I SO want to slap that girl.....

SSutton14

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_want-slap-girl?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:1f0c8ee1-b63e-42fa-a7ac-b19e6b421dcaPost:8d8fde4f-e627-439a-ad4f-adf65c2b0fa8">Re: I SO want to slap that girl.....</a>:
[QUOTE]My advice is to try to seperate the two relationships. First have a talk with her and tell her you've heard her opinion of your FI (repeatedly), but that you love him and ARE going to spend the rest of your life with him, and as your sister she needs to let you be happy and ask her to simply be polite and cordial. They don't need to hang out or be friends, but she can't make the entire family uncomfortable everytime you all get together, that's not fair to anyone. And she doesn't need to like him, that's HER problem. In a perfect world she would, or at least would give a good reason as to why she doesn't. I'm going to go out on a limb here and guess that she's single? I think it's a jealousy issue first and foremost. You two were probably BFFs when you were both single and when you have a man in your life you spend less time with her and she gets really jealous, am I right? I know people like this which is why I make the conjecture. Have a solid relationship with your sister, hang out with her from time to time just the two of you. And make sure your FI knows that it doesn't matter what she thinks, your relationship is solid. I wouldn't be able to write off one of my sisters if they were being an douche and hating my FI for no reason, I'd just have to make the best of it, that's my advice. Short of that if it's a whole she's single and jealous issue - find her a date!
Posted by kcullen37[/QUOTE]

Funny thing is that's what everyone thinks when I talk about the situation.  She is actually Married with two kids.  They have a great relationship and she and I have NEVER been best friends.  I don't know if her reaction to FI & I is just her way of being upset that the focus isn't on her anymore or what but it is a problem for sure.  We had a good relationship before but weren't way close or anything.  Frankly now that I think about it.... She has never liked my friends either.... Hmm.... I love FI and she's not going to come between us, nor are her feelings for him going to make me pull away from her.  Is it crazy to want to fix this even though there is no clear solution? 

I kids aren't the solution to this problem but if I know my sister even a little bit, she will soften her heart at least enough to be reasonable.  That's all I meant when I said that when the first niece or nephew comes along she'll change.  Even if that's not the case and she is still a suborn bitch, I know I will be happily married with a family she will be sorry she is missing out on due to her own stupidity.

SSutton14

Force of habbit on the "love".  I have all kinds of ladies where I work that call me "sugar" & "dumpling" & "hun" & "doll".... They drive me NUTS! Dumpling is the WORST though....  Makes me feel like a fat little kid with food all over my face. 

LessThanZero

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_want-slap-girl?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:1f0c8ee1-b63e-42fa-a7ac-b19e6b421dcaPost:3d29bfba-8b11-4c4d-8a4a-95701d6cf446">Re: I SO want to slap that girl.....</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: I SO want to slap that girl..... : I hate hate hate this! When guys call me hun I want to call them scumbag. There is no way to say "hun" without coming off scummy.
Posted by Starmusica[/QUOTE]

FI calls me hun or honey quite often. It doesn't bother me if it's him or even someone I don't know as well as long as they aren't actually scummy.

If I'm at a bar and and some guy bumps into me by accident and turns and says "Oh excuse me hun, I'm sorry", I have no issue with it. But if some guy is like, "hey there hun, what's your sign?", then yeah, I have a problem with that.

All in all, it's the person not the word that bothers me when it comes to that stuff I guess.

slubkin

SSutton-

It sounds like your sister is very jealous of any person who takes your attention away from her.  You've said that she always wanted to hang out with you a lot when you were single and she never liked your friends.  She is acting possessive.

My stepdad did the same thing with me when FI and I started dating- he kept telling me FI was too young and he'd dump me in 6 months (I'm so pleased he was wrong about that!) but I think really, the fact that my mom was dead and he was trying to get me to replace her in his life in many ways was why he was jealous and possessive about me with respect to FI.  He didn't want someone else coming in and making me feel independent or having me put someone else ahead of him and his needs/wants.  It was very selfish of him and ultimately, his behavior towards me (it got a LOT worse and a bit scary) caused me to cut him out of my life completely.

I'd have a heart to heart with your sister and comment that you've observed these things, and ask her about how she feels about you getting married.  There may be feelings she has never expressed to you, or something underlying her jealousy and possessiveness that you'd never guess at.  If an open and honest discussion with her doesn't resolve the problem, then it may be nothing will, and you have to just accept that this is who she is and how she will always behave towards you.  In that case, I'd suggest you cut back on how much you include her in your life until you reach a point where you're comfortable putting up with her behavior.

J&K10910

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_want-slap-girl?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:1f0c8ee1-b63e-42fa-a7ac-b19e6b421dcaPost:16173c26-b071-4426-9ac6-199c5d784177">Re: I SO want to slap that girl.....</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: I SO want to slap that girl..... : Wait. I thought we weren't supposed to ask people who they were or how long they've been posting. Am I confused?
Posted by cew515[/QUOTE]

No, silly Cew, B-love (can I call you B-love? ;) ) and I aren't supposed to ask people who they are or how long they've been posting.  It's because we're unique snowflakes.

betrothed123

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_want-slap-girl?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:1f0c8ee1-b63e-42fa-a7ac-b19e6b421dcaPost:37e814f4-eef5-4dec-816f-64e608c232ea">Re: I SO want to slap that girl.....</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: I SO want to slap that girl..... : No, silly Cew, B-love (can I call you B-love? ;) ) and I aren't supposed to ask people who they are or how long they've been posting.  It's because we're unique snowflakes.
Posted by J&K10910[/QUOTE]
You can call me anything you want ;)

Maybe it's just because we're always outspoken that it's a problem when we say something, J.

J&K10910

See, then I would think that people would expect it from us.  But I guess maybe it just makes people read what we say in a not so nice tone.  Which is probably fair enough, you should hear my tone in my head   Even right now, I'm rolling my eyes at you, B-love.

betrothed123

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_want-slap-girl?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:1f0c8ee1-b63e-42fa-a7ac-b19e6b421dcaPost:2f11e3fe-83f5-4b91-89c9-f6c555d6be14">Re: I SO want to slap that girl.....</a>:
[QUOTE]See, then I would think that people would expect it from us.  But I guess maybe it just makes people read what we say in a not so nice tone.  Which is probably fair enough, you should hear my tone in my head ;)  Even right now, I'm rolling my eyes at you, B-love.
Posted by J&K10910[/QUOTE]
That's okay, so am I.

J&K10910

You're rolling your eyes at you too?  That's dumb of you.

missy68

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_want-slap-girl?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:1f0c8ee1-b63e-42fa-a7ac-b19e6b421dcaPost:3d29bfba-8b11-4c4d-8a4a-95701d6cf446">Re: I SO want to slap that girl.....</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: I SO want to slap that girl..... : I hate hate hate this! When guys call me hun I want to call them scumbag. There is no way to say "hun" without coming off scummy.
Posted by Starmusica[/QUOTE]

Probably a good thing you don't live in the Southern states, then. I don't even hear it most times.


And J, B would have to roll her eyes, so they could get back to the right position to roll them at you. ;)