Attire & Accessories Forum
Options

Request guests to wear gray/black/white/beige/cream? Is that weird?

I will be wearing a red dress and my fiance brought up how cool it would be if we required muted tones as a dress requirement.

My hang ups about it are few, but exist. What do we do if someone shows up wearing color? That is NOT what i want to deal with on my wedding day... Also, I don't want to hassle my guests... what if they only have one formal outfit and it happens to be green?? 

Has anyone put a dress code on their guests besides the usual white tie/black tie/semi-formal/casual/etc.? Does it work? Is it rude? What do you do when someone doesnt comply?

Re: Request guests to wear gray/black/white/beige/cream? Is that weird?

  • Options
    Adults can dress themselves. Unless it is an formal black tie event, it is extremely rude to dictate to people what they should wear. Exactly, what would you do if someone didn't comply? Kick Aunt Jane or Uncle Joe out? I would hope not. Don't stress over it and don't hassle your guests.
    "There is always some madness in love. But there is also always some reason in madness." -Friedrich Nietzsche, "On Reading and Writing"
  • Options
    You cannot dictate how your guests dress.  It is beyond rude.  Even with a black tie affair you cannot dictate to the ladies about what colors they are allowed to wear.  Your guests are adults and have been dressing themselves their whole lives and can certainly dress appropriately for your wedding.

    Also, the only dress code that you can state is black tie, everything else is crap.

    And as PP said, what would you do if some of your guests do not listen to your dress code?  Would you kick them out?

  • Options
    Please don't. And it's inappropriate to put anything about dress unless you are having a true white tie or black tie event. And since that requires people to wear tuxes and evening gowns, there should be a full plated dinner, top shelf open bar, live band, etc.
    image
  • Options
    I agree with PPs. It is rude and do you really want to deal with that on your wedding day?  It would look cool, but is not practical.
    Anniversary BFP: 3/5/13 EDD: 11/14/13 BabyFruit Ticker
  • Options
    I've heard of people asking guests to do white for beach weddings, or black and white for a b&w theme. I have mixed feelings about telling people what to wear, though.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • Options
    It's not weird it's rude. You can't tell your guests what to wear.
     
      Image and video hosting by TinyPic Lilypie First Birthday tickers
  • Options

    You could just spread it by word of mouth that you'd love it IF everyone could wear their best muted outfit, but certainly don't require it!

    Anniversary
  • Options
    KimK is that you????
  • Options
    We love that Idea! we have a variety of products available to suit (no pun intented) your guests.
    Check out our authorized online bridal store
  • Options
    Absolutely don't tell guests what you want them to wear. If you're worried someone will wear red, that's something you could bring up casually by word of mouth when talking with guests. However, that's the risk you take with wearing a non-white dress. I think non-white dresses can be really neat, but you have to be OK with knowing that some guests may wear your color then. Most people know to stay away from white or ivory when attending weddings, but there's no possible way for them to stay away from every color just in case the bride happens to be wearing it.


    Image and video hosting by TinyPic

    Vacation
  • Options
    I don't think it's rude depending on how you do it.. it can be posed as a suggestion so people don't feel obligated if they don't have something to wear and would have to buy it. Just don't bank on everyone following, that's all.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • Options
    KatWAGKatWAG member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_attire-accessories_request-guests-to-wear-grayblackwhitebeigecream-is-that-weird?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:15Discussion:fb06a14f-9b6f-4899-9f54-f61f53bc9b1cPost:db3e5c02-3176-4908-a51f-546b18b77229">Re: Request guests to wear gray/black/white/beige/cream? Is that weird?</a>:
    [QUOTE]<strong>KimK is that you????
    </strong>Posted by cwaggoner07[/QUOTE]

    <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/scripts/tinymce/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-laughing.gif" border="0" alt="Laughing" title="Laughing" />
    BabyFruit Ticker
  • Options
    Kinda rude. I'd skip it unless you're having a small wedding with close friends and family only. Even then it's still rude.

    imageUntitledmy read shelf:
    Faith (FaithCaitlin)'s book recommendations, liked quotes, book clubs, book trivia, book lists (read shelf)
  • Options
    If I got an invitation to a wedding where I was requested to wear a certain color, and either my husband or I didn't own anything in that color, I would probably decline the invitation rather that show up wearing something else.

    Aunt Sally:  "So, I guess you didn't get the memo on wearing muted colors, huh?

    Me:  "No, we got the memo and chose to ignore it!"

