Help camo tux!

ErinElizabethR

My FI wants a real tree tux. He has his heart set on it. They're hideous! They don't even look good on the models. His mom and sister are trying to talk him out of it, thank god! how can I talk him out of it? I don't even care if he wears a tux, I'd be happy if he wore a suit and a tie. He wears camo everyday, and I don't care if he does just not on our wedding day. I don't want my wedding photos looking like he's on his way to prom. Help!

Maggie0829

How about compromising with him.  Have him wear a nice suit but that he can use accents of camo.  Like camo cufflinks.  Camo pocket square.  Camo socks.  Camo tie.

Something that represents his personality as well.

But yeah, I don't really say too much about what my H wears but if he said that he wanted to wear a full on camo suit for our wedding I would not have been happy.

ErinElizabethR

I suggested the camo tie. But he wasn't going for it.

itzMS

My DH wears a hoodie and jeans every day...but he didn't ask/choose to wear those to our wedding nor would he ever wear them to any other formal event. It's about being an adult and dressing like one.

I totallyyyyyy get the whole thing about your FI wanting to be himself on your wedding day, but he's being unreasonable if he's serious about this.

Out of curiousity, would your FI wear a camo suit to someone else's wedding? What has he worn when you dress up in the past?

ErinElizabethR

In Response to Re:Help camo tux!:[QUOTE]My DH wears a hoodie and jeans every day...but he didn't ask/choose to wear those to our wedding nor would he ever wear them to any other formal event. It's about being an adult and dressing like one.I totally get the whole thing about him wanting to be himself on your wedding day,nbsp;but he's beingnbsp;unreasonable if he's serious about this. Out of curiousity, wouldnbsp;your FInbsp;wear a camo suit to someone else's wedding? What has he worn when you dress up in the past? Posted by itzMS[/QUOTE]
His nicest camo shirt to weddings. He has a button up black shirt he wears to job interviews, court and funerals.

itzMS

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_attire-accessories_help-camp-tux?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:15Discussion:f938f65b-8186-44df-a925-a1943af0aa6bPost:0bb06e55-0cd1-4cab-87f5-f40f3dc35fd4">Re:Help camo tux!</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re:Help camo tux!: His nicest camo shirt to weddings. He has a button up black shirt he wears to job interviews, court and funerals.
Posted by ErinElizabethR[/QUOTE]

Wow, you are super tolerant!!!!!

I know I couldn't marry a man who won't even wear dress clothes to a wedding! It just screams immaturity IMHO, but everyone's situation is different.

ErinElizabethR

In Response to Re:Help camo tux!:[QUOTE]In Response to Re:Help camo tux!:In Response to Re:Help camo tux!: His nicest camo shirt to weddings. He has a button up black shirt he wears to job interviews, court and funerals.Posted by ErinElizabethRWow, you are super tolerant!!!!!I know I couldn't marry a man who won't even wear dress clothes to a wedding! It just screams immaturity IMHO, but everyone's situation is different. Posted by itz
We've only been to two weddings both were very informal, backyard BBQ. And he didn't stand out. It's not that I'm anti camo, it's just that these suits are ugly.

s-aries8990

Can you compromise by adding in a camo vest? I would be super PO'd if I were you, but it's anoter session on your part to accomodate his love for the wild. Tell him he can wear a camo hat at the reception too if he wants and in some pictures??

ErinElizabethR

In Response to Re:Help camo tux!:[QUOTE]Can you compromise by adding in a camo vest? I would be super PO'd if I were you, but it's anoter session on your part to accomodate his love for the wild. Tell him he can wear a camo hat at the reception too if he wants and in some pictures?? Posted by sydaries[/QUOTE]
He's uncomfortable vests, all the camo hats are baseball caps or are Stetsons that cost as much as the tux.

ErinElizabethR

In Response to Re:Help camo tux!:[QUOTE]Maybe he just doesn't feel selfconfident enough to wear anything else.nbsp; In high school I wore the same grey oversided hoodie every day because I wasn't confident enough to wear anything else.Maybe you can convince him to just try on a few regular tuxes and show him how snappy he would look.nbsp; You might not change his mind, but it doesn't hurt to ask him.nbsp; Make sure you emphasize how good he looks in the suit if he does try it on.nbsp; And be very appreciative or else he might resent you asking. Posted by nancyarahn[/QUOTE]
Confidence isn't a problem. I can't tell if he's serious about the camo. I think he just really genuinely likes it, he also said that I can't go tux shopping with him. I'm trying to get his sister to go. Because he trusts her opinion.

