Snarky Brides
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Ugh, MOH issue.

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Re: Ugh, MOH issue.

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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_ugh-moh-issue?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:22e13ffa-1597-4e17-a842-e401740afd66Post:4fab1f8c-3d6a-4626-b6fa-e4b9efa0e509">Re: Ugh, MOH issue.</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Ugh, MOH issue. : This is going to sound really bratty, but I kind of don't want to let her get another dress because she's the whole reason we went with this one.  I know that's bratty and mean, but it's how I feel.  Plus, she said it's the style that she doesn't like now.
    Posted by SondraDee3[/QUOTE]
    IMO your mistake was bending to her will to begin with.  Now she thinks she can walk all over you.
    kd.joseph's wish is my command
    image
    Just call me "Brothel"
    And betrothed, I'm disgusted with most of the comments that you have posted. I don't think I've ever read such judgmental comments in my life. I'm so lucky that the girls I speak to on theknot are nothing like you...I would've never come on here for ADVICE if I would've encountered a big a bitch as you. I genuinely feel awful for your children or your future children, and I think it would be irresponsible of YOU not to invest in their future therapy sessions starting now. Because trust me when I tell you honey, they're gonna need it. ~jcaruncho2010
    my read shelf:
    Betrothed 123's book recommendations, favorite quotes, book clubs, book trivia, book lists (read shelf)
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_ugh-moh-issue?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:22e13ffa-1597-4e17-a842-e401740afd66Post:1df94aba-8b81-4c47-8de3-7f8723f14444">Re: Ugh, MOH issue.</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Ugh, MOH issue. : Sorry Anna, I don't think your post had showed up for me yet when I wrote that.
    Posted by brilibby4[/QUOTE]

    No problem.  i just look for any excuse to eat christmas cookies  ;)
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_ugh-moh-issue?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:22e13ffa-1597-4e17-a842-e401740afd66Post:ed894708-c559-4f6c-a6ae-745c196f3d1c">Re: Ugh, MOH issue.</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Ugh, MOH issue. : So, she's a drama queen pain in the ass.  That doesn't change the fact that you need to move forward and get different dresses. When you hit a snag in your wedding plans, you can't sit and stew about stupid things people do.  It happens.  You gotta put it past you.  Now quit complaining and get to work.
    Posted by AllAboutTheBenjamin[/QUOTE]

    <div>I'm not stewing, I'm trying to move past it, which is why I'm looking for advice.</div><div>
    </div><div>So because one person decided to throw a hissy fit and do something kind of crazy, I have to make everyone get new dresses?  That seems kind of backwards.  I don't know.</div>
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_ugh-moh-issue?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:22e13ffa-1597-4e17-a842-e401740afd66Post:ed894708-c559-4f6c-a6ae-745c196f3d1c">Re: Ugh, MOH issue.</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Ugh, MOH issue. : So, she's a drama queen pain in the ass.  That doesn't change the fact that you need to move forward and get different dresses. When you hit a snag in your wedding plans, you can't sit and stew about stupid things people do.  It happens.  You gotta put it past you.  Now quit complaining and get to work.
    Posted by AllAboutTheBenjamin[/QUOTE]
    So you're suggesting she bend to the MOH's will yet again?  I have to disagree. OP and her BP agreed on a dress.  They don't need to find a different one.  MOH needs to get herself another one.
    kd.joseph's wish is my command
    image
    Just call me "Brothel"
    And betrothed, I'm disgusted with most of the comments that you have posted. I don't think I've ever read such judgmental comments in my life. I'm so lucky that the girls I speak to on theknot are nothing like you...I would've never come on here for ADVICE if I would've encountered a big a bitch as you. I genuinely feel awful for your children or your future children, and I think it would be irresponsible of YOU not to invest in their future therapy sessions starting now. Because trust me when I tell you honey, they're gonna need it. ~jcaruncho2010
    my read shelf:
    Betrothed 123's book recommendations, favorite quotes, book clubs, book trivia, book lists (read shelf)
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_ugh-moh-issue?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:22e13ffa-1597-4e17-a842-e401740afd66Post:0c479723-5ed3-4621-a7cf-d1fc91b145a4">Re: Ugh, MOH issue.</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Ugh, MOH issue. : So you're suggesting she bend to the MOH's will yet again?  I have to disagree. OP and her BP agreed on a dress.  They don't need to find a different one.  MOH needs to get herself another one.
    Posted by betrothed123[/QUOTE]

    And, MOH needs to get over herself.
    image
    Do not mess in the affairs of dinosaurs because you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup.
    I love you Missy. Even though you are not smart enough to take online quizzes to find out really important information. ~cew
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    I interpreted it as since she sold the dress - no one else could get the dress?  I guess I was wrong on that.

