Confession / I'm bothered / Semi pity party

JenGin74

Within five minutes of getting home from work today Tim tells me that his friend B got his girlfriend pregnant.

Three weeks ago B had a heart to heart with Tim about how he wasn't sure if things were working with his GF and now suddenly everything is all flowers and sunshine and baby baby baby.

This is the third "accident" in as many months among friends and I'm not sure how much more "good news" I can take. We've been trying unsuccessfully for two years while everyone else is Oops, I'm pregnant.

I'm ashamed to admit that I'm more jealous than you could possibly imagine and I'm not happy for them at all.

When Tim told me I went in the other room and cried. I hate that I'm acting this way, but I can't seem to stop myself.

aprovencher21

Aw I'm so very sorry.  That situation sucks.  I'm sure it'll happen for you soon.  <<hugs>>

AllAboutTheBenjamin

Even though you feel like a shitty person - I can't say anyone can blame you for the way you feel. 

I don't know from experience but I can imagine it would be really tough to feel happy for people all around you who are getting pregnant on accident when you've been trying for a long time and nothing's happened.

*hugs*

PetraStonegirl

I am so sorry that you are experiencing this. It may bother you to have the reaction that you're having, but I think it's a reasonable reaction. Just don't let it consume you, and I'm sure something wonderful will happen for you.

DodgersBride

It will happen for you and it will be at the right time!

JenGin74

I think what bothers me the most is that I wasn't crying because I was sad, but because I was angry.

npasquale16

Oh, Jen, that sucks.  I sincerely hope things start working out soon.

One of my friends can't have kids at all and this year at work was baby central (literally 5 or 6 new babies born and our staff isn't big at all).  Your feelings aren't wrong--they are what they are.  Don't beat yourself up for how you feel.

Blueyed228

That pisses me off too.  Do you know how many times you have to do it unprotected to get pregnant?  Thats alot of pull and prays in my opinion. 

I get the whole "it only takes once" argument but cmon.  Realistically there is a small window when it can actually happen.  Sure there are exceptions, but if you are not using condoms or BC then its not really an accident now is it?

JenGin74

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_confession-im-bothered-semi-pity-party?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:35940450-93cd-429e-8c1d-4cf9624b33bdPost:da9798f8-00de-4a53-9051-d3f115d628df">Re: Confession / I'm bothered / Semi pity party</a>:
[QUOTE]Oh, Jen, that sucks.  I sincerely hope things start working out soon. One of my friends can't have kids at all and this year at work was baby central (literally 5 or 6 new babies born and our staff isn't big at all).  Your feelings aren't wrong--they are what they are.  Don't beat yourself up for how you feel.
Posted by npasquale16[/QUOTE]


I feel sad for your friend. That must be awful

aprovencher21

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_confession-im-bothered-semi-pity-party?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:35940450-93cd-429e-8c1d-4cf9624b33bdPost:11a4a078-12b5-4972-b67e-fd51206e5f2b">Re: Confession / I'm bothered / Semi pity party</a>:
[QUOTE]I think what bothers me the most is that I wasn't crying because I was sad, but because I was angry.
Posted by JenGin74[/QUOTE]

I think that's a totally natural reaction to the situation.  I wouldn't be hard on yourself for that.  I'd be angry as well.

Nebb

Aww im sorry to hear youre going through this I know how hard it can be to watch these things go on around you when its what you really want to happen for yourself. Your time will come though, I know it.

Atleast its fun to keep trying, right

JenGin74

Blue, I think you hit the nail on the head. Accident my ass.

LedZeppelin

That's completely understandle that you would feel jealous. It has to be heartbreaking to try so long without luck, only to have someone else get pregnant so easily, especially when it may not be the best situation for them.

I hope the best for you and I believe it will happen for you when it's meant to.

*hug*

JenGin74

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_confession-im-bothered-semi-pity-party?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:35940450-93cd-429e-8c1d-4cf9624b33bdPost:4479fb51-0a4b-45f3-92e7-4d7e9327a748">Re: Confession / I'm bothered / Semi pity party</a>:
[QUOTE]Aww im sorry to hear youre going through this :( I know how hard it can be to watch these things go on around you when its what you really want to happen for yourself. Your time will come though, I know it.<strong> Atleast its fun to keep trying, right :)</strong>
Posted by Nebb[/QUOTE]

This is really the only bright spot in the whole situation.