QueerFemme

Honestly, if you are in a traditional bridal gown and he is in a camo tux, you are going to look ridiculous.  Google some "camo tuxedo" photos, and you'll see how awful this looks.

I get that he likes camo in his regular clothes, and that he is a casual guy.  But this is not a regular day. It's your wedding day.  I would ask him to take it seriously and dress like a grown up.  If he wants to change into a camo shirt during your reception, fine.  But, I would ask him to wear something more formal during the ceremony.

bunni727

Generally, I think it's his outfit so he should make the decision. It's not like he gets a say in your dress. But, I also think it can't hurt to tell him how you feel about it, how inapropriate it is for a  formal occasion, and  that he will look better in something more classic. Also, I don't care how casual the event is, you are still commiting yourself to another person, and it should be treated with the proper respect. IMO, proper respect does not equal novelty tux.

Have you had a serious conversation about it, or is he just saying things about wanting one?

It's one thing for him to joke about it. It's another entirely for him to be aware of how much it would bother you, and not care.

ErinElizabethR

In Response to Re:Help camo tux!:[QUOTE]Honestly, if you are in a traditional bridal gown and he is in a camo tux, you are going to look ridiculous.nbsp; Google some "camo tuxedo" photos, and you'll see how awful this looks.I get that he likes camo in his regular clothes, and that he is a casual guy.nbsp; But this is not a regular day. It's your wedding day.nbsp; I would ask him to take it seriously and dress like a grown up.nbsp; If he wants to change into a camo shirt during your reception, fine.nbsp; But, I would ask him to wear something more formal during the ceremony. Posted by cmgilpin[/QUOTE]
I have googled camo tuxes, and I showed him how silly they look. I think they're fine for halloween. But They're worse than what I expected, which wasn't much to begin with. inappropriate for a wedding. That's why I'm asking for help.

erinlin25

yikes! I would just put all my faith that his mother and sister can help change his mind on this one.  Coming from you might make it a fun game fir him to torture you.  I hope that he is joking, but the more attention he gets for it, the more he will want to do it.  I agree that a camo suit is not appropriate for a wedding!!  Maybe let it go for a few days but you need to have a serious convo of how important it is to you that he does not have the full on camo suit!  I think the compromise itself is more than a nice gesture.  Hopeful he will grow up and see that it is important to you for him to wear a regular suit.

ErinElizabethR

In Response to Re:Help camo tux!:[QUOTE]Generally, I think it's his outfit so he should make the decision. It's not like he gets a say in your dress. But, I also think it can't hurt to tell him how you feel about it, how inapropriate it is for anbsp; formal occasion, andnbsp; that he will look better in something more classic. Also, I don't care how casual the event is, you are still commiting yourself to another person, and it should be treated with the proper respect. IMO, proper respect does not equal novelty tux. Have you had a serious conversation about it, or is he just saying things about wanting one? It's one thing for him to joke about it. It's another entirely for him to be aware of how much it would bother you, and not care. Posted by bunni727[/QUOTE]
He thinks I'm acting like a bridezilla when I say I don't want him to wear a camo tux. I just don't want him too look like a bad joke. We'll have to look at these photos everyday for the rest of our lives. I compromised with him and I'm not going to wear the high heels that make me a little taller than him. It's not like I'm forcing him to wear pink like some brides do. He can wear whatever he wants, but not the camo tux. He can even wear camo tie. I just don't want my wedding photos to end up on awkwardfamilyphotos.com Don't get me wrong I won't call the wedding off even if he does wear the stupid tux. I love him more than that, and my commitment to him is more important than an ugly tux. I just won't hang up any of the wedding photos.

QueerFemme

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_attire-accessories_help-camp-tux?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:15Discussion:f938f65b-8186-44df-a925-a1943af0aa6bPost:34ea7276-6f6c-4d3b-8762-b178197816f3">Re:Help camo tux!</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re:Help camo tux!: He thinks I'm acting like a bridezilla when I say I don't want him to wear a camo tux. I just don't want him too look like a bad joke. We'll have to look at these photos everyday for the rest of our lives. I compromised with him and I'm not going to wear the high heels that make me a little taller than him. It's not like I'm forcing him to wear pink like some brides do. He can wear whatever he wants, but not the camo tux. He can even wear camo tie. I just don't want my wedding photos to end up on awkwardfamilyphotos.com Don't get me wrong I won't call the wedding off even if he does wear the stupid tux. I love him more than that, and my commitment to him is more important than an ugly tux. I just won't hang up any of the wedding photos.
Posted by ErinElizabethR[/QUOTE]

You are a better woman than I am.  I would not show up if my partner was in a camo tux.  I would probably just cancel the big wedding and do a JOP ceremony.

ErinElizabethR

In Response to Re:Help camo tux!:[QUOTE]In Response to Re:Help camo tux!:In Response to Re:Help camo tux!: He thinks I'm acting like a bridezilla when I say I don't want him to wear a camo tux. I just don't want him too look like a bad joke. We'll have to look at these photos everyday for the rest of our lives. I compromised with him and I'm not going to wear the high heels that make me a little taller than him. It's not like I'm forcing him to wear pink like some brides do. He can wear whatever he wants, but not the camo tux. He can even wear camo tie. I just don't want my wedding photos to end up on awkwardfamilyphotos.com Don't get me wrong I won't call the wedding off even if he does wear the stupid tux. I love him more than that, and my commitment to him is more important than an ugly tux. I just won't hang up any of the wedding photos.Posted by ErinElizabethRYou are a better woman than I am.nbsp; I would not show up if my partner was in a camo tux.nbsp; I would probably just cancel the big wedding and do a JOP ceremony. Posted by cmgilpin[/QUOTE]
What can I say, he's my best friend and the love of my life bad taste and all. I just got done speaking with him about it, I even asked him "are just kidding about the camo tux?" and he tells me "but, that's what I've always wanted." He is serious about it. I told him everything I've told you girls, and how much it would embarrass me. I even told him he can wear a camo tie. I even told him I'd rent him one for halloween. I even asked him if he'd bring his sister suit shopping. He said he'd think about it. I just want assurance that he won't wear it.

Coghoot12

In Response to Re:Help camo tux!:[QUOTE]In Response to Re:Help camo tux!:My DH wears a hoodie and jeans every day...but he didn't ask/choose to wear those to our wedding nor would he ever wear them to any other formal event. It's about being an adult and dressing like one.I totally get the whole thing about him wanting to be himself on your wedding day,nbsp;but he's beingnbsp;unreasonable if he's serious about this. Out of curiousity, wouldnbsp;your FInbsp;wear a camo suit to someone else's wedding? What has he worn when you dress up in the past? Posted by itzMS
His nicest camo shirt to weddings. He has a button up black shirt he wears to job interviews, court and funerals. Posted by ErinElizabethR[/QUOTE]

How often is your FI in court that you know what his designated outfit is for appearances?

ErinElizabethR

In Response to Re:Help camo tux!:[QUOTE]In Response to Re:Help camo tux!:In Response to Re:Help camo tux!:My DH wears a hoodie and jeans every day...but he didn't ask/choose to wear those to our wedding nor would he ever wear them to any other formal event. It's about being an adult and dressing like one.I totally get the whole thing about him wanting to be himself on your wedding day,nbsp;but he's beingnbsp;unreasonable if he's serious about this. Out of curiousity, wouldnbsp;your FInbsp;wear a camo suit to someone else's wedding? What has he worn when you dress up in the past? Posted by itzMS
His nicest camo shirt to weddings. He has a button up black shirt he wears to job interviews, court and funerals. Posted by ErinElizabethR

How often is your FI in court that you know what his designated outfit is for appearances? Posted by Coghoot12[/QUOTE]
That's kinda a rude question, I don't like what it implies. He was a political science major in college and for a little while considered going to law school. He had to go watch court cases for a class. The other time was to fight a traffic ticket. Not that it is any of your business. We both come from a blue collar background where the only time people really dress up are for wedding, funerals and court.

