So, my mom's a bully.

AllAboutTheBenjamin

And this is a P&R because I'm leaving work for the day but if anyone's around - your best recipe to de-stress?  I'd appreciate it.  All I feel like doing is crying right now and I seriously, seriously need to calm down.  I'll check back later.

MarriedInAFever

What happened?

pirategal03

Usually I put on really loud music and sing along in the car on the way home.  Then I cry.  Then I drink wine.

Sorry your mom's being a bully

KaylaSue19

I am sorry your mom is being a bully. That is not fun to deal with no matter what, especially a week before your wedding. The only thing I can think of is to tell you to have a glass of wine and ignore her.

Nebb

beer. mine is chilling in the fridge. you are welcome to share.

MarriedInAFever

Nebb, Jon Hamm is on Conan tonight.

Nebb

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_moms-bully?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:27cd3aaf-1728-4f7d-b954-5b3d9df0ccafPost:e83f169a-5d23-45e9-8bf7-12208c814e43">Re: So, my mom's a bully.</a>:
[QUOTE]Nebb, Jon Hamm is on Conan tonight.
Posted by MarriedInAFever[/QUOTE]
I KNOW!!!! I am staying up for it, though I dont know how many nights I will be staying up for conan here on out unless the guest rocks. I am freaking EXHAUSTED from staying up that late (its on at 12 here).

slubkin

De-stress recipe depends on the situation.  If I am angry, I have to do something physical to get the anger out first.  Gym workout, a brisk walk, rearranging furniture, punching pillows- SOMETHING.

Then followed by a hot bath with some deliciously scented products from Lush.  Followed by getting in bed and snuggling with cats.

pixiedust84

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_moms-bully?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:27cd3aaf-1728-4f7d-b954-5b3d9df0ccafPost:0538cd0f-b41a-4188-b835-4a798acf74dc">Re: So, my mom's a bully.</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to So, my mom's a bully. : 1.  grab bottle of wine 2.  remove cork 3.  pour glass 4.  drink
Posted by ILoveMilkDuds[/QUOTE]

This. Add some funny TV shows, yummy food and pajama pants.

MarriedInAFever

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_moms-bully?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:27cd3aaf-1728-4f7d-b954-5b3d9df0ccafPost:a05a2d60-6ae2-4dac-8316-de3ee7bdd739">Re: So, my mom's a bully.</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: So, my mom's a bully. : I KNOW!!!! I am staying up for it, though I dont know how many nights I will be staying up for conan here on out unless the guest rocks. I am freaking EXHAUSTED from staying up that late (its on at 12 here).
Posted by Nebb[/QUOTE]

He was briefly in a skit on the premiere too. I guess I'll have to watch it later. I have to work overtime tomorrow.

DodgersBride

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_moms-bully?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:27cd3aaf-1728-4f7d-b954-5b3d9df0ccafPost:a05a2d60-6ae2-4dac-8316-de3ee7bdd739">Re: So, my mom's a bully.</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: So, my mom's a bully. : I KNOW!!!! I am staying up for it, though I dont know how many nights I will be staying up for conan here on out unless the guest rocks. I am freaking EXHAUSTED from staying up that late (its on at 12 here).
Posted by Nebb[/QUOTE]

That's how I am except it's on at 11pm where I am. I usually like to be in bed early during the week. This whole week I have something planned to stay out late. Tonight it's a concert.

AATB- I usually like to listen and rock out to music or take a nice hot long bath.

MarriedInAFever

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_moms-bully?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:27cd3aaf-1728-4f7d-b954-5b3d9df0ccafPost:51e934e3-6a13-49dd-bbd5-1fd74711e436">Re: So, my mom's a bully.</a>:
[QUOTE]De-stress recipe depends on the situation.  If I am angry, I have to do something physical to get the anger out first.  Gym workout, a brisk walk, rearranging furniture, punching pillows- SOMETHING. Then followed by a hot bath with some deliciously <strong>scented products from Lush</strong>.  Followed by getting in bed and snuggling with cats.
Posted by slubkin[/QUOTE]

I love Lush!

