Snarky Brides

Discussion regarding teen preg

If your 16 yr old daughter became pregnant would you....allow it to be her choice what happens to the child?encourage abortion?force abortion?encourage adoption?force adoption?encourage or force keeping the child?other?
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Re: Discussion regarding teen preg

  • Depending on maturity level, I would let her make the final decision... it is her body. But I would definitely encourage her to fully think out all of her options, and let her know while I'll help her, she will be responsible if she decides to keep the child. I like Fallin's 9 months to get your GED plan also.

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  • I'm with Fallin on the financial responsibility thing.I wouldn't throw her out on the street, but I sure as hell wouldn't be all "Don't worry, we'll get through it together" about it. I would expect her to get her shiit together, get her degree ASAP, and also work to save up money for everything the baby needs. I wouldn't go so far as to let the baby starve or anything, but I'd fully expect her to pay for diapers/formula/other necessities.
  • I would encourage adoption.  Possibly keeping the baby if she were capable of parenting. I would discourage adoption.  I wouldn't forbid it, but I'd strongly lean her in a different direction.  Maybe set her up with a therapist to help her come to a decision.
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  • I would be pissed, because as I recently learned, getting pregnant is not that easy.  I hope that I am going to be able to teach my kids about proper birth control at an early age (while not saying, "Hey honey, sex is great!  Go out and try it.").Back to the question, I would discuss all options openly and honestly with her.  I would try to encourage abortion or adoption.  However, I think this is so dependant on the individual. 
  • I don't think even the most mature 16 yr old (and really, aren't those the ones least likely to get knocked up anyway?) is capable of parenting.
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  • My eyes nearly rolled out of my head when Dr. Drew said to Farrah's mom, "So, do you think it's OK to hit your kids?"Her daughter was being ridiculous, and while I certainly don't go around condoning it, I don't think a backhand to the shoulder in a moment of utter frustration should really be classified as completely inappropriate. I remember my mom smacking me across the face a few times when I was in my especially snotty pre-teen years, and hell, I deserved it.
  • I'm on the train of people who would make it very clear to my daughter that her choices are adoption, abortion, or magically becoming a self reliant adult if she wants to raise the baby herself.  I am not going to help her raise a kid, so she's on her own if that's what she chooses.  If she wants that level of responsibility, that's on her.
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  • Exactly, Heather. She just whacked her arm, she didn't kick the crap out of her. Whitney was just making me SO ANGRY. She sounds like she's 4 with that stupid baby voice. And her boyfriend smokes when it's like exceedingly bad for the baby with his medical condition. Jerks.
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    I bet her FUPA's name is Shane, like the gunslinger/drifter of literature.--HappyTummy
  • If she kept the child, I wouldn't go the GED route. To me, GED doesn't cut it the same way a HS diploma does. She'd have to stay in school and figure out a way to go to college.
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  • To me, GED doesn't cut it the same way a HS diploma does. She'd have to stay in school and figure out a way to go to college. To me, that's the sacrifice you choose to make if you keep the baby, so, hey, how about adopotion?
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  • From my personal observations, I just don't think I would want her to raise the kid. Even the 20 somethings that I know who had an accidential pregnancy seem to have an underlying resentment.  I wouldn't say they necessarily resent their child, but they resent what they missed out on and I think that the kid ends up being punished for that...if that makes any sense at all.
  • I don't think even the most mature 16 yr old (and really, aren't those the ones least likely to get knocked up anyway?) is capable of parenting.Word.  I can't see myself encouraging a 16 year old who let herself get knocked up to become solely responsible for a baby; I think that spells disaster for the baby's future, not to mention the 16 year old's.I was raised by my grandparents because my mom was an irresponsible fuckup (at 22, even), so I'd have to at least be willing to do the same, I think, lest I consign myself to the world's biggest crate of hippos.  I think I'd push adoption first, but if she wasn't completely comfortable with that, I'd be willing to raise the baby.  I really like the idea of requiring the 16 year old to get her GED before the baby is born, and she'd certainly become financially responsible for herself, but I can see myself assuming full responsibility for the baby.
  • Again, agreeing with Fallin.The price of having a child at 16 is that you have to give up--or work much, much harder at--some of your goals. She would need to get through whatever schooling she can as quickly as possible so that she would be able to work. Her priorities would have to be work and baby. Whatever she decided to do for her education would have to come after that.