    What does your MOH expect you to do then?  If your bridesmaids have their dresses and she sold her dress, then... how is your MOH getting a dress your problem?
    panther
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_ugh-moh-issue?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:22e13ffa-1597-4e17-a842-e401740afd66Post:f155ca3b-d007-4bb0-8eb4-e6669b7b3739">Re: Ugh, MOH issue.</a>:
    [QUOTE]Have the other girls already bought the dress? If so, I'd tell the MOH that that's the dress you're going with, bottom line. If not, then I'd probably just tell my MOH to get the dress she wanted in this color, this fabric, this style, and if she doesn't get it, then she doesn't stand up with you. I also think she sucks for selling the dress when everyone agreed on it.
    Posted by Seshat411[/QUOTE]

    This is it. She has an out if she wants it and you don't even have to day anything.
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    I disagree, AATB. I think OP should stick to the dress now and MOH can either deal with it or walk (don't tell her to walk, OP, I'm just saying). It was the dress she wanted, all the girls got it, then she up and sold it. It's on her, not OP.

    As much as people hate what I'm about to say...it's not about the MOH. She got her dress choice, OP went with it. Now it's what the bride wants, and she can deal with it.
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    I didn't really "bend to her will" Betrothed.  We were talking about it, she had told me privately she didn't have a lot of extra money, and was considering stepping down because she didn't want me to have to pay for it (we're on a limited budget as well), then we were talking about styles, and I asked my girls to show me styles they liked.  She mentioned that dress, the other girls agreed they loved the dress, the lightbulb went off, I asked her privately how she'd feel about wearing the dress again, she got excited and said she'd love to and then she could still be in the wedding, I asked the other girls if they'd mind looking for a similar style, we did, we found it, and it was done.  But I do understand what you're saying.  Maybe she manipulated me, but at the time it was ok because I really just wanted her to be able to stand up with me on my wedding day, and she seemed to really want to also.

    Then she went crazy.  And now I'm trying to not let her manipulate me (again, if that's the case).  
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    Yeah I agree with you Sesh (I got it mixed up before).  The MOH clearly is a twisty wench, and since she HAD a dress, and now doesn't, it sounds like she's the one with problems, not the bride.

    And OP - I would tell her that.  I wouldn't deal with her anymore.  I'd tell her, she knows what style of dress the other girls are wearing.  She's welcome to purchase any dress that style and color that fits in her budget.  The end.
    panther
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_ugh-moh-issue?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:22e13ffa-1597-4e17-a842-e401740afd66Post:edd0695d-70a8-4e54-85c6-6d5e48275200">Re: Ugh, MOH issue.</a>:
    [QUOTE]I didn't really "bend to her will" Betrothed.  We were talking about it, she had told me privately she didn't have a lot of extra money, and was considering stepping down because she didn't want me to have to pay for it (we're on a limited budget as well), then we were talking about styles, and I asked my girls to show me styles they liked.  She mentioned that dress, the other girls agreed they loved the dress, the lightbulb went off, I asked her privately how she'd feel about wearing the dress again, she got excited and said she'd love to and then she could still be in the wedding, I asked the other girls if they'd mind looking for a similar style, we did, we found it, and it was done.  But I do understand what you're saying.  Maybe she manipulated me, but at the time it was ok because I really just wanted her to be able to stand up with me on my wedding day, and she seemed to really want to also. Then she went crazy.  And now I'm trying to not let her manipulate me (again, if that's the case).  
    Posted by SondraDee3[/QUOTE]

    Okay, I must have misinterpreted your earlier post, then.  IT sounded like she strong armed you into the dress after you already had your sights set on another one.

    In that case, I'd say your mistake would be to allow her to strong arm you in this case.  Don't let her walk all over you (and therefore all your BMs) just because she sold her dress.
    kd.joseph's wish is my command
    image
    Just call me "Brothel"
    And betrothed, I'm disgusted with most of the comments that you have posted. I don't think I've ever read such judgmental comments in my life. I'm so lucky that the girls I speak to on theknot are nothing like you...I would've never come on here for ADVICE if I would've encountered a big a bitch as you. I genuinely feel awful for your children or your future children, and I think it would be irresponsible of YOU not to invest in their future therapy sessions starting now. Because trust me when I tell you honey, they're gonna need it. ~jcaruncho2010
    my read shelf:
    Betrothed 123's book recommendations, favorite quotes, book clubs, book trivia, book lists (read shelf)
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    anna.oskaranna.oskar member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2010
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_ugh-moh-issue?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:22e13ffa-1597-4e17-a842-e401740afd66Post:edd0695d-70a8-4e54-85c6-6d5e48275200">Re: Ugh, MOH issue.</a>:
    [QUOTE]I didn't really "bend to her will" Betrothed.  We were talking about it, she had told me privately she didn't have a lot of extra money, and was considering stepping down because she didn't want me to have to pay for it (we're on a limited budget as well), then we were talking about styles, and I asked my girls to show me styles they liked.  She mentioned that dress, the other girls agreed they loved the dress, the lightbulb went off, I asked her privately how she'd feel about wearing the dress again, she got excited and said she'd love to and then she could still be in the wedding, I asked the other girls if they'd mind looking for a similar style, we did, we found it, and it was done.  But I do understand what you're saying.  Maybe she manipulated me, but at the time it was ok because I really just wanted her to be able to stand up with me on my wedding day, and she seemed to really want to also. Then she went crazy.  And now I'm trying to not let her manipulate me (again, if that's the case).  
    Posted by SondraDee3[/QUOTE]

    i had a MOH/best friend like this.

    I haven't talked to her in 5 months at all and before that hadn't had a decent conversation with her since the wedding. 

    Whatever the case may be for you,  Please don't let a toxic personality effect your joy.  Psychic vampires are everywhere. Don't let one feed off of you.
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    Ditto Sesh. Unless maybe money issues are so bad right now she's selling her stuff for extra money (including her old dress). If this were my friend I'd have a "what the heck?" conversation with her about selling the dress, but I don't think you need to accomodate her any more than you already have.
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_ugh-moh-issue?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:22e13ffa-1597-4e17-a842-e401740afd66Post:3fb026f6-ee2c-4b67-b196-865d8cfbb9a1">Re: Ugh, MOH issue.</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Ugh, MOH issue. : Maybe she had post purchase regrets, not about the dress but about the money?  Definitely not an excuse to sell the BM dress and not talk to you about it.  It sounds like you really would like her to be there as your BM on your wedding day.  Unfortunately for that she will need to wear something.  How much was the dress if you don't mind me asking?  I can't believe she would have gotten all her money back by reselling it.  But since she did sell it maybe she really needed the money desperately.
    Posted by kodakitty[/QUOTE]<div>
    </div><div>No, no, this was a dress she already had, from a previous wedding.  I don't have any idea how much hers cost because she purchase it last year.  I also don't think she would have gotten that much for it (of course I didn't ask, that would be rude!), but I don't think that's the issue because she flat out told me she sold it because she didn't want to wear it.  Unless she was lying, which is possible because the whole thing is really weird!!</div><div>
    </div><div>Betrothed, sorry to be confusing.  I think I know where you got that idea, and what I had meant was that I didn't care for the style all that much and had seen others I thought were prettier, but I didn't actually have something picked out already, and I just really wanted all my girls to like the dress, so when they all agreed on the style (which surprised me because they all have very different tastes!!), I was thrilled with that, plus happy I could save my MOH (who is my absolutely best friend) some money and still have her in my wedding.  Does that make sense?  

    </div>
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    You guys, I'm pretty sure this has been posted before.

    Also, I think maybe Nates should go with "Mr. and Mrs." on those luggage tags.
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    If she sold it simply because she didn't want to wear it, and therefore thought selling it would relieve her of that, then she sucks even more than I originally thought. So yeah, I say stick to your guns and go with the dress your other girls have, and tell MOH that's the dress whether she likes it or not.
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_ugh-moh-issue?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:22e13ffa-1597-4e17-a842-e401740afd66Post:da7524e0-fd2f-40f4-b1a8-2c6cf998cf02">Re: Ugh, MOH issue.</a>:
    [QUOTE]<strong>You guys, I'm pretty sure this has been posted before.</strong> Also, I think maybe Nates should go with "Mr. and Mrs. " on those luggage tags.
    Posted by kimheartsscott[/QUOTE]

    Are you not fully caught up, or are you making a funny?  My brain is slow today, and I can't tell :(

    image
    Everything the light touches is my kingdom.
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    Can anyone tell me if this has been posted before? I think it has been.
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_ugh-moh-issue?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:22e13ffa-1597-4e17-a842-e401740afd66Post:f67d2a68-c636-4ffe-8e46-ab680716a038">Re: Ugh, MOH issue.</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Ugh, MOH issue. : Are you not fully caught up, or are you making a funny?  My brain is slow today, and I can't tell :(
    Posted by J&K10910[/QUOTE]
    Yeah I'm with J.

