Wedding Websites: Are we turning into Narcissists?

deborah_a

I just read a rather harsh, but insightful article on slate.com. I'm currently engaged, with 10 months until the big day, so I've been working on a Wedding Website for our guests to check out and gather info on the groom and myself. I developed a sort of writer's block when it came to writing a bio or "get to know us" section. I felt like such a goober for lack of a better word.  I've been trying to get my fiance to write his, but I think deep down he knows how lame it is and just doesn't want to hurt my feelings by telling me so. 

This article pointed out how the modern age of facebook and online profiles tell the world everything they need to know about ourselves and takes away from personal communication and bonding. I have realized maybe I shouldn't cheapen real moments by listing every detail digitally. I would like to share facts about my fiance and myself such as how we met, the proposal story, to our closest family and friends in real life!  I decided to just stick to listing our registries, a few engagement photos, directions, hotel accommodations, and things to do in the area. Besides, I don't want my friends and family laughing at how ridiculous I sound describing our relationship and how wonderful I think we are together 

I'm just curious what other brides think about this issue?  Let me hear your thoughts.


http://www.slate.com/id/2247489/?GT1=38001

anne.azano

I 100% agree with you.  I was faced with the same sort of template (wedding party bios, how we met, proposal story).  and I thought, why would I put all this stuff out there?  If I want you to know this information, I'll tell you in person.  It's the same thing with twitter and facebook.  Why would we assume anyone cares?  

I do have a wedding website, but I kept it to date and time, directions, hotel info, maps, and a few photos of us.  Stuff like that.  

Lenore2010

I did short versions of stuff like "How we met". I also did brief commentary on the wedding party, I just said how we know each person.

Like Facebook, it is all in fun and I figure I do not need to put our life story out there, just a few personal things to keep it interesting.

[Deleted User]

I did short versions of how we met, got engaged, etc, since everyone already knew all that anyway. Our website was more for listing directions, the menu, hotels, and anything else people need to know.

quotequeen

I am not planning on putting any stories of our lives on our website, and there is only one picture of us on the front page.  The wedding party page just has pictures of each person with their names and relationship to us (e.g., Katie, sister of the groom).  Everything else is useful information about the event and the area.

shoegal715

I like wedding websites that are informative for guests: accommodations, reception area hotels, ceremony times etc. 

I must admit though, I roll my eyes at the wedding websites that post every detail of the wedding planning, pictures of the rings, wedding blogs, paragraph long engagement stories and cheesy music on the site. 

There is a fine line between having an informative website and blog, and just going over the top and crazy with it.

rjtutter

My FI and I have started our wedding webpage and I think we have a lot of stuff people have complained about.  We do have a small bio for each of us, and a pretty big section on our proposal (written by FI, what can I say? He was proud!).  I see it a little differently, though.  I don't *expect* guests to read it.  I could care less if they just skip to the information on the ceremony and reception.  There's really two reason's it's written. 1) So that guests who may not know one of us as well can (if they choose) learn 2) To provide a unique memory of our engagement, and a snapshot of us to reminisce on in the future.

Yes, it could be a little narcissistic, but I LOVE reading information on wedding websites.  Even if I know the couple it's cute to see what they wrote, how they describe themselves, or their engagement.  At the same time, I agree with pp, there's definitely a fine line!  A wedding website doesn't need to have updates every time you pick out something new!

NAClark

That was an interesting article! It's true... I enjoy reading some cute things about the couple on a wedding website, but emphasis on some. I think the reality is that people will look at your wedding website once or twice, and maybe for a total of 5-10 minutes. We kept it to logistical details and a short FAQ page with a few questions (proposal, honeymoon plans, things like that) and one sentence answers. And like the article says, the websites that are full of details and gushy stories and updates are prime targets for mockery. Beware!