Coghoot12

Relax. You were the one who included "court" in the list of places he didn't wear camo to. It seemed very out of place since if he was an attorney or appearing in a professional capacity, he'd be wearing something nicer than a black shirt. And a blue collar background does not mean a total ignorance of appropriate attire. Every PP so far has said that a camo tux is inappropriate for a wedding. If your FI doesn't understand that it's not because he's blue collar.

beardownbchs

I know you said that you've told him everything you told us, but make sure he knows how much you absolutely hate this idea. It's like he's making a joke out of your wedding. It's not just that it's ugly, he's kind of disrespecting his wedding, in a way. That's not okay. If I were you, I'd wear the shoes if he's wearing the tux. Or a clown suit so then you will both look equally ridiculous. 

ErinElizabethR

In Response to Re:Help camo tux!:[QUOTE]Relax. You were the one who included "court" in the list of places he didn't wear camo to. It seemed very out of place since if he was an attorney or appearing in a professional capacity, he'd be wearing something nicer than a black shirt.

And a blue collar background does not mean a total ignorance of appropriate attire. Every PP so far has said that a camo tux is inappropriate for a wedding. If your FI doesn't understand that it's not because he's blue collar. Posted by Coghoot12[/QUOTE]
I forgot to mention pre law thingy. It was only for a semester. You don't have to wear a suit if you're just observing a court case. Those are open to the public, usually. it just sounded like you were implying he was a criminal. Who wouldn't be offended? Where we come from, when someone wears a suit it's common to ask "who died?" Or "what did you have to go to court for?" So I just mentioned it without thinking about it. I've only seen my fianc in a suit 3 times in 5 years. Once was for a funeral, the other time was to meet someone who worked directly for president Bush, and the last time was to purchase our house.

emeejeeayen

Cry.

Seriously, just cry. Do whatever you need to and lay on the water works. I'm typically against manipulative tactics, but you've got to bring out the big guns here. Get your isht together and give this situation a good sob fest while he's in the same room. Don't scream or yell, just cry. 

ErinElizabethR

In Response to Re:Help camo tux!:[QUOTE]Cry.Seriously, just cry. Do whatever you need to and lay on the water works. I'm typically against manipulative tactics, but you've got to bring out the big guns here. Get your isht together and give this situation a good sob fest while he's in the same room. Don't scream or yell, just cry.nbsp; Posted by emeejeeayen[/QUOTE]
Lmao it won't work. He's too smart for that, he's the second smartest man I've ever met, in spite of terrible fashion sense, that is one of the reasons I'm marrying him. I'm just going to say "please don't wear that tux. It will feel like you're making fun of our relationship, and that you won't take our marriage or our vows seriously." Then I'll say "how would you feel if I wore a chicken suit and said 'bak bak' instead if I do?"

beardownbchs

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_attire-accessories_help-camp-tux?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:15Discussion:f938f65b-8186-44df-a925-a1943af0aa6bPost:af74e058-fd40-4cce-b488-3decb932088c">Re:Help camo tux!</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re:Help camo tux!: Lmao it won't work. He's too smart for that, he's the second smartest man I've ever met, in spite of terrible fashion sense, that is one of the reasons I'm marrying him. <strong>I'm just going to say "please don't wear that tux. It will feel like you're making fun of our relationship, and that you won't take our marriage or our vows seriously." Then I'll say "how would you feel if I wore a chicken suit and said 'bak bak' instead if I do?"</strong>
Posted by ErinElizabethR[/QUOTE]

<div>Seriously. I have a fairly severe foot phobia. My FI's last name kind of sounds like a humorous pronunciation of "smell like" and I've been calling him LastName-Ass since I met him. It's SUPER important to him that I change my name. He's got a lot of tattoos (and has no plans of stopping) so he said that if I'll take his name, he'd get my name tattooed on him. Then he decided he'd get it on his foot. I told him if he did that, I'd change my last name to LastName-Ass. He understood.</div>

ErinElizabethR

In Response to Re:Help camo tux!:[QUOTE]Just tell him that either he decides to dress like a grown up at the wedding, or it's off.nbsp; He should care more about your feelings.nbsp; If he doesn't care enough, then you shouldn't marry him at all.He won't be able to find a camo tux anywhere but a costume shop. Posted by CMGr[/QUOTE]
Calling it off isn't an option. I'm not going to ruin my relationship over and ugly tux, it's not that important to me. I'll cancel the photographer and refuse to pose for any photos with him. The tux shops around here have the camo tux. He's called and asked.

cjeffries928

I was lucky that mine wants to dress up. But at the same time i also offered he could wear a button down and cargo shorts (his usual attire) as long as no flip flops. If its  make or break give em hell, otherwise this is the man you love, the one who wears camo everyday. show people the man you love not the man you think he should be for one day.