    Now WE would look like the rude ones, when really YOU would have been rude to ask guests to wear certain colors to begin with.  Make sense?  
    DSC_9275
  • Options
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_attire-accessories_request-guests-to-wear-grayblackwhitebeigecream-is-that-weird?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:15Discussion:fb06a14f-9b6f-4899-9f54-f61f53bc9b1cPost:0b45f828-e325-4958-876d-c304a24a4d3f">Request guests to wear gray/black/white/beige/cream? Is that weird?</a>:
    [QUOTE]I will be wearing a red dress and my fiance brought up how cool it would be if we required muted tones as a dress requirement. My hang ups about it are few, but exist. What do we do if someone shows up wearing color? That is NOT what i want to deal with on my wedding day... Also, I don't want to hassle my guests... what if they only have one formal outfit and it happens to be green??  Has anyone put a dress code on their guests besides the usual white tie/black tie/semi-formal/casual/etc.? Does it work? Is it rude? What do you do when someone doesnt comply?
    Posted by CHICKENING[/QUOTE]

    I would probably not require my guests to wear a certain color. What about people that bring guests that didn't know about the requirement? Slippery slope...
  • Options
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_attire-accessories_request-guests-to-wear-grayblackwhitebeigecream-is-that-weird?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:15Discussion:fb06a14f-9b6f-4899-9f54-f61f53bc9b1cPost:22b188f0-1606-483f-a3a2-a10f981fe2d5">Re: Request guests to wear gray/black/white/beige/cream? Is that weird?</a>:
    [QUOTE]If you want everyone to know you are wearing red, you can spread it word of mouth. Don't ask or encourage guests to dress a certian way. The only dress code that can go on an invite is "Black Tie".
    Posted by Liatris2010[/QUOTE]

    This
  • Options
    I usually find that in regards to most posts that people respond to as something being incredibly rude or tacky that I tend to think "to each their own" and am lenient as long as it isn't rude to their guests.  I try to think how I would feel if what I was doing was done to me, and if I got an invite telling me I had to wear one of "x" amount of colors, it would rub me the wrong way.  I do not think it is appropriate.  Yes, everyone probably - 99% probably, has a dress of the colors you would be asking.  BUT, what if there is someone who doesn't?  Asking someone to buy something when they've already spent that money on you for showers, weddings, hotels, travel, etc, doesn't make sense to me.  Please re-consider. 
  • Options
    I don't think its rude at all. Its your wedding. If you want to ask your guest to wear muted colors than I think you should. I would put something like "The Bride and Groom Request that all guests please wear muted colors"   There is nothing rude about asking for what you want. Especially if you are polite about it.
  • Options
    kaos16kaos16 member
    First Answer First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
    edited June 2012
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_attire-accessories_request-guests-to-wear-grayblackwhitebeigecream-is-that-weird?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:15Discussion:fb06a14f-9b6f-4899-9f54-f61f53bc9b1cPost:4bd0b926-16df-498a-99f0-7a7b813a502d">Re: Request guests to wear gray/black/white/beige/cream? Is that weird?</a>:
    [QUOTE]I don't think its rude at all. Its your wedding. If you want to ask your guest to wear muted colors than I think you should. I would put something like "The Bride and Groom Request that all guests please wear muted colors"   There is nothing rude about asking for what you want.<strong> Especially if you are polite about it</strong>.
    Posted by Stinalove44[/QUOTE]

    "Please stand right there while I kick you in the face"
    "Kindly hand over your purse, because I am requesting that you allow me to take it from you"
    "Please come to our wedding where there will be a dollar dance and cash bar and everyone has to wear a flamingo costume, pretty please!"

    Hmmmmm. . . . . that's all the politeness I can muster and I'm going to go out on a limb and say that being polite doesn't make a rude idea any better. Sorry
  • Options
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_attire-accessories_request-guests-to-wear-grayblackwhitebeigecream-is-that-weird?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:15Discussion:fb06a14f-9b6f-4899-9f54-f61f53bc9b1cPost:2173d561-e66a-43ff-ba83-341b99ac8059">Re: Request guests to wear gray/black/white/beige/cream? Is that weird?</a>:
    [QUOTE]You could just spread it by word of mouth that you'd love it IF everyone could wear their best muted outfit, but certainly don't require it!
    Posted by MrsKathyC[/QUOTE]
    ^This - spread it by word of mouth that you would love it of people wore muted colors for the sake of pictures but definitely don't put it in the invitations or be bothered when people wear what they want. Just having it spread around so that many people go for neuterals will help to tone down the entire palate of the room even if there are a handful or red or purple or hot pink dresses running around and yet you aren't rudely dictating and micromanaging the clothing choices of your guests.<div>
    </div>
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards