Ok ladies, you've been great on the advice so far, so here's another question for y'all. This one falls into the "am I being a total bitch?" category:
FI and I met in business school. We were in a very small, tight-knit, rurally located program. FI' friend in question (heretofore known as FIQ) was our classmate and lived near FI first year (which means they are totally bonded as first year was horrifyingly difficult). My personal experiences with FIQ have all been unpleasent and include:
- that time I planned a birthday party for my friend and he attempted to carry a pong table on to the dance floor - when I asked what he was doing (I really didn't know), he screamed at me
- that time he pulled my roommate (another classmate) aside at a party, whipped out his penis and asked her to pleasure him, disregarding the fact that he was engaged to be married
- that time after he found out FI and I were dating and took it upon himself to pull FI aside and make lewd comments (basically congratulating FI on landing a girl with so much sexual experience since FI had almost none). For the record FIQ had no concept of either mine or FI's "number" and was making broad and insulting assumptions (not that it would have been any more appropriate had he been correct)
- that time he invited FI to his wedding, solo. No "and guest" or anything. This was after FI and I were already living together, so I'm pretty sure this is a pretty serious etiquette breach
I could go on, but I won't.
Basically FI's assessment of FIQ is that he is a "bad drunk" who turns all Mr. Hyde when he's had a few. I can buy this since, with the exception of the wedding invite thing, all of these negative experiences involve alcohol. But there will be alcohol at our wedding, and lots of it...
FI of course will want to invite FIQ and may even want to include him in the wedding party. I of course want FIQ and his questionable alcohol-induced-personality-disorder nowhere near our reception.
I trust FI's judgement, and it's HIS friend, so part of me says I should just reiterate how I feel and leave the final decision up to him. But the other part of me says it's my wedding too and I shouldn't have to stress about having this guy there and what he might do, when I already have enough other things to worry about.
If I tell FI that I'd rather we not invite FIQ, am I being a bitch?