reils

I am sorry your mom's being a bully. That sucks.
If I am mad at someone/something I like to go for a run or do some boxing. Punching things helps.  
If I am sad and need a good cry I usually take a nice hot bath.
Hope you get things worked out .

allisong23

I have a lot of leftover Halloween candy and a beer fridge. It makes me happy.

beatlesgirl25

That sucks, AATB. For de-stressing, it helps me to vent to H, which usually leads to him finding cute animal pictures for me to look at, then we have dinner together and watch something funny on TV, and I just imagine that whatever was stressing me out so much has been left at work. Hope you are able to relax tonight.

jessienjeremy

Its on at 10 here!  So I watch about the first half then I have to go to sleep.

I love me some COCO

LessThanZero

In Response to Re: So, my mom's a bully.:
[QUOTE]Usually I put on really loud music and sing along in the car on the way home.  Then I cry.  Then I drink wine. Sorry your mom's being a bully
Posted by pirategal03[/QUOTE]

Oh wow. This is exactly what I do.

And I'm also sorry your mom is being a bully, AATB. Maybe take a hot bath? Curl up with a good book? Lay down on the couch or your bed, in the dark and listen to music?

I also recommend wine with all of those suggestions.

katiewhompus

I don't know, but if you find something that works pass it on my way ok?

*hugs* Sorry your mom is being mean. It will all be over soon.

[Deleted User]

That sucks, sorry to hear about it. What did your mom do?

I usually keep my stress to myself, which probably isn't healthy. Or I mini-vent to H, but usually not. To relax I veg out in front of the TV, write, and check out my favorite websites.

JenGin74

Want me to bitch-slap her for you? I can do it all stealth like. She'll never see it coming  :P

LessThanZero

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_moms-bully?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:27cd3aaf-1728-4f7d-b954-5b3d9df0ccafPost:aad0b826-d222-440a-82cd-69052f2f9c6e">Re: So, my mom's a bully.</a>:
[QUOTE]Want me to bitch-slap her for you? I can do it all stealth like. She'll never see it coming  :P
Posted by JenGin74[/QUOTE]

Aw shiiiiit. South Jersey all up in your face, betch!

AllAboutTheBenjamin

A bath does sound nice.  I drove home with the window open (it's cold out) and it's raining here so the fresh air felt nice.

She's just... really impossible.  About the dumbest, most pointless things.  She seriously makes me want to put a kabosh on the entire wedding and just run off to Vegas or something.

With her it's usually not one thing - it's a string of things, and then there's like, ONE more thing that brings down the whole house of cards.  And that's where I'm at.  She's flipping shiit over not knowing that we were going to play a CD with secular music on it before the pianist starts playing (pianist starts 20 minutes before ceremony begins).  Except, she should know.  Because I've told her at least three times.  But she insists that I never told her, and that I'm leaving her out of things on purpose and peppering her psycho scream-fest with little bits of "you're acting like an ungrateful brat" and "dammit, don't get frustrated with ME!"

....??

Planning a wedding with this woman has just sucked.  From her telling me I would look prettier in my dress if I lost five pounds, to her saying things like "well, YOU don't want THIS at your wedding," and fretting over useless details like the size of the ribbon decor on the wedding cakes and the fact that I don't want a guest book, or disagreeing with me that this cake server looks crooked and that one doesn't (when they are the exact same damn knife!?).  She's just insane.  And she's trying to bring me down with her or something.

I know it's her money and I do appreciate her help and her input, but I could really do without her just being mean to me over nothing, or treating me like I'm stupid.

Jen - I would be honored if you bitch-slapped my mother.

JenGin74

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_moms-bully?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:27cd3aaf-1728-4f7d-b954-5b3d9df0ccafPost:daf8bc27-82b5-4124-ba0b-51c200bc723b">Re: So, my mom's a bully.</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: So, my mom's a bully. : Aw shiiiiit. South Jersey all up in your face, betch!
Posted by LessThanZero[/QUOTE]


Holla!

JenGin74

Holy crap AATB. Sorry she's being such a douche. In one ear and out of the other.

AllAboutTheBenjamin

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_moms-bully?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:27cd3aaf-1728-4f7d-b954-5b3d9df0ccafPost:4dee85a1-691f-4efc-8ecd-2e6a8919a159">Re: So, my mom's a bully.</a>:
[QUOTE]Holy crap AATB. Sorry she's being such a douche.<strong> In one ear and out of the other.</strong>
Posted by JenGin74[/QUOTE]

Yeah, it's her trademark thing.  She does it with everyone.  And if we call her out on it, we're the assholes.

I actually stood up to her tonight though.  When it comes to my mom, I have no spine.  It's easier for me to just clam up and comply and then hang up and cry for an hour.  But tonight I actually told her "DON'T yell at me!"  And it felt good for about a second.

goutesh

Whoa.  Well.  It will all be over in a little over a week, right?  I would bust open some wine and dance in the living room. 

LessThanZero

That's ri-goddamn-diculous and it sucks that you have to deal with it. The only thing I can say, is to just nod and brush it off. I know that's easier said than done. But don't lose sight of how fabulous your wedding day will be and get caught up in her drama. None of this will matter once the wedding is over.

If she wants to act like a crazy nutbar, then let her do that to herself. The only person you can control is yourself. Shake it off girl, you're getting married.

[Deleted User]

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_moms-bully?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:27cd3aaf-1728-4f7d-b954-5b3d9df0ccafPost:6f87830a-fb27-4320-8b88-c4b9c7c8d792">Re: So, my mom's a bully.</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: So, my mom's a bully. : Yeah, it's her trademark thing.  She does it with everyone.  And if we call her out on it, we're the assholes. I actually stood up to her tonight though.  When it comes to my mom, I have no spine.  It's easier for me to just clam up and comply and then hang up and cry for an hour.  But tonight I actually told her "DON'T yell at me!"  And it felt good for about a second.
Posted by AllAboutTheBenjamin[/QUOTE]

I just had to stand up to my family tonight when I told my dad we couldn't make the family trip to NC for Thanksgiving. I'm really, really bummed about it but I got the guilt trip so finally I just told him that I didn't need to feel worse than I already did, but we have bills to pay.

And I still feel like shiit over it.

BecW2be

Hey, remember that one time your mom was a bully and saved that wedding dress thingie for you? That was cool.

Hang in there, and just know that you have to take the good bully with the bad bully when dealing with a bully. Especially the bully that's paying for it all. I know that sounds mean, but I mean it in the "buck up little camper!", nicest way. All this little shiit will disappear and you'll be married before you know it. Chin up!

AllAboutTheBenjamin

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_moms-bully?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:27cd3aaf-1728-4f7d-b954-5b3d9df0ccafPost:b5b7a844-7094-49eb-9441-a4b39bfd678f">Re: So, my mom's a bully.</a>:
[QUOTE]<strong>Hey, remember that one time your mom was a bully and saved that wedding dress thingie for you? That was cool. :)</strong> Hang in there, and just know that you have to take the good bully with the bad bully when dealing with a bully. Especially the bully that's paying for it all. I know that sounds mean, but I mean it in the "buck up little camper!", nicest way. All this little shiit will disappear and you'll be married before you know it. Chin up!
Posted by BecW2be[/QUOTE]

I do remember :) Which is also why this sucks so much.  If she wants to be mean she should channel it at someone who actually deserves it.  And I know you mean it in the "buck up little camper" nicest way of course!  Haha.

I just have moments from time to time where I honestly don't want to even see her or hear from her.  I was praying that she could go without going off the deep end with me again until after the wedding was over, but she just never forgets things and drags them out.  I don't even want her there next weekend.  Of course this is the overly emotional and shaken up me that's saying that - it more than likely will blow over by the wedding.  At least, I hope it does.

I just picture myself looking around at everything and loving it all and then remembering that I had a really stupid fight with my mom about crap that doesn't even matter.  And I just really, really don't want that.

SEWF

It will all be ok. Take a deep breath, kiss that future husband of yours, and open a bottle of wine. Your mom may be getting on your nerves, but remember that even if you want to kill her before your wedding, that you will be marrying the man you love.

Then avoid her for a couple weeks after the wedding so you both can have time to cool down. Sometimes being around someone too much will make you crazy!