needing some insight

Hester930

Has anyone dealt with parental divorce?  My parents are about to divorce...right as we are planning our wedding. It's a really sticky situation...mom is getting involved in a relationship with my bio dad after 26 years...directly out of her 21 year marriage to my "dad".
All the back and forth that happened with the FI over what kind of wedding ceremony to have...he's finally back on with me about an actual wedding...and now I'm thinking it would all just be easier and definitely secured in the "about us" if we go somewhere...like a wedding moon, rather than deal with the intricate drama that I am thinking will inevitably arise regarding other family members.
 

shortgirltx

Both DH and my parents are divorced and our dads are both remarried, which caused a lot of issues with MIL.  They've been seperated for almost 18ish years and still has not come to terms with it.  Possibly a bit jealous as well.   DH's parents, more specifcally the mom, made things weird but at least no one attacked each other like in the past.  They did know that if anyone started anything they would be asked to leave immediately.  

I always thought I would elope, even growing up, because of the drama.  In the end we didn't but if a wedding is what you want, rather than eloping, then by all means, do what you want!  You are going to have drama no matter what.

stephl3055

My parents have been divorced for 20+ years and all 4 parents don't get along really.  But on my wedding day and (mostly) prior to that, they were cordial with each other.  If you think there might be drama between them, I doubt changing your plans will prevent any of that.  So do what you want and don't let them make you change your mind or do something you don't want. 

If your parents can't behave on your wedding day, it is in no way a reflection on you.  I'm not sure when your wedding is, but if you're still concerned about it once the date gets closer, talk to them and tell them that this day means a lot to you and you would appreciate it if they could put their differences aside for that one day.

NMac2010

I wouldn't change your wedding plans just because of potential family drama. This is your and FI's day.

My parents have been divorced for 18 years, and both are remarried and I don't think my parents have been in the same room in, I can't even remember how long. It will happen on my wedding day, and it may be a little strange, but it's one day. I think they're adults and I would hope they can handle themselves accordingly.

serlace

I can imagine your stress.  FI's parents are divorced and my parents are divorced.  My mom is not remarried, but my dad is.  They all get along.  His mom is remarried and his dad isn't.  His dad has on "off and on" girlfriend who loves to cause drama.  I'm praying they are "off' when our wedding rolls around.

PPs are right that there will be drama no matter what - divorce or no divorce.  In my personal experience drama and wedding go hand in hand.  If I had it all to do over again, we would have a destination wedding (where only a few people could attend) instead of the whole wedding we are having now. 

I agree, if you want a wedding, then have a wedding.  Maybe you can sit down separately with each party and discuss how important it is that they all get along for at least one day.  If the girlfriend does come and starts to make a scene, she will be escorted out.  Hurt feelings or not. 

donnamarie02

I agree w/PP for whatever reason weddings and funerals always bring out drama, try not to let it get to you to much.

MsLaura31

My parents are divorced but I don't expect it to cause much drama....

However, my mom's parents had a nasty divorce (like my grandfather married his secretary, who was also my grandmother's best friend.) When my mom married my step-father, it actually helped to heal the family. Sure, things were still weird between them, but they are now able to be in the same room together and sometimes they even all come to holidays (which before were always split.)

I know that's just one case, but I just wanted to point out that it's not always terrible...

(And in case anyone's curious, my grandfather and his wife are now pretty miserable together. My grandmother feels lucky everyday to have avoided what the new wife is now going through.)

Hester930

thank you for the responses. it is a messy deal, but the wedding isn't for another year and couple months...maybe things will ease before then. mom is getting involved with my biological father, whom i just met over mother's day weekend this year.
he's a stranger to me, still...i've not been without a father figure, and now my mother is involved with him, he's probably moving down...and mom was a big part of the wedding planning...i don't know how that's going to continue. but it will be ok. thank you, again. i haven't made any solid plans yet, other than choosing my dress. i'll get the dress and we may just do a destination wedding. i'll take it one step at a time. thank you, again.