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XP: Unity Candle

I have a question about the unity candle because I haven't decided if we are going to do it or not. 

So, background is that my parents are divorced and my mom and step-mother are terribly jealous of each other for different reasons.  My FMIL is a great woman and when I was telling her we might not do it because it's generally the mother's that do it, she seemed a tad disappointed.  I would never in my right mind pick my mother to have that honor but I also couldn't imagine insulting her my having my step-mother do it in front of her. 

So, to get to my true question.......Can my father and his mother do the lighting of the unity candles?  Would that look silly?  Should we skip it?  When would they do it since it's usually done as the mothers are being seated.  Would my father and his mother do it after I am walked down the aisle with my father?

So confused. 
imageLilypie First Birthday tickers BFP #1 12/12/11 - Missed M/C 1/9/12 ~ BFP #2 4/5/2012
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