April 2012 Weddings

Dealing with pushy family

Has anyone else had trouble with demanding family/friends, from either side?
My FMIL nitpicks every idea I have and is insisting that cousins my FH has never met be invited, along with the entire church where the ceremony is to be held. She insists that its rude to have a wedding where members can't even attend, but we chose to go with a strict plan regarding invites...close friends and close family only in order to keep it intimate and keep costs down, as dinner will be $15 a head. We can't fit the congregation (40ish people), plus my fam/friends and his fam/friends! The church only seats about 90! She suggested a separate reception at the church and only inviting some people to the wedding, but I don't want to do that. Its more to do and buy and its just not what I want. Plus that still does not solve the seating issue.  
However, she assures me only about 15 people would probably show up. Should I take her idea (post an invitation on the church bulletin board, still have members RSVP, of course) or ask her for addresses of those 15 people and mail specific invites? 
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