    And just in case you're being serious... Her posting history is not a secret.  If you do not believe me when I say this is the first time she posted this, click the little magnifying glass and see for yourself.
    kd.joseph's wish is my command
    image
    Just call me "Brothel"
    And betrothed, I'm disgusted with most of the comments that you have posted. I don't think I've ever read such judgmental comments in my life. I'm so lucky that the girls I speak to on theknot are nothing like you...I would've never come on here for ADVICE if I would've encountered a big a bitch as you. I genuinely feel awful for your children or your future children, and I think it would be irresponsible of YOU not to invest in their future therapy sessions starting now. Because trust me when I tell you honey, they're gonna need it. ~jcaruncho2010
    my read shelf:
    Betrothed 123's book recommendations, favorite quotes, book clubs, book trivia, book lists (read shelf)
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    Wait. I'm like 87% sure that I read about this in the paper. Or on TMZ. Or she posted it before. Or not at all.
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    OK, I promise I will never write about this again, unless it's to update the situation or ask a new a question.  So, I don't promise to never write about this again at all, actually.  Sorry.  

    OK, so it sounds like the consensus is (in summary form):
    1.  I've posted about this before.
    2.  I should try to talk to my friend again to see if something else is going on.
    3.  If not, she either needs to get the darn dress, or not, and if not, she won't be standing with me (which hopefully won't happen).

    Did I miss anything important?
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    Don't let her drama bring you down. The BM dresses are picked out and ordered, move onto the next step.

    She may be trying to find an excuse not to be in your wedding, like at first she was trying to use the money for the dress excuse, and now she is looking for something else. Who knows, maybe she doesn't even know. But you can't get all caught up in it with her. Just tell her that you are here to listen if she wants to talk, but as for the dress the decision is made. Either she gets it or she doesn't.

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    I posted this exact story once before on a different wedding forum called "The Bow". That's probably what's confusing everyone.
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_ugh-moh-issue?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:22e13ffa-1597-4e17-a842-e401740afd66Post:e5d26614-a2d0-4b31-9967-bd1fdada18b9">Re: Ugh, MOH issue.</a>:
    [QUOTE]OK, I promise I will never write about this again, unless it's to update the situation or ask a new a question.  So, I don't promise to never write about this again at all, actually.  Sorry.   OK, so it sounds like the consensus is (in summary form): 1.  I've posted about this before. 2.  I should try to talk to my friend again to see if something else is going on. 3.  If not, she either needs to get the darn dress, or not, and if not, she won't be standing with me (which hopefully won't happen). Did I miss anything important?
    Posted by SondraDee3[/QUOTE]

    psychic vampires - if she is one, she must be disposed of
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_ugh-moh-issue?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:22e13ffa-1597-4e17-a842-e401740afd66Post:e5d26614-a2d0-4b31-9967-bd1fdada18b9">Re: Ugh, MOH issue.</a>:
    [QUOTE]OK, I promise I will never write about this again, unless it's to update the situation or ask a new a question.  So, I don't promise to never write about this again at all, actually.  Sorry.   OK, so it sounds like the consensus is (in summary form): 1.  I've posted about this before. 2.  I should try to talk to my friend again to see if something else is going on. 3.  If not, she either needs to get the darn dress, or not, and if not, she won't be standing with me (which hopefully won't happen). Did I miss anything important?
    Posted by SondraDee3[/QUOTE]


    I think you're good to go.
    panther
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    OK, thank you, everyone!  
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_ugh-moh-issue?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:22e13ffa-1597-4e17-a842-e401740afd66Post:f67d2a68-c636-4ffe-8e46-ab680716a038">Re: Ugh, MOH issue.</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Ugh, MOH issue. : Are you not fully caught up, or are you making a funny?  My brain is slow today, and I can't tell :(
    Posted by J&K10910[/QUOTE]

    <div>
    </div><div>I am firmly in the "she said it IN HER OP people" camp.</div>
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_ugh-moh-issue?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:22e13ffa-1597-4e17-a842-e401740afd66Post:3ba98f70-7ad2-4b5e-adf3-59eddf5c983a">Re: Ugh, MOH issue.</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Ugh, MOH issue. : I am firmly in the "she said it IN HER OP people" camp.
    Posted by kimheartsscott[/QUOTE]

    Ok good.  You scared me for a second.

    image
    Everything the light touches is my kingdom.
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_ugh-moh-issue?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:22e13ffa-1597-4e17-a842-e401740afd66Post:75775d3a-eca5-4392-8bb0-4581945c40c0">Re: Ugh, MOH issue.</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Ugh, MOH issue. : Yeah I'm with J. And just in case you're being serious... Her posting history is not a secret.  If you do not believe me when I say this is the first time she posted this, click the little magnifying glass and see for yourself.
    Posted by betrothed123[/QUOTE]

    <div>omg. I now feel like a complete tool. I never had any idea what that magnifying glass did. I don't even know if I knew it was there but it is way easier than the other way to look up posts. </div>
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    The Bow - BWAAA HA HA HA.  That made me laugh out loud.
    ~ Missie

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