Blueyed228

Jen- not that its any of my business but my sister tried for 2 years too.  She thought it was her or him or infertility etc.  They did some procedure that was like a balloon thing in her tubes to unblock them.  She got pregnant the next month.  They said it was a fairly common problem that was easily fixed but not alot of girls know about.

She told me that she wished she had known sooner to ask her Dr about it.

JenGin74

I think part of my anger is because I'm in panic mode right now. I just turned 36 two weeks ago. It's not like I have a lot of time left.

Nebb

I just want to give you a big hug right now, I know how you feel (not so much about this, but a similar feeling). Vent it out, have a good cry, and try to stay positive.

JenGin74

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_confession-im-bothered-semi-pity-party?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:35940450-93cd-429e-8c1d-4cf9624b33bdPost:1eb3e488-05bd-4f56-9d88-f313abe082d6">Re: Confession / I'm bothered / Semi pity party</a>:
[QUOTE]Jen- not that its any of my business but my sister tried for 2 years too.  She thought it was her or him or infertility etc.  They did some procedure that was like a balloon thing in her tubes to unblock them.  She got pregnant the next month.  They said it was a fairly common problem that was easily fixed but not alot of girls know about. She told me that she wished she had known sooner to ask her Dr about it.
Posted by Blueyed228[/QUOTE]


They checked my tubes (unblocked and fine). Tim has super sperm (TMI, sorry). I've pretty much had every fertility test known to man.

My doctor thinks the only problem is that my cycle extremely irregular. I'm starting Clomid next cycle and crossing my fingers.

Blueyed228

Think of it this way.  You have a wonderful life, with a loving husband, and you are going to have kids in a healthy happy environment. 

Dont stress about it.  Its going to happen for you!

JenGin74

Thanks for letting me get it out. I was feeling like a huge biitch for being angry.

SarahPLiz

I'm so sorry you are going through this. I totally understand the angry feelings. Cry it out and try to keep your spirits up. It will happen for you, hopefully the clomid helps. 

LesPaul

Sorry, Jen.  {hugs}

[Deleted User]

I don't blame you at all for how you feel about it, especially considering they were on the rocks and now suddenly a baby makes right again. I don't have personal experience, but I'd imagine it's natural to be envious and even angry over something like this.

it's not like you're complaining to the world that life is unfair or telling the girl she was stupid to get knocked up. You're just wanting your time to come, so feel whatever you feel. And sorry to hear about the difficulties. I don't want kids, but I always feel for those who really do.

Aimee8314

I don't think anyone would blame you for your reaction and feelings.  I've had a few friends who've had great luck with Clomid, if that helps at all.   ::hugs::

(and for the record I felt similarly when everyone we knew - even those who dated for less than 3 months - were getting engaged and we weren't after 2.5 years.)

J&K10910

Sorry, Jen  

ricksang

Sorry Jen

[Deleted User]

I'm so sorry, Jen. I don't blame you at all for being jealous. It's seems so unfair when you work so hard for something that comes so easy for some. Hugs to you.
I'll do a baby dance for you tonight before I go to sleep. Now, you should know that it requires sacrificing a baby squirrel,  shaving all of the cats in my neighborhood, and eating a bowl of hot trash, but if you're okay with having that on your head, I am too.

skippylouwho

Clomid worked like a champ everytime for my SIL - they now have 4 daughters after thinking they'd never have any kids (no twins, all singles)

goheels05

Hugs Jen.

It's perfectly normal to be angry at that.  It's like, damn you universe, WTF?!

When my friend's idiot BF knocked her up 2 weeks into dating and has made her life hell ever since, I decided that apparently the sperm at the bottom of the gene pool are good swimmers.  It's like reverse Darwinism or something. 

Chin up girl.  One of my friends got pregnant after just 3 months of starting Clomid!  I've got high hopes for a baby Jen. 

katiewhompus

Oh Jen Any time you need to cry or vent or anything feel free to contact me on FB or here. Yesterday I did the same thing (love you Heels) because it seems like everyone but me is getting pregnant. Some months it's ok, but yeah, yesterday the only thing I could think of is "It's not fvcking fair that X gets pregnant while Jen and I aren't" (Yes I do think of you often).

I'm really hoping the chlomid works for you. My doctor speaks really highly of it and has had a lot of successful pregnancies after prescribing it.

*hugs and baby dust*

BecW2be

I'm so sorry, Jen. You have every right to cry, vent, rant, whatever. I love you.