LaurenAnn4

C'mon, the crazy out of control narcissistic ones are kind of halarious to read, don't you think?   I get a kick out of 'em anyway.

deborah_a

My fiance and I are both in the military and our families still have never met. I've met most of his, and he has met only a few of my close family. I just don't want people on his family to get to know me based on reading a web page, and same with my family about him. I want them all to mix and mingle and get to know eachother and us at the wedding itself.  I have made my decision...just the basics for my site.

erollis

This makes me want to scale down my website I have for our wedding. Although it isn't nearly as bad as a lot I have seen.I never planed on posting a ton of pictures up or going into any detail about the weding party or even the planning. Music never even crossed my mind! There is info about the both of us (short and sweet) and how we met (a bit long winded but most people do not know the story and it realy is silly). It is for people who know us both but not to much about us (for example: my cousins in florida know him but know nothing about his life/ interests). I guess the only way I can validate such narcissim is that we will not have a slide show that people will be forced to watch at our RD or wedding/reception. No one is forced to read anything on the website. If they are curious (I know I am) they will read what they want.

Simply Fated

Of course I don't mean this to be offensive to anyone... just my 2 cents...

Sometimes they are interesting to read... sometimes they are just absurd.

Even some of my closer friends... I just want to ask, why, <insert name here />, why?
I'm almost embarrassed for some of them. But, ya know, if it makes them happy, go for it.I don't HAVE to read it... but I promise you, if it's absurd, I will laugh.
My only advice... if you want to keep your wedding site from crossing over into lulzy territory... Keep it short and sweet and to the point. Just as if you were telling the story in person, no one wants you to beat around the bush for a half an hour and draw the whole thing out into a novel.

kkaimala

I agree. I think that wedding websites can be quite narcissistic. I decided to go old school and just send a newsletter to our family and bridal party detailing all the info they need and nothing else. I'll let them pass the word around. I didn't think anybody would even look at the website. (I very rarely do).

kkaimala

Also, I really wish that people would stop posting about my wedding on Facebook... We only invited our closest friends and family, and already people are having hurt feelings because of the facebook posts. boo. I don't want anyone to have hurt feelings.

tommyandy

kkaimala, do a post about budget/venue limits & how you are bummed out that you can't invite everyone.  Also, we set up a wedding email address so our real email boxes don't get slammed with junk mail for the rest of our lives.  Vendors really do 'share' your email address with the world.

Dub0Saturn

I saw that article too and my response was, if you don't like wedding websites, don't go to them.  No one is forcing you to look at the site, so who cares if a bride is excited about her wedding and makes a website about it.  People can just find so much stuff to complain about.   BTW, I showed my FI the article and his response was "40 and single much?"  I loled.

parker624

I sort of agree about the over-the-top websites, but on the other hand, I think it is as equally if not more rude to set up a website just for the registry page.

nhelene

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_wedding-website-turning-narcissists?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:368fb71f-af91-4815-8bc0-626728e4fbd4Post:df981fcb-92c9-4fb8-8b7f-272ae6bb3601">Re: Wedding Websites: Are we turning into Narcissists?</a>:
[QUOTE] Also, we set up a wedding email address so our real email boxes don't get slammed with junk mail for the rest of our lives.  Vendors really do 'share' your email address with the world.
Posted by tommyandy[/QUOTE]

I did the same thing, and boy am I glad I did. I'm getting spam from people I've never heard of.

sdvora

I totally get the point.  I'm not a Twitter-er or a Facebook junkie. (It's a bit scary to hear how many posts here revolve around people having problems because others learn of their wedding from all the details on Facebook, and then find out they're not invited).

I'm fairly private, and the only thing that made me nervous about my upcoming wedding was the idea that a bunch of people were going to listen to me say my personal vows aloud.  It seemed so private.  But, then I realized: eh, screw 'em if they feel the need to make fun of me for being personal about my vows.  You only get to do all of this once, if you do it right.

And the same could be said about the wedding websites.  If you feel weird writing about your relationship for that audience, that's absolutely valid.  But no one's twisting any arms to get people to read them.  Besides, the only people that will check yours out are people you know.   And believe me, they want to read about all that crap. 

I just tried to make mine as amusing as possible, because I am a narcissist when it comes to trying to make people laugh.