ErinElizabethR

In Response to Re:Help camo tux!:[QUOTE]I was lucky that mine wants to dress up. But at the same time i also offered he could wear a button down and cargo shorts his usual attire as long as no flip flops. If itsnbsp; make or break give em hell, otherwise this is the man you love, the one who wears camo everyday. show people the man you love not the man you think he should be for one day. Posted by cjeffries928[/QUOTE]
What really chaps my ass about this is that he wore a nice suit to buy our house from people he hates, he wore a suit to meet some Washington, D.C. Hot shot to tell him that the patriot act was wrong. He dressed up nice for people he hates but not for the woman he loves on our wedding day. And I don't see the point of renting a tux when it doesn't look any different from everything else he owns.

itzMS

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_attire-accessories_help-camp-tux?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:15Discussion:f938f65b-8186-44df-a925-a1943af0aa6bPost:84da8848-27b3-471e-9c8f-54b36921c403">Re:Help camo tux!</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re:Help camo tux!: Calling it off isn't an option. I'm not going to ruin my relationship over and ugly tux, it's not that important to me. I'll cancel the photographer and refuse to pose for any photos with him. The tux shops around here have the camo tux. He's called and asked.
Posted by ErinElizabethR[/QUOTE]

So you'd rather have no pictures of your wedding day instead of giving an ultimatum to your FI to dress like a grown man? Especially now that you've disclosed that he actually <em><u>owns</u></em> and <em><u>wears</u></em> suits?!?!?!?

As others have said, letting the groom select his own attire is cool 99.9% of the time. However, a full camo tuxedo falls into that 0.1%. It is not appropriate, mature, or respectful and really makes a mockery of the biggest day in your lives as a couple.

Lots of ladies on TK have very casual/low key DHs & FIs, including me. Asking the groom to wear attire that matches the formality of your wedding gown is NOT too much to request.

All I can do is wish you luck to you at this point. And a backbone.

ErinElizabethR

In Response to Re:Help camo tux!:[QUOTE]In Response to Re:Help camo tux!:In Response to Re:Help camo tux!: Calling it off isn't an option. I'm not going to ruin my relationship over and ugly tux, it's not that important to me. I'll cancel the photographer and refuse to pose for any photos with him. The tux shops around here have the camo tux. He's called and asked.Posted by ErinElizabethRSo you'd rather have no pictures of your wedding day instead of giving annbsp;ultimatum tonbsp;your FI to dress like a grown man? Especially now that you've disclosed that he actually owns and wears suits?!?!?!?As others have said, letting the groom select his own attire is cool 99.9 of the time. However, a full camo tuxedo falls into that 0.1. It is not appropriate, mature, or respectful and really makes a mockery of the biggest day in your lives as a couple.Lots of ladies on TK have very casual/low key DHs amp; FIs, including me. Asking the groom to wear attire that matches the formality of your wedding gown is NOT too much to request.All I can do is wish you luck to you at this point. And a backbone. Posted by itzMS[/QUOTE]
I think my relationship and vows are more important than an ugly tux and a bunch of photos.

bunni727

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_attire-accessories_help-camp-tux?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:15Discussion:f938f65b-8186-44df-a925-a1943af0aa6bPost:af64d4c7-7f42-43d3-a71e-6bee60468e48">Re:Help camo tux!</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re:Help camo tux!: I think my relationship and vows are more important than an ugly tux and a bunch of photos.
Posted by ErinElizabethR[/QUOTE]

They are. But there is no reason you should be humiliated on your wedding day, and have to miss out on happy photographic memories because your FI cares more about an obnoxious tux than about your feelings.
 
I don't think people are telling you to call off the wedding because he likes ugly tuxes. They think you should consider calling it off because you are marrying a man that does not care about embarassing you.