  • I see you being more sympathetic to the idea of raising a grandchild, but I don't think refusing to make the decision your grandparents made would reserve you a place in the hippo-crate.
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  • Going back to the reunion...I could not believe that Ebony and Josh had gotten married. Good Lord. I saw their episode last week, and was absolutely floored at how selfish he was. She had to complete what... 4 credits to graduate? He refused to get home from school on time to take care of the baby so she could go to night school, and she didn't graduate. So a few weeks later she goes and marries the assshole?I missed the second half of the Catelynn/Tyler part, and didn't see the Whitney update because I had to go to bed. What is wrong with Whitney's baby (someone mentioned a medical condition)?
  • I would probably also have her talk to some people who made each of her options because they'd have more insight than me.  But yeah if she wanted to keep the baby I would help her (or him, I've seen that Lifetime movie).
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  • I would just feel hypocritical if I told my kid I'd have nothing to do with her child, having benefited from the same arrangement myself.  I also feel like, "well, you and this baby are on your own now!" just isn't how family works to me.  I can't see *forcing* adoption (although it would certainly be something I'd encourage as the first, most preferable option) if I were at all able (health-wise and financially) to provide for the baby.  The 16 year old chose to mess up her own life by getting pregnant--she gets to grow up fast and start being an adult, but I think the baby deserves a shot at a comfortable and secure homelife, preferably with blood family if we're able, but certainly with an adoptive family if we're not.  Sending it out into the world with a 16 year old mother doesn't give it a chance.
  • I am surpised you would not eat the baby groomz. I would give my 16 yo to fallin because she has the best ideas.
  • Sending it out into the world with a 16 year old mother doesn't give it a chance. Exactly.  My little sister is 16 and I don't even trust her to take care of a car.
    TTC since 07/11 Me: 32 AO PCOS/DH: 32 Lowish count/motility IUI#1-3 = BFN (Clomid, Clomid-->Femara, Injects) IVF#1 ER on 9/24 19 ER/19 M/9 F w/ICSI Transferred a 5AA and a 5BB on 9/29 Beta 10/9 = 139 Beta 10/11 = 287
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  • I can honestly say I have no idea.  It would depend on my daughter, what type of person she was, what she could handle, what she wanted to do, what I could handle at that point, what I wanted to do....
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  • Sending it out into the world with a 16 year old mother doesn't give it a chance.That's why I would encourage adoption.  I'm not willing to raise a baby for my irresponsible 16 year old.  It gives her an unrealistic idea of what it takes to be a parent, and if I wanted another baby I would have had my own.  There are great people waiting out there for a baby to adopt, and it would make me feel much better giving the baby to people who want it desperately instead of trying to find ways to accommodate the kid into my life.
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  • I *might* end up helping to take care of the kid, at least until baby mama gets through a local, community college while helping to take care of the kid, but I certainly wouldn't put that on the table as an option.  I'd want to emphasize how hard choosing to keep the baby was going to be.
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  • I like Fallin's "You have nine months to get a GED and a job" line if the kid wants to keep it. Should I find myself in that situation, I might use it. I'd encourage adoption first, abortion second.

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  • On the flip side, since we have so many boy mommas here, what would you do if your 16 year old son got his girlfriend pregnant.
  • Heather--he has a genetic liver disorder. He's ok, but he'll ever be able to smoke or drink alcohol because his body doesn't metabolize it the same way (or something like that). She was whining that he'll never get to grow up and go to parties. :-|
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    I bet her FUPA's name is Shane, like the gunslinger/drifter of literature.--HappyTummy
  • On the flip side, since we have so many boy mommas here, what would you do if your 16 year old son got his girlfriend pregnant. Good question, especially in light of the discussion yesterday. I think I'd encourage him to encourage her to adopt or abort.  I'd tell him to get a job to provide support and I'd give the same line about not taking care of the baby myself.
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  • Nice, Bethie. And so his father smokes in the house and exposes the kid to secondhand smoke? Fabulous parenting.
  • ::hitches sidecar to Wing-ed's "give my 16 year old teenage parents to Fallin" unicycle::

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  • I don't want your effed up 16 year olds, but I'm glad to take your adorable 1 year olds.
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  • I have neither, but you are welcome to my ovulation pain. that is the best I have right now.
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