Confessions go here

jens_a_ten

And go.

modb1rd

I am fantasizing about cutting my assistant's tongue out and feeding it to her so that I A. Don't have to listen to her defensive whining any more B. She can't make any more phone calls or arrangements which she will then mess up Pony Farts. She will finally figure out that I am annoyed with her.  

shanollee

I kinda dozed off on the toilet a little while ago

mashedpotato

my H bought me a snuggie for our anniversary, it also came with a free book light, and I love both of them.

blynn03

Confession from a lurker....I love that you guys talk about pooping rainbows, pony farts, and crotchpheasants so much.

tarafire

I have been practicing my one-handed clapping with both hands in hopes that one day I will be able to beat the World Record for One Handed Claps. Let me tell you, I am pretty fast. I'm a loser.

sparrowsocks

My MIL asked if I wanted to hang out with her this weekend while H is out of town.  I thanked her for thinking of me but said I had plans with friends.  My friends are bags of mulch and sleeping in.

AngieP900

I don't understand "spitters".

FallinAgain

I think people who don't enjoy Tarafire's randomness are funny.

blynn03

I have been practicing my one-handed clapping with both hands in hopes that one day I will be able to beat the World Record for One Handed Claps.Okay, so...what is the world record?  Because I am awesome at one-handed clapping....but only with my right hand, which is weird because I'm left handed.

lmydogally

I think Palm Fans and Message in a bottle invites are the lamest wedding ideas ever. oh wait, I was supposed to post this on my local board.

sparrowsocks

Dear Jen, You forgot to confess.  Love, Sparrow.

EmilyJo

spitters... in the sack? tobacco users? those with excess saliva?my MIL drives me INSANE giving financial advice when ive checked online and have seen how many times she has refinanced her home and for what amounts. she claims that the professionals have no idea what they are talking about. uh huh.

FallinAgain

Also, I was anti-Jens and now I am not.

KayRI

I'm really irritated with F over some petty laundry and drycleaning issues but I'm not saying anything because we've been having a lot of sex lately and I don't want to upset the apple cart.

wingedbride

I cannot have sex because of my cervical issues. I wasn't having any anyway because of how awful I felt, but the second that we were told we couldn't I immediately wanted to rip my husband's clothes off.It irritated me that when both of my doctor's discussed this with us, they looked at my husband and not me. Or maybe I am amused. it is hard to say.

mashedpotato

winged, just out of curiosity if you can't have sex can you do other things?  Is it the inserting part that is bad or do they not want you to orgasm either?

SarahBethBR

I had a huge fight with H last night.  HUGE. I really can't remember what it was about either.  Probably stress about our oven crapping out but I have no clue what it was ostensibly about.

wingedbride

It is kind of a combo, mashed.

AngieP900

Spitters in the sack. One of my BFs is a spitter. I figure after what you just put in your mouth, what's a tablespoon of fluid.

jens_a_ten

Sparrow, I'm trying to think of a good confession, everything I can think of is lame. I will confess that I spent a minute trying to one hand clap really fast after I read Tara's confession.

noisy_penguin

OH. As opposed to swallowing. I don't understand spitting. It's already there.My confession is that after the disastrous crown stuff at my dentist I didn't go back to get a cavity filled. I know it's dumb. I know I just need to go in and get it over with and then start with a new dentist for my next cleaning and stuff. But fucck, I was finally getting over dentist fear and she did the same damn "oh, it's okay that the local is wearing off, we'll be done in a minute" crap that gave me dentist fear in the first place.

KayRI

i am a spitter.  the thought of swallowing makes me gag.

tarafire

Winged- I feel bad for you. I would probably shrivel up and die if I were you. Hold in there, sport.Fallin- I also enjoy people who don't find my random posts funny. They're supposed to be serious. I'm serious.You all tried the one-handed clap, don't lie.http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FtzlUQgIVvMSo I don't think I am going to break it OR take a vid of me doing it, because I make a face that is not normal and should not be made.

wingedbride

What about cheeking? You know, it is still there and will slowly dissolve but it is not a full on swallow either? Like, you can keep it in there, then go get a diet coke to wash it down? like a sperm shooter?

Stackeye210

So I'm kind of a mean wife and all.........last night while at Blockbuster I farted right where I was guessing Mr Stack would go next and then bolted to the other side of the store.  30 seconds later he yells across blockbuster - "FIRST NAME LAST NAME, that was so uncool"  I haven't laughed that hard in a long time, I wasn't embarrassed at all, actually I was proud of myself.  I promise I don't act 12 all the time. 

EmilyJo

i confess that i rarely to never finish the job because sex always ensues.

SarahBethBR

Winged, that is grosser than swallowing to me.  Like noisy said, it's already there, why ruin a diet coke with the taste of it?I'm glad no one is in the office today so they can't see me flailing my arms quickly.

Stackeye210

I confess that I pretend to swallow more then I swallow.

AngieP900

I'll take that Winger. It's not like I want to put it on my cereal or anything, but it's not the most noxious substance I've encountered.

shanollee

I confess that at very first Tara#2 annoyed me, but that quickly went away.  I pretty much like everybody, so I guess that's not too surprising, and therefore not much of a confession