Snarky Brides
Options

Best Craigslist Ad Ever

Don't know if anyone has seen this yet but someone just forwarded it to me at work and it cracked me up. Could be old news for all I know.

http://anchorage.craigslist.org/mis/2268834840.html

Re: Best Craigslist Ad Ever

  • Options
    HA!  Has someone sent that to You Suck At Craigslist?

    image
    Everything the light touches is my kingdom.
  • Options
  • Options

    to the dude(s) banging my wife (a-town)


    Date: 2011-03-16, 9:52AM AKDT
    Reply To This Post


    I know, I know... it’s a sweet piece ain’t it. That thing she does with her tongue.... OMG (you’re welcome... I taught her that) Hell, I’d be hitting that right now if a trip to Prov last year didn’t change all that. Luckily a shot in the butt and a few pills took care of it, but from what I know now... I could have been much worse. I’d kick her to the curve in a second, but she really is a good Mom. I know I'm gone a lot, but a guy has to work. She knew before we got married I'd be gone two weeks every month, and she sure doesn't complain about the paycheck.

    I just have a few favors, common courtesy if you will, AND a little advise.

    I’m not sure if you’re that APD cruiser guy that’s comes by or the airman or from what my neighbor lady tells me any number of guys, but:

    1. please trim, shave, wax, “manscape” or whatever it takes. Those short red/black/brown curlies I keep finding are creeping me out, and I’m getting sick of boiling my sheets every time I get home from the slope

    2.learn to put the seat down and clean up your bad aim. I’m the only guy that lives here, and isn’t me.

    3.Stop messing with my Xbox. I don’t get to play it often, but when I do, don’t want to see your score up there.... Yes, “you the man” at Black Ops, and i obviously am not. If her box isn’t enough for you. Shovel the driveway or fix the sink downstairs. I’m not much of a plumber. Maybe one of you are. Thanks in advance.
    4.STOP using my lube. It’s my personal JO supply. It’s not expensive, but it is mine. Next time if find some missing there will be some cayenne in there for both your enjoyment. Yah, I guess you could say I’m a bit bitter

    5.learn how to reset the browser history on the computer. I’m not into shemales or transexuals, perhaps my wife is now, but I seriously doubt it.

    6.Please do not knock her up. I do not want to raise your child. I’ve had a vasectomy and I know she says she’s on the pill....”just to regulate her cycle” Believe me. if you wrap it up, you’ll be much safer.

    Check the medicine cabinet, or her purse. You’ll find a rx for Valtrex from Carrs. I checked the dosages, it’s not for “cold sores” I’m no doctor but you don’t take 1000mg every day for that. One of you guys gave her the gift that keeps on giving. Luckily I’ve tested clean. I really am a nice guy, and wouldn’t even wish that on Joe Miller. Just in case I bought a box of Magnums and put them in the night stand. (if I know her. You’ll probably need that size)

    One of you guys with sausage fingers left a gold band.. I’m guessing you’re looking for it. Next time you come over, bring a bottle of Jager and a case of Corona and i’ll tell you where it is.
  • Options
    That's great.
    20130105_202820-1_zps07580b43 Lilypie Pregnancy tickers Lilypie Kids Birthday tickers
  • Options
    This part is my fave:

    One of you guys with sausage fingers left a gold band.. I’m guessing you’re looking for it. Next time you come over, bring a bottle of Jager and a case of Corona and i’ll tell you where it is.
    panther
  • Options
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_craigslist-ad-ever?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:1f25febf-dff0-47f7-878d-9369b86468f1Post:3e3070ca-e00d-42c5-8a80-6cf1aef94fe4">Re: Best Craigslist Ad Ever</a>:
    [QUOTE]What does it say, I can't get Craigslist at work.
    Posted by rhonwynv[/QUOTE]

    <div><h2 style="color:#000000;font-family:Times;line-height:normal;font-size:medium;">to the dude(s) banging my wife (a-town)</h2><hr style="color:#000000;font-family:Times;line-height:normal;font-size:medium;" /><span style="color:#000000;font-family:Times;line-height:normal;font-size:medium;" class="Apple-style-span">Date: 2011-03-16, 9:52AM AKDT</span><span style="color:#000000;font-family:Times;line-height:normal;font-size:medium;" class="Apple-style-span">
    </span><div style="color:#000000;font-family:Times;line-height:normal;font-size:medium;">Reply To This Post</div><hr style="color:#000000;font-family:Times;line-height:normal;font-size:medium;" /><span style="color:#000000;font-family:Times;line-height:normal;font-size:medium;" class="Apple-style-span">
    </span><div id="userbody" style="color:#000000;font-family:Times;line-height:normal;font-size:medium;">I know, I know... it’s a sweet piece ain’t it. That thing she does with her tongue.... OMG (you’re welcome... I taught her that) Hell, I’d be hitting that right now if a trip to Prov last year didn’t change all that. Luckily a shot in the butt and a few pills took care of it, but from what I know now... I could have been much worse. I’d kick her to the curve in a second, but she really is a good Mom. I know I'm gone a lot, but a guy has to work. She knew before we got married I'd be gone two weeks every month, and she sure doesn't complain about the paycheck. 

