Secret Gender Baby...

shan87

http://tinyurl.com/3u6dxhh


CN: Parent's keep their 3rd child's gender a secret from family and friends, in the hopes that their baby will be free to be whom ever they want and to aid her crusade against the tyranny of assigned gender roles.


I am curious as to other thoughts about this... I think they have gone a little too far with this. Personally, when I get pregnant I don't want to know the gender because then I'll start planning their life accordingly. I also don't think that boys should only be interested in things because they are a boy or similarly with girls etc. But I wondering if this high level of gender neutral treatment will be more confusing for the children. It seems from the article that the oldest boy is already having some issues with it.

Anyone agree or disagree or have anything else to add?

ETA: I am also curious if this "let them be and do what they want" attitude/philosophy spills over to other behavioral things, as in tantrums or poor manners etc.

[Deleted User]

People are discussing it on E if you want to check out their opinions too. I'm too lazy to retype what I said there.

TheCranberry

I can't see the link.  This child is already born? 

I know what they're saying about not kowtowing to proscribed gender roles, but I don't see how this will work for long.  It seems like they are setting their child up to be the "other" even among the child's family.

shan87

Here is the E Link in case anyone is curious...

http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_nwr-gendless-child

SereJane

Yeah, it's being discussed on E.
I do think the parents have gone too far with this. Like a poster on E said, now instead of ignoring the child's gender, that's going to be what defines them, because of all the speculation caused.
I am all for encouraging kids to do what THEY want to do and be their own person, but to deny that the child is a certain sex seems ridiculous.

AllAboutTheBenjamin

My parents never told me my gender, and look how good I turned out.  Wait...

Denise91980

I sense a book being written in 25-30 years



Oh wait...it already was! Anyway, I get their point, but at the same time the child will grow up to realize their gender and may be upset that their parent did this because now they are being treated more differently than they would if people knew the child's gender.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_secret-gender-baby?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:104e414b-4a47-4883-99b2-18a3d99eec65Post:25130dda-525a-48e8-8af9-986837fe54bf">Secret Gender Baby...</a>:
[QUOTE]ETA: I am also curious if this "let them be and do what they want" attitude/philosophy spills over to other behavioral things, as in tantrums or poor manners etc.
Posted by shan87[/QUOTE]

I will say that I had to research the unschooling movement for a story I did in college and I've known people who have done and it's... liberal parenting to the max. I knew kids who were 7 and 10 and couldn't read because they just weren't interested in learning how to do so.

AllAboutTheBenjamin

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_secret-gender-baby?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:104e414b-4a47-4883-99b2-18a3d99eec65Post:36bfcaf7-f719-4d80-b6bc-6baab8fa279f">Re: Secret Gender Baby...</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Secret Gender Baby... : I will say that I had to research the unschooling movement for a story I did in college and I've known people who have done and it's... liberal parenting to the max.<strong> I knew kids who were 7 and 10 and couldn't read because they just weren't interested in learning how to do so.</strong>
Posted by msmerymac[/QUOTE]

That is seriously fuckedup.

shan87

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_secret-gender-baby?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:104e414b-4a47-4883-99b2-18a3d99eec65Post:36bfcaf7-f719-4d80-b6bc-6baab8fa279f">Re: Secret Gender Baby...</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Secret Gender Baby... : I will say that I had to research the unschooling movement for a story I did in college and I've known people who have done and it's... liberal parenting to the max. I knew kids who were 7 and 10 and couldn't read because they just weren't interested in learning how to do so.
Posted by msmerymac[/QUOTE]

This actually breaks my heart and why children need PARENTS. Egh they need nuturing and to be taught things.

jaycee7389

I've already responded to this on a few boards so I'm not going to repeat it again, but I'll add that this new "parenting" isn't really parenting in my opinion.

JenGin74

That's pretty ridiculous.

NikBaker

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_secret-gender-baby?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:104e414b-4a47-4883-99b2-18a3d99eec65Post:7d074315-0c3c-49d1-bf3c-47cfdf9c626e">Re: Secret Gender Baby...</a>:
[QUOTE]I've already responded to this on a few boards so I'm not going to repeat it again, but I'll add that this new "parenting" isn't really parenting in my opinion.
Posted by jaycee7389[/QUOTE]

Hmmmmmm, maybe we should start letting babies be raised by wolves, I think they would do a better job.

I am very disgusted with recent parenting skills, I see so many kids and tweens out in public that I just want to slap and say where are your parents? I had always been on the fence about having children, but I have now decided I want them just so I can raise good ones.