s/o child care, Car's mom...

tastyburger

okay, so Car's parents both work and Jamie is going back to work Aug. 10th. So they've been doing day care trials to get Car "gently" used to day care. So last night, I stopped by her house passing through on my way to IN and she wanted to go to Target. Car was sleeping, so I'm like GREAT. No baby stuff, let's just leave Car w. Dad and go! Jamie's like "I've never left him alone w. Dean (her H)." I said, "JAMIE. You are leaving your kid in DAYCARE next week and you haven't left him w. Dean?" "They're professionals." OMG. So I grabbed her arm and took her to Target. We talked about it a bit about how that can be damaging to Dean's parenting "psyche" or whatever, which she realizes. Moms, am I totally off base here or did you feel it was important that baby & daddy get some good "alone" time together too??

FallinAgain

I know a surprising number of new moms with this brand of crazy.

Vinny08

Uh, hell yeah it's important for dads to have their own time. While on maternity leave, my husband only did the child care when I would go out for a few hours.  I think he was uncomfortable doing anything while I was around.  I don't know if this is just something that most men feel with newborns, or if I really was a controlling bi*ch.  Maybe a bit from column A and a bit from column B.Now that he is a stay at home dad, I ask him for tips.  I believe that a person cannot get comfortable around a baby until they have significant time to figure it all on on their own.

Mrs.Expchic

Hells yea.  How did he do?  How many times did she call?

myboys04

I knew some women who used the words "babysit" and "husband" all in the same sentence. When does a father babysit his own child? Why even breed with someone you won't leave you child alone with.

tastyburger

[i]How did he do? How many times did she call?[i] I didn't let her call . . . we were gone for an hour at the most, for toast's sake. But she did spend most of the time talking about being worried about it. It was a good first step. He did great . . but we get to her front door and she hears Car crying. She looks at me, panicked, and is like "HE IS SCREAMING IN THERE." So she unlocks the door and we walk in and Dean's like "I SWEAR TO GOD HE JUST STARTED, HE'S BEEN FINE" and I could tell he was worried that she'd think he'd do a bad job.

BermudaBride07

That is going to foster some serious mother/son attachment issues.  She better nip that in the bud. Good for you for forcing her out of the house. 

GroomzMcFinehiney

I have a close friend with 3 kids, 11, 5 and 4.  She hardly ever leaves them at home with their father.  I think it has more to do with her accepting the fact that he's a lazy bum than with his acutal ability to watch his own kids. The average converstaion is Groomz: Let's go out tomorrow night.Friend: Let me see if I can get a babysitter.Groomz: What's your husband doing?Friend: Well, he'll be pretty tired (read: stoned).Groomz: Poor guy.  I hope he gets some rest so you can get a break tomorrow.  rinse.  repeat.

buddhagouda

Granted, I don't have kids, but I can't imagine not trusting Zane with our child. If you take your partner out of the equation, you are basically turning yourself into a single parent. Why?

CaliopeSpidrman

It seems like this is a pretty widespread weirdness.  I guess we all assume we know how to do something better than other people, but wouldn't you WANT your partner to get in time with the baby too?  At the very least so you can get some alone time?  To pee in private?

Mrs.Babbsy

This is one concept I do not understand. A will have lots of alone time with the girls. I am not going to be one of those moms, wants I get enough supply built up I am heading out withmy friends! I don't understand why some women don't trust the H's alone with their children. If you feel that way, don't have children with the man. My BIL barely "watches" his kids and is usually all on my sister and it pisses me off!

myboys04

Groomz I knew someone like that. She has seven children. When she wanted to go out, she had to ask her husband to babysit (most often he'd say no) or hire a someone to babysit because her husband needed rest and watching the kids was too much work.

GroomzMcFinehiney

Honestly, I will have to force myself to let Jimmy watch our kids.  I trust him, but he's not terribly attentive to little things like turning off lights when he leaves the room or putting away perishable items after dinner.  Part of me will equate this to forgetting use a carseat or feed baby.  I know he'll be fine, and the care of a child isn't really comparable to the mundane things he does that just get on my nerves.  But I'll be counting on you folks to remind me that I'm a conrolling shrew from time to time.  You will be my childcarewhores.

Irishgrl417

All new moms need a friend like Tasty. I'm glad the dad didn't freak and call her. My friend & her baby daddy split up. She drops the baby off at his place one day and is out doing errands. She gets a call saying "He hasn't stopped screaming since you left. You need to come pick him up NOW." So of course she did b/c she couldn't stand the thought of her baby screaming but maybe if the guy wasn't slacking off on his parenting responsibilities he'd know how to soothe the baby. Yet he wants her to agree to shared custody without child support. I just hope when I have kids, I don't have sneak out to get my H to watch the baby by himself. We were around a 5 mo. old, a 1 1/2 and 3 yr old the other day. Afterwards he asked if he could just skip to having a 3 yr old b/c she was cool and he doesn't know what to do with the younger ones. He was ok w/ the 1.5 yr old but informs me he's not taking young babies out alone. Hopefully that doesn't apply to staying at home.

buddhagouda

[i]Honestly, I will have to force myself to let Jimmy watch our kids. I trust him, but he's not terribly attentive to little things like turning off lights when he leaves the room or putting away perishable items after dinner. Part of me will equate this to forgetting use a carseat or feed baby.[/i] Zane is the same way. I know that when I go out of town, I always remind him to feed the dog (he has never actually forgotten to feed him) and other random around the house things. I think that is just me being OCD and feeling that things can't really get done if I don't do them myself. That being said, I would still trust him 100% with our baby. I would just mentally prepare to have to clean up some messes when I got home.

BrideBuddies

I think it's crucial for both parents to be comfortable being alone with the baby.   If I get sick or something, hubby would have to step up and take care of business anyway.  And if he doesn't know what to do, he'd be constantly paranoid and freaked out, too.  What good is that?My crazy hypochondriac new mom friend sounds a lot like your friend.I swear she will probably never allow her daughter out of her sight.  Ever.  The kid is 5 months old and mom won't even run a quick errand without taking her along.  The father is a perfectly good daddy who changes diapers, gives baths, etc.  But mom is so darn overprotective... she exclusively BFs and won't even consider using a bottle of milk as a backup plan or at nighttime.I can't see how this is good for their marriage, either.  She pretty much bosses her poor husband around all the time as it is.... Sigh... at least I can see the type of mom I DON"T want to become!  

.MrsBailey.

I hate when mother's say that dad is going to "babysit". Not really since it is his kid he is just doing what he is suppose to do. I will be leaving my kids with my H all the time cause I am not going to tote them with me EVERYWHERE. Way more work than needs to be done.

mrs.R.tobe

I always felt fine leaving the baby with her daddy. I would rather leave her with him than anyone else. I think it is important. The baby should grow up to know he has two parents who can look after them. Does you friend get out on her own every now and then? It's hard at first, but you NEED that alone time or you will crack up.

Novemberrocks

my H will absolutely get alone time with the baby.  He's the kid's parent after all, and I'm going to need some time away from the baby.I actually think it's important to get friends and family members to take care of the baby while mom and dad are not there...I think it's essential for the baby to be comfortable with other adults.  My sister is going back to work on Wed, and Isla will be going to the brothel...I mean daycare.  It'll be very good for Isla - she needs to learn to be consoled by someone other than her parents.

samfish2bcrab

That's ridiculous.   Andy is just as capable at home alone with Lila as I am.  

shorty2

I had no problem leaving the babies with daddy.  He was great considering how nervous he was before they were born.  Good for you making her go out.