps you could suggest that she make her own MOB dress instead of your gown?
Posted by kikirst33[/QUOTE]

Great advice.