Snarky Brides

Long story...advice needed if you have time.

Okay ladies, I have a problem and I don’t want to ask the “etiquette” boards because I’m pretty sure I’m going to have to break etiquette no matter what I do. 


CV (that means condensed version, right?):  I had a falling out with a close friend around the time I was doing the guest list and left her family off.  Now we’re two peas in a pod again and my venue is pretty much at capacity.  It is NOT about money.  It’s about not having enough room.  I really can’t imagine these people not being at my wedding, but I don’t know how to fit them in!


Long version:  I’ve known this girl since 2nd grade.  Our falling out was years in the making.  Over the years she’s grown more and more distant and she knew she was doing it.  We worked it out.  She’s going through a divorce right now and I think she has finally realized who her true friends are…and that I am probably the person who knows her best in the world.  So, everything is good again and I added her back to the guest list, but I spaced adding her family.  They were like a second family to me for my “formative” years. 


Her Dad owns a dry cleaning shop and she told me to go see him for chair covers, but I feel terrible asking him for them (he’ll probably give me a huge discount that I don’t deserve).  I feel like if I go to hi for the covers, I’ll have to invite him and his wife (who I hate).  Then I can’t invite her dad without inviting her mom and possibly a date. Of course, I can’t invite them without inviting her sister, the sister’s BF and her daughter.  So there’s 7 people I don’t have room for.  My FI and Dad both added people after the STDs had been sent.  That’s another story for another day.


So, exactly how rude is it to ask my friends not to bring their kids?  I can free up 5 seats that way.  I really wanted an adults only reception, but I have 11 nieces and nephews, so that wasn’t an option.  Is it completely out of line to allow kids n the family but not kids of friends?  Unfortunately, I am inviting their parents, so their normal sitters will be indisposed. 


I can’t do anything about the people my Dad invited and added after the STDs went out) because he is paying for the reception…and he’s a proud Papa.  I want him to enjoy the reception.  I’m the baby by a long shot, so this is the last time he gets to walk his little girl down the aisle and all that.  Anywho, my FI decided (after I had begged him for months for a guest list) that he wants to invite all the guys he works with instead of the few he had given me before the STDs.  With dates, that’s 8 people.  I’m tempted to just put my foot down and say: “No, you can’t invite your whole company.”, but he works with these guys all the time and my guests already out number his by a long shot (I have a huge family. They are the only reason this isn’t happening in my backyard.) Still, I have two jobs and only 4 people are coming from one of them.  All of them I have worked with since high school and hang out with them outside of work. 


I’m just stumped.  I REALLY want to find a way to fit them in.  I could just add them and still be under the 150 limit, but everyone will be squished together. 


Please help.  FWIW, I know this is completely my fault and I shouldn’t have taken them of the list so hastily.  I know that I’m going to have to kind of be a bitch no matter what I do.  I think the three friends I would ask not to bring their kids would understand (one is the friend that started all this).  I’m just kicking myself because after Marc gave me his list, I was under my limit (which was 125), so I added a few people from the “B” list.  Then he threw those 8 people at me…plus 2 from my dad…oh, and 2 more if I go to his friend’s bakery for the cake.  ARG. 


I don’t know.  Help me.  I know you’ll be blunt, but if you’re going to tell me I’m a huge bitch for even considering these things, please know that I am fully aware and have been beating myself up for weeks about it.  Thanks for reading…if you have this far.


What would you do?

Edited to remove what our fight was about.  Doesn't matter. 

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