    I just have a few favors, common courtesy if you will, AND a little advise. 

    I’m not sure if you’re that APD cruiser guy that’s comes by or the airman or from what my neighbor lady tells me any number of guys, but: 

    1. please trim, shave, wax, “manscape” or whatever it takes. Those short red/black/brown curlies I keep finding are creeping me out, and I’m getting sick of boiling my sheets every time I get home from the slope 

    2.learn to put the seat down and clean up your bad aim. I’m the only guy that lives here, and isn’t me. 

    3.Stop messing with my Xbox. I don’t get to play it often, but when I do, don’t want to see your score up there.... Yes, “you the man” at Black Ops, and i obviously am not. If her box isn’t enough for you. Shovel the driveway or fix the sink downstairs. I’m not much of a plumber. Maybe one of you are. Thanks in advance. 
    4.STOP using my lube. It’s my personal JO supply. It’s not expensive, but it is mine. Next time if find some missing there will be some cayenne in there for both your enjoyment. Yah, I guess you could say I’m a bit bitter 

    5.learn how to reset the browser history on the computer. I’m not into shemales or transexuals, perhaps my wife is now, but I seriously doubt it. 

    6.Please do not knock her up. I do not want to raise your child. I’ve had a vasectomy and I know she says she’s on the pill....”just to regulate her cycle” Believe me. if you wrap it up, you’ll be much safer. 

    Check the medicine cabinet, or her purse. You’ll find a rx for Valtrex from Carrs. I checked the dosages, it’s not for “cold sores” I’m no doctor but you don’t take 1000mg every day for that. One of you guys gave her the gift that keeps on giving. Luckily I’ve tested clean. I really am a nice guy, and wouldn’t even wish that on Joe Miller. Just in case I bought a box of Magnums and put them in the night stand. (if I know her. You’ll probably need that size) 

    One of you guys with sausage fingers left a gold band.. I’m guessing you’re looking for it. Next time you come over, bring a bottle of Jager and a case of Corona and i’ll tell you where it is. </div></div>
  • Options
    Haha. I don't know Rhon.

    This was my favorite:
    Stop messing with my Xbox. I don’t get to play it often, but when I do, don’t want to see your score up there.... Yes, “you the man” at Black Ops, and i obviously am not. If her box isn’t enough for you.


  • Options
    wow! haha! 
    I can't wait until the day I get to marry my best friend!
  • Options

    OMG funny and ad all in one!

    This one is an oldie but goodie too

    http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/phi/1755781713.html

    image
  • Options
    He is going to kick her to the "curve"

    God, I hate it when people get their cliches wrong.
    Image and video hosting by TinyPic
  • Options
    Omg that's awesome! JO Bro (the one Ricks posted) used to be my fav, but I think I love this guy more. Although, I still always die at "bachelors or equivalent"
  • Options
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_craigslist-ad-ever?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:1f25febf-dff0-47f7-878d-9369b86468f1Post:eaf6a02d-f563-48b3-b17e-44dd8abeda32">Re: Best Craigslist Ad Ever</a>:
    [QUOTE]<a href="http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/phi/1400791578.html" rel='nofollow'>http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/phi/1400791578.html</a>
    Posted by anna.oskar[/QUOTE]

    Holy crap on a cracker!
    panther
  • Options
    That is awesome. 
    I liked the part about the xbox too. And the part about the Valtrex.
    image
  • Options
    http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/all/

    The Best of Craigslist.

    The Cello cracks me up
    20130105_202820-1_zps07580b43 Lilypie Pregnancy tickers Lilypie Kids Birthday tickers
  • Options
    Haha, Chuck Norris
    20130105_202820-1_zps07580b43 Lilypie Pregnancy tickers Lilypie Kids Birthday tickers
  • Options
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_craigslist-ad-ever?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:1f25febf-dff0-47f7-878d-9369b86468f1Post:08fc700a-dd65-4cb8-9f55-858e7f4e42cf">Re: Best Craigslist Ad Ever</a>:
    [QUOTE]<a href="http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/dal/705407729.html" rel='nofollow'>http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/dal/705407729.html</a> I love this one.
    Posted by aprilbride410[/QUOTE]

    Wow. That cat really is ferocious. Did you see that TP roll? Shredded like a mofo!
  • Options
    holy...
    image
    Anniversary
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards