Snarky Brides
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I wish my mom were here for all this...

...because it makes it so much more complicated that she isn't (other than it sucks to get married without your mom).

I am doing our programs tonight, or rather, writing them up.

Parents of the Groom - easy.

Parents of the Bride? This effing sucks. I pretty much can't mention my dad without mentioning his wife. But she isn't my parent.

What should I do. Suck it up? 

Re: I wish my mom were here for all this...

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    should I just have the heading - parents and then name my dad and FI's mom and dad?
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    That sounds reasonable to me.  But I'm not really an etiquette expert, and we are skipping programs altogether.

    For what it's worth, I empathize with you- my mom passed away in 2003 and this whole wedding planning process feels strange without her, like I have a giant blind spot I refuse to look at because it's just too painful.
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    I would include his wife and then maybe add something in the program about your mom?
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    That sounds okay to me too... I'd just worry about hurting your stepmom's feelings.  But you know her and your dad and the whole situation more than me.
    panther
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    urg. I think I need to just include her.

    When we did invites we did 'and their families' because my dad said that if his name was listed hers needed to be to. But I hate the idea of her being listed under parents. She is NOT my parent. I was 29 when they got married, maybe 30. It literally makes me want to cry but I know that I need to think about my father because he is 71 and he misses my mom too.

    I hate being the bigger person and doing what is right ALL THE EFFING TIME. I desperately wish I had it in my to be a bridezilla about this but I don't, because I don't want to be a bridezilla.
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    Are you close with your stepmom? I seem to remember you saying she came into your life as an adult.

    So, she's not your parent and never filled that role, right?

    I'd put Dad's name and the late Mom's name.
     That's just me, though. Are some people put a cross by a deceased person's name.
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    Your dad might understand your reason for not listing her as a parent.  Maybe bring it up to him?  I'm sorry you're going through this.  I complain about my mom a lot but the truth is I'm really glad she's around for my wedding.  I'd be lost.
    panther
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_wish-mom-were-here-this?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:159d46e2-a3f2-4194-a847-48ab823218f2Post:e795b07b-8181-4d85-a20f-3e55fc8e242c">Re: I wish my mom were here for all this...</a>:
    [QUOTE]urg. I think I need to just include her. When we did invites we did 'and their families' because my dad said that if his name was listed hers needed to be to. But I hate the idea of her being listed under parents. She is NOT my parent. I was 29 when they got married, maybe 30. It literally makes me want to cry but I know that I need to think about my father because he is 71 and he misses my mom too. I hate being the bigger person and doing what is right ALL THE EFFING TIME. I desperately wish I had it in my to be a bridezilla about this but I don't, because I don't want to be a bridezilla.
    Posted by number55[/QUOTE]


    I'm really sorry :( I have no clue how to handle this and I wish I had some magic answer for you.  My only suggestion would be to just skip the programs
    imageimage
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    Okay, is this too obvious/ridiculous:

    Parents
    Dr. MY LAST NAME and his wife MRS. HER LASTNAME
    MR and MRS FI'sLASTNAME.

    or is that too weird?
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    yeah, I am not close to new wife. She lives 6 hours away (by car) and I have been around her all of maybe 6 times ever. I only visit Montreal twice a year max so we really haven't spent much time together. She is perfectly nice and I am happy for them. But she isn't my mom, she isn't even my step mom. I no longer have a mother or anyone who really fulfills that role.
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    I think that is fine Number. I also think it is fine to list your mom. She's still your mom. Anyone in your life  will know the situation, and I think it is completely okay to include her.
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    Aww I am really sorry. I am very close to my mom. I could no imagine your loss :(
     
    HUGS!
    image
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    edited October 2010
    I didn't list my stepparents. Just my parents, separately. I guess it matters if your dad will mind? My dad's GF and mom's husband are getting a corsage/bout and walking down the aisle while parents are seated, though.

    I think at the last wedding I went to the groom listes his mom and stepfather under parents and then his dad under the in memorium section. BUT I also think his mom remarried when he was in high school.
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